to want to bag up my children and dump them in the river?

[Greensleeves]

they have had a lovely day today - a friend over all day, a water fight with water bombs and water pistols followed by fluffy dressing gowns and hot pizza, played on the Wii with their friend, then watched the world cup and had treats (choc chip muffins and pringles ) to munch during the game

for some reason they have behaved atrociously for the past hour and a half

ds1 was so rude and disrespectful we told him he needed to be quiet so we could watch the football, or take himself off to bed - several warnings

he snarled "Oh FINE I'm off to bed then" to which we replied "Night then, don't forget to brush your teeth"

when he realised we weren't going to invite him back down again he threw an enormous screaming tantrum and unrolled all the toilet rolls down the stairs

ds2 then went to bed and jumped on the top bunk (which he has been warned about endlessly) and has broken it, so he is sleeping on the floor

they are both crying and wailing and ds1 is still being rude as well

ds2 is supposed to be going on a jud course tomorrow morning, neither of us want to bloody well get up early and take him now

I am upset and furious

and dh is ashen and silent again, I know he feels rotten because he lost it and screamed at them when he saw the toilet rolls

we are shit parents, aren;t we?

"obviously a joke and therefore not offensive"
That's a bit of a nonsensical argument though. The likes of R. Chubby Brown, J. Davidson, B. Manning and co have made lucrative careers out of telling gleefully offensive jokes.

This is a bit of a silly discussion - it's surely possible to recognise that Greensleeves clearly isn't planning to murder her children whilst also acknowledging that it's a bit of an odd thing to say. Everyone's got their limits - I doubt many here would laugh at a rape joke, for example. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with their sense of humour.

mamasparkle - you're new aren't you? Have a fruit shoot.

Would you be able dismiss jokes about paedophilia as easily.
Some things just aren't funny

Would you be able dismiss jokes about paedophilia as easily.
Some things just aren't funny

Hang on, haven't all three of you already said earlier on that you don't think it's funny?

Did you think that if you came back and posted the same thing again, one after another, that it would create the impression of more opposition?

How bizarre

My mum always told us to go and play on the M1 ... thread title made me laugh

Lol @ Annie
i have been a bitch mother from hell today and both my kids and their dad would like to bag me up and dunk me! I actually turned off the tv and made the lot of them work!

< Going over old ground >

Bitchy?

I was trying to be supportive.

Failed horribly, obviously, but I'm glad you had a good day today.

sorry TnOg, genuinely

I couldn't work out whether you were being nice, or saying I had an overly high opinion of myself

sorry!

That's ok.

i think greeny was feeling a bit sensitive, tnog, i didn't think you were being bitchy!

tell you what greeny i will just answer all posts on your behalf then you would not have this trouble with offending people

to the people who don't find it funny - greeny has a very distinctive posting style - when i saw this title there was only one person on MN it could possibly be
you may not share her sense of humour - it is a bit grim for me sometimes - but it is part of her way of coping with life's little vagaries, and to bang on and on about this title is a bit daft i think and smacks of seeing a chance to put the boot in, in some cases

i must say i think the title is a small masterpiece of black comedy
not "to put them in a bag" but "to bag them up"
like jumble, or peas or something - it sounds so domestic

Tssk kooky you take away all the magic when you supply literary notes for my thread titles

"a bit grim" is well put, I think

I threaten to eviscerate my children. And my students in fact, when they are late with homework. Am rather hoping I don't teach the children of some of the posters on here...

If my children hurt themselves, I say "oh no, shall I amputate?"

I am unperturbed by the thread title.

Why are people comparing this to jokes about rape and paedophilia? That's a wee bit alarmist, no?

I'm going to ruin the joke now by explaining to the cats bum faces: it is funny because there is no way on this earth that the OP had any intention of harming her children in any way whatsoever for the love of God. It is also funny because it is a bit wrong/ risqué/ mischevious etc.

Also, I didn't recognise (soz) the OP at all so nothing to do with favouritism.

Anyway, doesn't everyone say slightly sick and wrong things for comic effect amongst friends?

I make jokes about paedophilia and laugh at those made by others.
Sometimes humour is the only way to deal with the worst stuff of life. Twas always thus.

Oh, and I vote for a SMUG emoticon with little halo and everything, too.

"Why are people comparing this to jokes about rape and paedophilia?"

We-eell, personally speaking I don't think it's alarmist to use a rape joke as an example when discussing a joke about drowning your children! I mean... right?! But, be that as it may, I don't find Greensleeves' post title offensive, and I don't need it to be explained as if I am a bit simple, I just found it a bit odd. My point is that none of us get to dictate what other people should or shouldn't find offensive. It's a personal boundaries thing.

no greeny sorry but i am thinking of publishing a little pamphlet on your thread titles
it could be a kind of pass notes for the uninitiated, and also contain some deeper analysis with ref to Freudian theory, etc

if it is well received i may work it up into a PhD

mamasparkle - you're new aren't you? Have a fruit shoot.

I presume that's some sort of mumsnet insult!

yes but EmmaBemma your posts have been quite rational and polite IIRC
you shouldn't be allowed to complain about the title unless you sound like a joyless spittle flecked person
you're not doing us any favours here

'I think it is because I am terified of creating bad memories for them, I want their lives to be full of sunshine and love and hilarity, but I also want them to behave like human beings at least part of the time' - haven't read the whole thread, but don't children need practice in dealing with negative emotions as well? (especially while they are still young enough to be parented in a hands-on way by us so that we can help them deal with them?).

Having carried out the appropriate risk assessment as previously flagged up by fuzzypicklehead, I should like to add the following to ensure satisfactory dunking:

The depth of the river (d) should be no less than 1.5X height of proposed dunkee(h)

drop from riverbank to surface of water should be no greater than .16 x h to discourage dunking from bridges

DH is 5'11". Can I use your river?

I have my own bag.

anyone who really thinks the title is unacceptable is at liberty to report it to HQ who will duly delete it

or hide it

but I think some posters relish the opportunity to score a point

but if you are really offended, rather than just picking at some scab of a persecution complex, then do report it - it's served its purpose for me