to sometimes think that I am the most feminist person here?

[stubbornhubby]

I have been on MN for only a short time and I have to say it is fun I like it here.

but I do despair: I sometimes seem to be the most feminist person here! Almost every thread seems to have women willingly subjugating themselves to their "D" Hs Ps Cs and ILs. Washin and Ironin and Pickin Up, being treated terribly but 'deserving' it (and DH rarely means it), happily changing names, wearing rings, and doing what the vicar tells them.

Or AIBU?

Is that statistic correct that 1 in 4 women will be raped? That's an horrendous fact.

stubbornhubby no need to fetch your coat, but if you post something which you must have known would be a bit, well, controversial, then you kind of got the responses I would have expected don't you think? If you attack MNers, then, precisely because they are not all subjugated shrinking violets who haven't heard of feminism they are going to fight back!

As to the rest of this debate, I don't think things like rings and name changes are that important, each to their own (I changed names (this time) and wear a ring but I still feel totally equal in my marriage and that I have complete freedom to choose what I want to do) And for those people who are on here posting about how they are not in that kind of relationship, well again, that is what MN is for, so that they can receive some bloody good advice from other women (or men sometimes) and learn how to improve their lot / get the support they need change their lives - if they choose to do that. It is about empowerment, not everyone has the inner strength to break out that easily, even if they do aspire to be a feminist - albeit not the ballbreaking variety you may be!

Chuck are those stats right ? i had no idea. surely they are not right. 1 in 4 women, in the uk ?

No in UK it is 1 in 20 women will be raped
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2146077.stm

23 % of women experience sexual assault according to rape crisis and 21 % of girls experience some form of sexual assault. 5% of women will experince rape - sorry I put the wrong figure/ word in earlier however no one should experience sexual assault of any type

Nah. That would be dittany!

I know exactly how you feel

look here at the abuse comments I got when I made a similar 'complaint' about the relationship threads.

(I'm still a better feminist )

I don't agree that feminism should change the world...it's not really possible.

I consider myself a feminist, and my husband and I are a partnership...we both do our share of work with our children and in our home. Sometimes, we defer to each other, because we love and respect each other. I wear a wedding ring, and added his name to mine, but that doesn't make me feel like his property.

I am not changing the world, but I'm certainly independent, have my own mind, and have choices...I didn't get married because I had no other options, built (and am still building a career for myself), and stayed home with my children because I WANTED to.

It's all about options, I think.

And what's wrong if there are women who LIKE being taken care of? That's a choice, too...it's not a choice some of us would be happy with, but there are wonderful happy marriages where women choose to live their lives for their husbands...there isn't anything wrong with that, if it's a CHOICE.

Just because we're Wives and Mothers, doesn't make us subjugated or non Feminists.

I've always been a Feminist (what Woman wouldn't).

But... Feminism in the 80's/early 90's became a lot about mirroring a Man's behaviour.

And it continues.

Feminism is something I live. Day in Day out.

We now have girls rolling in the gutter, vomiting and trying to piss up trees.
Behaving like the worst man. Mimicking behaviour.

So when I got married (to a Man). I did not become responsible for anything domestic. It wasn't "my" job.

After I gave birth to my child. It wasn't "my " job.

So no OP you are not the most feminist on MN; some of us have lived it for 50 odd years.

i did not know that the figures were that high. i know 20 women. closely enough to know intimate details about them. and i don't think one has been rapes. in fact i don't know anyone who has been raped. had a male friend accused of rape, in what we all though was a vindictive act of revenge by the woman. crushed him. it was awful. trial found him not guilty. he still has counselling.

I've always been a feminist. As was my mother before me. And her parents before that. Her father was much struck by an experience in the RAF in WW2 - huge storm, plane attempting to land, very tricky approach, everyone on the base watching and keeping their fingers crossed.

Pilot managed a safe landing, everyone applauded and rushed to say 'well done'. When the pilot took off their helmet and goggles, it became clear it was a she. My grandfather told my mother at that point he realised there was nothing women couldn't do.

(Historical footnote - it was mainly women who flew planes from the factory to the bases, as most male pilots were needed in battle, or training if too old.)

Oblomov - as far as I'm aware I don't know anyone IRL who has been raped. But there probably are some who just don't talk about it. My sister doesn't go broadcasting the assault she experienced to all and sundry.

Actually just remembered friend of my sister's was raped. Still on antidepressants years later. But has never had the support she actually needs from the NHS or any service. (Not that you can calculate how these things affect people but this was a horror story stranger gang rape with lengthy prison sentences for the perpetrators - yet the lack of support from family, friends, employers, psychiatrists and all is unbelievable. And she's a nurse in a mental health trust, you'd think at least they'd look after their own.)

There was a thread on here once when an awful lot of regular MNers had, sadly, stories to recount of assault or rape.

I don't wish to be dismissive of anyone who has been raped, but I'm always a bit at statistics like these.

1 in 4 of us will die of cancer, and another 1 in 4 of heart disease, (not leaving much room for anything else is it?)

And I can never quite get my head around 1 in 10 people being gay, either. In my personal experience it tends to be one in a couple of hundred! I know I live in a cosy suburban heterosexual bubble, and I frequent places largely monopolised by hetero-couples and their children, but even so, for the 1 in 10 thing to be correct there would have to be whole towns and cities across the UK where everyone was gay, to make up the numbers based on the measly few I know of!

Have you been to Brighton, Fellatio?

Actually I suspect even more gay people live in cities than average, because you are more likely to find acceptance or anonymity in a city, or other people like you. Much more so than if you stay in, I dunno, Barnsley or Little Piddling on the Wold. (Been 20 years since I lived anywhere near Barnsley mind, for all I know it could be a shining beacon for gay rights now. Although I doubt it.)

How did a Feminism thread become about rape ?

As a "Feminist" I have been subject to a rape attack; but it's hardly relevent here surely ?

The OP asked if She was the most feminist poster here.

That in itself, I find sad.

There are no "badges" for being most "feminist"; unless you were a Suffragete and fling yourself under a horse.

Feminism is about the life you lead; that you're happy about.
Feminism is about being a Woman.

It takes many shapes and forms. It's as individual as any single Woman.

What tears my heart out is woman mimicking men. It's become "normal";

I was going to say that about cities but I thought I'd just get bombarded with comments about making stereotypical assumptions that gay people are all hedonistic party animals -plus I do know about Brighton, and I believe places like Exeter and Taunton (???) do a roaring trade in gayness as well, so kind of blew my own argument out of the water.

Anyway, I still don't believe it's one in ten.

Although if Radio 2 is a good indicator of British society as a whole, then perhaps it's one in three. Just lately they've gone a bit gay-mad with Graham Norton, Alan Carr, Paul O'Grady, John Barrowman, never a day away from a gay on there!

Disclaimer: That was a joke by the way. I am not generally in the habit of saying 'a gay' to describe anyone.

The 1 in 10 people is gay statistic doesn't stack up for me either..... I went to two schools and there were over a hundred in my year in both of them. 20 odd years on, loads of re-connecting on face book, went to one of the reunions and the gossip is rife....... between the 300 odd pupils from both schools about 6 are gay, and actually I can only think of 4, I'm rounding it up to six to be fair!

"Feminism is about the life you lead; that you're happy about.
Feminism is about being a Woman.

It takes many shapes and forms. It's as individual as any single Woman."

I'm really sorry - but it isn't. Feminism isn't just about making personal choices - it's about making choices that are good for women in general and which do not perpetuate a misogynist world view.

Agree with seeker on that one.

Yes, but if the life you lead presents an image that doesn't perpetuate misogyny, then it is individual to each women, and it can look different depending on who you are, and the 'battle' you may be fighting.

Some fight so that women in other countries can live better, safer lives. Some of us choose to be role models for our daughters, so that they are confident, independent women, who don't perpetuate a misogynist world view. Some work with women in their own communities...the list is endless.
Every woman, individually, can present feminism in a very individual way.

Yes, agree here, I think it's ludicrous of women to work in the sex industry and use feminism to defend their choice!!!!

They're doing nothing good for women. Perpetuation men's view of women.

I am not talking about prostitutes strung out on heroin btw. I'm talking about lap dancers and page 3 models and porn actresses who are making a good living and have chosen to prioritise that over women's good.