The OFFICIAL buddy bench/naughty bench thread No. 2

[teaandcakeplease]

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who enter the Gazebo and sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from ApocalypseCheese, CheerfulYank, Anyfucker, HairExtensions, gomummy, tired mum and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up !

I don't do apologies. I only accept them

Haha ya nutter,

it would be great if you could sort it out so you can just be you again

Hey Spikey, welcome back. LOL at only accepting apologies!

How ya doin' tonight Tiredmum?

Where is HE these days? It has been a long time since we've heard from her?

Well gomummy i am exhausted really, cant walk to far at mo, but i hate just doing nothing.

so i am still resting at mo and lurking round mn as much as pos.

and did a few jigsaws on the computer last night to keep my brain going

hows things over there?

not sure bout HE, i am sure she will be back

Ok, it's virtual, but does that help a little Tiredmum? :)

Things are good here, starting fall harvest time, so busy, but good.

It has been a really long time actually since we've seen HE. Hope all is ok.

Are you ok Tiredmum?

Anything I can do? I don't live that far from you, just a short trip up the A1?

Hot chocolate sounds yum, can I have one GoMummy?

Aww ta tea, i will be ok [hopeful emoticon]

if i need ya, i will let you know

ooo pass me some of that hot choccy,

And yes gomummy it helps alot, thanks.

harvest time, that sounds lovely

Hello , How is everyone doing today ?
Oh Tiredmum, Hope you are feeling better soon x

:) Of course!

Harvest time is my favourite time of year, I am in my element in autumn. Baking and preparing for winter with the house smelling delicious and the leaves starting to turn colour. Waiting for the first frost for the apples. Hard to believe I am making fires at night already when it was only a couple of weeks ago that I was of folks with central air conditioning though!

Oooh Elmo, thanks for the pastry treats! Now I have enough caffeine to start the day!

Of course autumn is my favorite too, gomummy. There's that shared DNA again! :)

Hello, tiredmum! (Gives blankets a pat) Hope you're feeling ok!

mmmm, cocoa and pastries! Can't indulge in those in RL as have just best a friend $100 to see who can lose the most weight in 9 weeks...I need your support, Benchers! :)

Bet a friend, I mean. Oh and hello to Tea of course! Tea, once you're dating a hunky pilot he can just fly you and DC in his own plane up to see exPIL...or would that not be very "adult"? I'm feeling snarky today. :)

I could do with that kinda bet myself.

Oooo this blanket is great. My hot choccy has been finished though

I'm so bored being a lone parent at night once the DCs are in bed. It's demoralising sometimes... Need to find that hunky pilot asap for me

In my ideal world the in laws would've remained nearby and I could have arranged for DCs to see them every 4-6 weeks for a few hours. MIL is a very bitter/ angry woman and not easy company. So staying with her for 7 days would not be relaxing. She's a bit Jekyll and Hyde tbh one minute she seems ok, the next she's criticising everyone and trying to pick a fight. Big chip on her shoulder Not fun and the way she treats her H is awful. No respect for him at all. I really don't want my DCs to witness that kind of behaviour or relationship. However I realise I can't avoid going up sometimes to see them, however I do want it to be on my terms when the kids are older and easier to manage on a long drive. IYSWIM?

Yes, definitely! That sounds like a rough situation, Tea. I wish I had loads of money and could come keep you company for awhile. Not, of course, in the same way a hunky pilot would keep you company but you know! :)

Thanks for the cheering on, I will keep everyone appraised of my progress. If I don't win my husband's going to be suprememly irritated as we don't have money to toss around right now.

Ooh, have just found the "say a nice thing about a mumsnetter thread" and have mentioned you all. :)

Go Cheerful Go! :) You are mentioned much further up on that nice thread as my long lost fraternal twin separated at birth...

Another vote for the hunky pilot. Would he come and pick Cheerful and I up and bring us over? We'll pop over and surprise Tiredmum when you and pilot want some alone time.

You are so much nicer than I am Tea, I would not be considering that long drive with young children, period. And I live in a land where everything is a long drive! Just sounds like they are more than able to make the trip and would be much easier for them...sounds like your MIL wants to be quite controlling actually. I admire your patience and tolerance for the whole thing!

I've run out of Patience, it's kept me awake at night lately, imagining what I will say to them, next time they bring it up (which they will) and knowing full well this time I may blow my top

I like to think the big man upstairs will find me another man, when I'm ready. Still got a lot of healing left to do first alas.

Might be the best thing in the end if you did, Tea, they need to "get it" and stop pushing you. It's really inconsiderate of them to say the least.

I'm sure he will send you one when the time comes, Tea, a wonderful one who deserves your kind and caring nature. Cheerful and I will simply have to save up for his pilot lessons until then.

I'm just worried that I'll never fully get over all the lies my H told me, he lied our entire marriage about pointless things too. All came out after separation. So trust issues right now. I do not want to take all this baggage into my next relationship. I want to be free.

Must go to bed it's 23:40 here

Time helps Tea, though I'm sure my saying that doesn't help at all right now. I do think that maybe it's the only thing that helps though.

I won't say that I don't have baggage from my first marriage as I don't know that it can ever entirely go away (I think experiences become part of who you are, if that makes sense?), but at least now I recognize when something I'm feeling/thinking is as a result of that baggage and catch myself, iykwim?

You've been married before? I didn't know that.

Good morning

Tea , when the time is right then you will meet a lovely man that will adore you & your beautiful dc's .
Myself , gomummy , cheerful & tiredmum will vet him for you if you like

I was thinking of you all yesterday while i was out . I had a dilemma about ds that made me become very PFB tbh & i kept thinking what would my bench buddies do in this situation

morning ladies, hope your all alright? What you got planned for this bank holiday x

what happened with your son elmo?

cheeky i intend to relax and watch as much tv as possible

what you doin?

cheerful good luck, you can do it, what would you do with your winnings?

thanks for virtually looking after me gomummy, you are the best

hope you are ok tea

Its a very long story Tiredmum , so put your feet up lol

Ds's best friend(lets call him x) moved away in march , i never got to know x's parents as the mum worked nights & slept during the day & the father worked days iyswim. X is the eldest child (turned 11yrs last week) so minded his younger siblings they often ate meals at my house etc (they are a foreign family & moved from a war torn country to here 8yrs ago) Anyway there has been times in the past that the dad has left them outdoors until 11pm at night in the winter while he dropped the mother into work at 8pm & on these occasions i took the children into my house out of worry for their safety tbh . Anyway since they have moved ds has been very :( & missed x so when x knocked in 3 weeks ago ds was thrilled . I gave x's mum my phone numbers as she had said x's birthday was coming up & could she take ds out . I said yes ds would love that etc . So last week x knocked in again for a few Min's to ds & they went out to play & then ds came back in & said "x's mum has told me to tell you that she would pick me up at the shop car park between 1-2pm on Friday to go to the cinema "
Now she never phoned me to check if this was suitable or not(we actually had a meal at a restaurant booked & had to cancel & we have no address , phone numbers, surname of this family etc .
DH & i told ds there was no way he was allowed to hang around a shop car park for an hour waiting to be picked up . Ds was very annoyed at us . Anyway x's mum knocked up to our house at 2.50pm & when i asked her for her mobile number she laughed at me & told me to stop worrying & gave her a pen & paper & again asked her to give me her number just in case of an emergency , so she did . we put credit into ds's phone & told him to phone us the minute the film was over & we would pick him up .
So off they all went . 5 minutes later dh dd & i decided to go shopping & we ended up passing ds who was walking by a main road with x while x's mum was struggling to keep hold of her youngest dc way behind ds . Dh pulled in & offered them all a lift but
there's no way they would have all fitted in our small car anyway & x's mum said she would wait at the next bus stop & get a bus the rest of the way . (i was in a panic tbh)
so not wanting to embarrass ds we left after warning him to stay by x's mums side .
once in the car i phoned ds's mobile & stayed talking to him until he reached the cinema , which he ended up walking to.

When i was on my way to pick ds up x's mum rang me to say that she was taking the dc's to McDonald's & then would walk ds home at this stage i was outside of the cinema parking the car & went inside to have a chat with her etc . I thanked her for taking ds out etc & said that ds had to come home with me now as it was 6.30pm & i did not want him to walk home on a main road in the dark in just a t-shirt . She said that her kids would not eat at McDonald's without ds there i laughed & said im sure they will cope , but she then continued to argue the toss with me & said that i would ruin her ds's birthday if i took my ds home (x's birthday was last week) . I asked ds would he like to come home with me & thankfully ds said yes as he had a headache so that was that & just as we all said goodbye & arranging that in October i would take all the children out to the cinema , X's mum turned to her ds & said " sorry x i tried to let you have a good day out but elmofan will not let me take her ds anywhere else today"
I was a bit fed up tbh at her not even phoning me to make any arrangements in the first place .
I know this all sounds very PFB of me & reckon if i put this in AIBU I'd be flamed .

Yes Tea, was married in my late teens. I was young and naieve. He was neither. Took me a while to deal with afterwards, but now am wholeheartedly so glad it ended when it did as I never would have found my wonderful DH or had DS otherwise.

Elmo I'm terribly PFB on occasion, but happy to be that way, so probably not the best person to ask, lol! Hope everything is ok with your DS though...

Cheeky long time no chat, hope things are well with you. We're off to a local "children's day" for the day today, but am of Tiredmum's plans!

LOL - xpost Elmo! We're both fluffing Tiredmum's pillow!