To feel annoyed trees were cut down to print this anti-breastfeeding article

[cherrymama]

In the latest edition of Mother and Baby magazine (I bought it for the free gift) the deputy editor has an article about breastfeeding. In it she says that she "couldn't be fagged" to breastfeed and that breastfeeding her newborn using breasts that had previously been used for sex would feel "creepy". And that even the health benefits of breastfeeding "wouldn't induce her to stick her nipple in her bawling baby's mouth."

I think her attitude is horrible! I understand many people try to breastfeed and don't manage, but to say that it is creepy is another thing.

"This is quite honestly the only subject I can think of where one person's view cannot be openly expressed, and must come with disclaimers etc. "

I really disagree with that.
For example, other taboo subjects:
racist views
feeling uneasy about mental disabilities
sexist views
views about religious belief
views about private education and the people who choose to send their children to private schools
views about obesity
views about controlled crying
views about elective caesareans

all of these subjects (and many many more) could be offensive or hurtful, so people are (or should be) inhibited from speaking about them freely in a civilised society in which we care about other people's feelings.

morris to recap. one of the problems with said journo printing this opinion is that it is a conflict of interests. She is in the pay of a magazine that sells a lot of advertising space. Ff companies will buy this. Breasts will not.

Not really the point but there has always been "looking down" on people that choose or ended up FF'ing.

I BF my DD for 2yrs 9mths . . I loved it but when she was little I was a new mum and not keen on BF'ing in public (by the end I'd whip em out anywhere lol) but I used to express and feed breast milk via a bottle . . I remember MULTIPLE times being pulled up by other "concerned" mothers about the fact I wasnt BF'ing . . One women even quizzed me on the ingredients of formula told her I had no idea . . and she ranted at me for about 20mins before I very calmly told her I was breast feeding . . and it was expressed milk . . this was met with more ranting about lies and about how selfish I was before she stormed off.

its a subject which I think a lot of people have strong opinions on but some take it too far.

I think a mag should give pros and cons but calling it creepy?? think that really would put off anyone that was unsure

OooOo This thread is much longer that I though it was . . silly pregnancy brain not noticing!! previous post is probs totally off subject now Ooops!

hopeforthebest this is true. You can add 'disgusting' and 'perverted' to 'weird and freaky' as well

I have no idea whether bf mothers in 'ff areas' get more or less flak than ff mothers in 'bf areas' (areas = geographic and social, as you say). I do know that ff mothers are never told to feed their babies in a toilet or to wear a shawl or to leave the premises.

Rude people are rude to other people everywhere. Ff mothers do not need to feel uniquely singled out, or uniquely criticised or put down.

In fact it happens to all of us, at some point, that some aspect of our parenting is rudely criticised by someone, and we might be rudely quizzed and rudely confronted, and sometimes deeply hurt and distressed (I could tell you stories about what someone said about my lovely red-headed dd1 when she was a baby, and on numerous occasions, my lovely ds and his very noticeable facial birthmark It really, really does not matter what rude people say and do, though it may not feel like that at the time).

No one would give a secong glance to a woman feeding a baby with a bottle on the tube,or on a bus,or in a shop,but try bf in all those places and see the shock!(of course some people are niceabout it but a lot are not).

I just try and think that for every person who is rude about public BFing, there must be loads of others who are either thinking "oh wow, she's BFing, that's great" or are just totally indifferent to it. In fact IMHO the latter is preferable, as it'd indicate BFing really is normalised in society.

Full article, here:

www.lactivist.net/?p=1155

linkie no workie

here

sigh. just read the article. not nice

If shes never tried it how does she know whats its loike. I hate people who dont try BF then slag it off.

Thanks for linking the article, now we can see what this is all about!

I think the only troubling part was the bit about sexuality - seems odd that an adult woman would feel that way.

But the rest of it I have no problem with.

FWIW, I'm cynical about all these strangers who apparently accost women for BF or FF, but if it does happen then I'm sure it goes both ways. I can just imagine what kind of reception FF would get round my way, and my mum wouldn't be seen out with me if I FF'ed a newborn - it would absolutely be 'Vicki Pollard' mothering to her.

The article speaks in favour of BF and enumerates the benefits. I just think it would be very wearing if we all had to promote BF in word and deed even whilst explaining why we might want to FF.

At the end of the day it's woman against woman, attacking parenting choices that are both perfectly valid.

Im horrified at that article.

I breastfed my first 2 daughters and i managed to separate myself from the ahem 'sexual' side of my breasts

Couldnt BF dd3 due to my milk never coming in. I was gutted.

Oh and my breasts are NOT hanging by my waist LOL.

Caught up with some mummy friends today, all have toddlers that they FF after a few weeks.

I was surprised when they told me how much pressure to BF they had from MWs etc. One of them who has just had a newborn had decided to give up (due to being on medication) and the MW thought she should carry on and actually grabbed breast and baby and reunited them

Having heard this, I'm understanding a but more why FF feel like the world is frowning on them. Previously I just couldn't understand it as it seemed like such a norm.

Also, my MWs etc didn't seem to be that focused on BF, I'm guessing now it was because it was clear that I was intending to do it anyway.

Having actually read the article now I am really curious to see what the response would have been to a non defensive version of it.
What would people think if she'd written an article about how she'd chosen to ff and loved it all the way without even mentioning bf? Would people still think it shouldn't be printed in M and B?
I would find that acceptable and bf-ers objecting to it unreasonable.

Pommedeterre

I would not object at all to an article promoting FF.... I Formula fed my dd3 and I wholly respect every individuals choice on how they feed their child, and for first time mums especially i think it is important that if they choose to FF then they know how to do it properly (i.e sterilising, making up a bottle) i just think that its very sad if people find it 'creepy' and cannot separate themselves from the sexual side of their breasts.

TikTok....

Im sorry to hear about small minded people making comments regarding your children - i had a similar experience when DD1 was a baby, she had severe Plagiocephally(sp?) and on many occasions i had strangers comment rather negatively on how she looked strange, or as one asked 'Is she deformed'?? because she had a very flat skull on one side of the back of her head, making the other side look very large in comparision. It saddens me that people can be so narrow minded and cruel

Mummyto2MonkeysAnd1Bug - Totally agree on the need for some info on ff for first time mums to avoid bad preparation and illness. I think the system promotes bf without proper support and ignores ff which can leave some people in the feeding wilderness.

I agree Re: FF info - I mix-fed DD (not through choice, she lost so much weight on BF alone ) - didn't have a clue how to make up SMA!

WRT a pro-FF-but-not-anti-BF article... hmmm. I really don't know! I wouldn't be so angry about it I suppose. But I wouldn't be totally fine with it either, I think. Hard to say without reading one of that ilk.

think its personal choice breast feeding or not... i bottle fed 1st child breast fed 2nd and 3rd... think its only womens opinion thats printed in mag and why shouldnt it be allowed we live in a free speaking country? bet in future issue they will have someone with other side of coin saying bad things about bottle feeding?

Having read the article it's worse than I thought it would be - and how can she get away with printing about the "supposed" health benefits of bm?
I was desperate to have a (wee) drink again once I'd had the baby, if I'd read that stuff about needing to ff in order to get "tipsy once in a while" it might have made me reconsider my decision to bf.

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/27/breastfeeding-is-creepy-outrage Article in today's Observer about the article and the debate it has sparked

As someone said elsewhere, it would have been better if she'd written an article talking about how bottlefeeding can also be a lovely bonding experience and how she was happy with her choice. Not a rant which offends both breastfeeding and bottlefeeding mums.