To feel annoyed trees were cut down to print this anti-breastfeeding article

[cherrymama]

In the latest edition of Mother and Baby magazine (I bought it for the free gift) the deputy editor has an article about breastfeeding. In it she says that she "couldn't be fagged" to breastfeed and that breastfeeding her newborn using breasts that had previously been used for sex would feel "creepy". And that even the health benefits of breastfeeding "wouldn't induce her to stick her nipple in her bawling baby's mouth."

I think her attitude is horrible! I understand many people try to breastfeed and don't manage, but to say that it is creepy is another thing.

I will not retract 'BF facism' until I stop coming across it. No one should be treated as a lesser mother because they take a bottle out of their bag and ask for warm water. In many cases it's driven by a feeling of superiority....a nice little club where you can sit around and criticise other people's choices. Get a life and go and do some volunteer work in an area where there are real threats to kid's health and well-being.

I don't really feel like making friends and singing kumbaya, much prefer a good and heated discussion.

ticktockclock are you not concerned about this article which seems to be making the suggestion that women who didn't breastfeed past 6 weeks secretly couldn't be fagged with it? Is that not insulting to you?

"BF is the ideal for baby, but so is parents with good mental health.
If BF is making you miserable, we live in a country with clean water.."

@DDDDixon; Good Call!!

ticktockclock - saying 'women feel like shit (because they are unhappy at formula feeding and feel criticised)' is not the same as people saying formula feeding mothers are 'shit'.

No one has said formula feeding mothers are 'shit' - they have said that breastfeeding promotion can 'make them feel shit'.

I think the difference is pretty clear, yes?

I do think formula feeding mothers can feel bad, and I am not in favour of that. However, I don't think there is any solution to be found in pretending there is no difference, or that formula feeding is without risks to health. Information can be shared, should be shared, in a grown up way, so people have the right information to make a decision on.

None of this is to say women should feel pressured, or deny their feelings. Feeding matters, but it is not the only thing (or even the most important thing) about parenting.

People in real life and on here say daft things - the 'positive mental attitude' to prevent CS in Dixon's post is an example.

So what happens to the babies who don't live in countries with clean water? Don't they matter?

desanimaux - still waiting for you to give me examples of 'scare tactics' used by bf supporters....

DDDixon - I agree.

Breast or bottle as long as baby healthy, happy and content.

"No-one should be treated as a lesser mother because they take a bottle out of their bag and ask for warm water. In many cases it's driven by a feeling of superiority."

@Desanimaux - Nail on head there I think with "superiority." !!

tiktok
Your baby will put on too much weight too quickly/be predisposed to obesity in later life.
No matter how carefully you sterilise you will be bound to make mistakes and your baby will suffer stomach upsets.
Your baby's immune system will not be as highly developed as one that has been BF.
Giving up BF shows a lack of moral fibre and staying-power on the part of the mother.
FF babies are less intelligent.
That kind of hurtful and untrue twaddle.....which has been said directly to me and people known to me.

noblegiraffe "are you not concerned about this article which seems to be making the suggestion that women who didn't breastfeed past 6 weeks secretly couldn't be fagged with it?"

Are you saying this is never the reason?

I can think of three of my friends who have openly said just that. And a fourth who has just stopped (at 2 months) because she wants to start shifting a bit of weight safely). And that's entirely a matter for themselves. But it's not for you to be suggesting that women who FF do it because they've had terrible problems with BFing. Some just don't want to do it. And others - plenty in fact - find it a complete faff and can't be bothered and do give up after a few weeks. FWIW I think a lot of them could have success with BFing if they had more support and put in a bit more effort. But if they don't want to and are happier FFing - that's their choice.

I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion and as I felt and still feel anyone with something negative to say about breastfeeding is made to feel selfish and unloving, an article such as this is needed. I did breastfeed for a while and hated every moment. I really resent the 'who can do it longest' competition and the constant 'breast is best' moto being shoved down my throat. Breastfeeding was an awful experience for me and ruined the first two months of my relationship with my baby and I strongly believe that the relationship will be forever effected by that time. I carried on too long because of the pressure from mid-wifes, other mothers etc, when if I had given up earlier my relationship with daughter would have improved much sooner. I wish the BF brigade would stop saying mothers have a choice as to whether they breastfeed or not but then look down on them when they choose not to.

@Animation
Just imagine if all those dreadful proles started to take notice of BF feeding advice and gave it a go. The BF lobby would have to find something else to chunner and sneer about!

"I wish the BF brigade would stop saying mothers have a choice as to whether they breastfeed or not."

Why don't they?

Don't much care for your use of the term "brigade". If someone on here said "the bottle brigade" they would get flamed.

Why oh why is it offensive to say I think A brand new baby rooting for it's mother's milk, instinctively knows where to get it, having a bottle put in it's mouth is weird? It is strange. It is a bf substitute not alternative.

I know far too many women who think BFing is perverse, icky, one even said 'unnatural'...ffs .

Exactly..substitute for breast milk, does what it says on the tin.

solongasitshealthy: No, I'm not saying that it's not ever the reason a woman gives up BF, but that ticktockclock clearly stated that she had medical issues that prompted her to FF despite trying hard to BF.

I know from reading threads on hear that many women who have to switch to FF feel very bad about it because they wanted to BF.

If I were in their position, an article that said 'I couldn't be arsed to breastfeed, and looking around me at all you other FF, I bet loads of you are with me...am I right?' would piss me off no end.

"I do think formula feeding mothers can feel bad, and I am not in favour of that. However, I don't think there is any solution to be found in pretending there is no difference, or that formula feeding is without risks to health. Information can be shared, should be shared, in a grown up way, so people have the right information to make a decision on." Wow that is so filled with contradiction. You don't want ff mothers to feel bad but ff is not without risks to health?? That is twaddle.

We live in an advanced an civilised society where formula milk has been created to help babies live. Thank goodness for this. Thank goodness science keeps advancing and developing in these ways.

E-coli is a natural bacteria in many people's bodies. Some people it attacks and can kill, shall we let it because it is 'natural' or should we do the best and right thing by pumping lab created drugs into the person to save their life?? The argument that natural is always best is not always a true one.

An excellent, sometimes essential substitute for breast milk. Interchangeable, unnoticeable, ideal substitute for breast milk! Let's match the progress of FF and BF children and I challenge anyone to tell the difference, all other factors being equal.

TCC....are you for real? You are comparing mother milk to E-coli because both are natural?

desperate argument.

desaminaum - you say you have been told "Your baby will put on too much weight too quickly/be predisposed to obesity in later life," and "No matter how carefully you sterilise you will be bound to make mistakes and your baby will suffer stomach upsets" and
"Your baby's immune system will not be as highly developed as one that has been BF".

I see what you mean. The information in these statements is evidence-based but of course it does not mean these will apply to every baby, and anyone actually using these words is behaving crassly, IMO.

"Giving up BF shows a lack of moral fibre and staying-power on the part of the mother." That's just plain ignorant, and rude.

"FF babies are less intelligent." Again, an evidence-based statement worded crassly and very liable to misinterpretation.

It would be good if the evidence mothers needed to have to make informed decisions was put across in a mature and non-threatening way. I have not heard anyone with training and insight use the wording you're reporting here, but of course there is no accounting for rude and insensitive behaviour anywhere.

i said a few of the same things when attempting to breastfeed my dd, it wasnt a pleasant experience and im my frustration i may have said it was a bit gross and had i not lugged the child around for 9 months already.

I think the author was trying to show that its ok to have this opinion, as we all know it can be an emotive topic.

Maybe she went a bit far with the whole 'boobs are just for sex' thing as most sensible women know their primary function is to lactate, am quite amused at the use of the word 'fumbags' also, didn't think anyone except pervy 50 yr old men with no teeth said that word

ticktockclock - but I did not say 'breastfeed because it's natural'! And bringing in e-coli to your argument is daft

I am making a plea for mature, honest information sharing. I don't want ff mothers to feel bad, but nor do I want the whole world to be so freakin sensitive we have to pretend that how babies are fed makes no difference to health.

You're suggesting, nay, demanding, that we have to pretend formula feeding and breastfeeding have the same outcomes, because people who formula feed might be upset at any other idea?

Honest information does not have to be judgemental; it does not have to criticise any individual mother; it does not have to threaten, pressurise or frighten.

tiktok
"evidence based"??? Not based on any evidence I've seen in the years DS has been growing up, thank goodness. Other factors need to be taken into consideration in these studies I feel.