to sometimes think that I am the most feminist person here?

[stubbornhubby]

I have been on MN for only a short time and I have to say it is fun I like it here.

but I do despair: I sometimes seem to be the most feminist person here! Almost every thread seems to have women willingly subjugating themselves to their "D" Hs Ps Cs and ILs. Washin and Ironin and Pickin Up, being treated terribly but 'deserving' it (and DH rarely means it), happily changing names, wearing rings, and doing what the vicar tells them.

Or AIBU?

I think he might be a man:

see this thread

He is a man. He was asking the other day where he could find bars in London where young women would target married men wearing wedding ringns.

If you are stil looking in stubbornhubby I would suggest Bill Bentleys in the City Bishopsgate. Just go in about 5.30 pm on a Friday and loudly order a bottle of Veuve Cliquot.

@Oblomov and rape statistics. You could know a woman very well - she could be your daughter or your sister even - and have no idea that she had been raped. Many women tell no one at all. Why not ask your 20 closest female friends whether they have any "friends" who have been raped?.....you might be surprised.

FWIW I think that Stubbornhubby, unusually, is making a serious point, and a valid one - oops, the epithet "unusual" refers to the seriousness and not the validity.

Yes, of course there are plenty of women (nearly all) on MN who profess to believe implicitly in equal rights and opportunities in marriage but are they walking the walk? It does seem to be accepted in many MN threads, without any awareness or reflection on the cognitive dissonance involved, that men and women are to be judged by different standards. I think that Stubbyhubby is just succinctly nudging us all to take a fresh look and take some time to consider if this might be true. I for one think it may be: I have always considered myself an out and out feminist (I am old enough to have missed out on the right to keep my job when I was pregnant with D1 and to have had no paid maternity leave and a measly statutory 10 weeks, I think it was, maternity leave with D2 and I am not THAT old) but I am suddenly aware that I am now a SAHM, effectively acting as a fulltime housekeeper, steadily losing my own identity and self respect having stepped off the career ladder to allow my DH to climb it himself. Let's not lose all we have fought for through complacency.

Finally had time to read all the responses.

Firstly - I did concede (above) that my original post was rather foolishly worded. Of course I don't think that I am really the 'most feminist' person on MN, but as many posters point out the whole concept of 'most feminist' is slightly meaninless anyway, I didn't think people would take that literally.

My post wasn't meant to be a boast or claim for myself - it was suppose to be lament, for the disappointing persistence on MN, and in RL - despite 100 years of feminism - of such continuing deference to men.

My post was a mistake because for a woman to agree with me creates a self-contradictory paradox. dittany you are quite right when you say that none should need "someone like stubbornhubby to point them in the right direction. Or if they do, they also have missed the point of feminism".

Some random points from reading the above

• I am a man. One poster assumed I was a woman and I called myself 'stubbornhubby' after my husband. I think that fact that that is plausible theory illustrates a point: women too often subsume their own identity into that of their husband and children. I don't think many men on the internet call themselves 'joesdad' or 'jillswife' or use a picture of their DC as their profile pic on facebook)

• I think a feminist vicar must find it VERY hard to work in an organisation that doesn't STILL doesn't fully accept the idea of women in senior management. It's like being a female associate-member of a men-only club. That's a valid way of life, but feminist it's not.

• I am not at all surprised that thread about feminism became a thread about rape. It's a very central issue (and I am ASTONISHED at the posters above confidently saying 'I don't know anyone who has been raped. You almost certainly do, you know)

Anyway, enough - i am off to bill bentleys for lunch
(a joke!)

lovely guy called hub2dee used to post here regularly. i miss him. dee occasionally posted too. and quite a lot of posters pop up temporarily styling themselves as mrwife'sname.

Oh crap. Another man coming on and telling us where we are all going wrong. Don't you just hate the men who think they understand feminism than women? Poor little wimmin who need a big strong intelligent bloke to explain it all to them.

Ugh Ugh Ugh

Darling, if you're as young as I think you are, I can tell you that some of us were insisting on the 'right' to go and study at 'hard' universities and work in 'hard' industries long before you threw your doll out of the pram and hugged a piece of meccano to your chest.

it all goes back to societal views which are propagated by the mechanary of patriachical society which came about through the capitalisation of society back in the day of the first tribe who settled and had property of their own and the need to know who their heirs were so they could inherit (for their replace with men)