to want to bag up my children and dump them in the river?

[Greensleeves]

they have had a lovely day today - a friend over all day, a water fight with water bombs and water pistols followed by fluffy dressing gowns and hot pizza, played on the Wii with their friend, then watched the world cup and had treats (choc chip muffins and pringles ) to munch during the game

for some reason they have behaved atrociously for the past hour and a half

ds1 was so rude and disrespectful we told him he needed to be quiet so we could watch the football, or take himself off to bed - several warnings

he snarled "Oh FINE I'm off to bed then" to which we replied "Night then, don't forget to brush your teeth"

when he realised we weren't going to invite him back down again he threw an enormous screaming tantrum and unrolled all the toilet rolls down the stairs

ds2 then went to bed and jumped on the top bunk (which he has been warned about endlessly) and has broken it, so he is sleeping on the floor

they are both crying and wailing and ds1 is still being rude as well

ds2 is supposed to be going on a jud course tomorrow morning, neither of us want to bloody well get up early and take him now

I am upset and furious

and dh is ashen and silent again, I know he feels rotten because he lost it and screamed at them when he saw the toilet rolls

we are shit parents, aren;t we?

google? what are you talking about?

luckily most people had the brains to see my stupid, stupid thread title and offer constructive comment

Posters do not need many 'brains' to see a thread title, my dear, any thread title and
offer constructive comments...

@ greenie being pals with google!

How did you meet? Do you think google would be my mate too?

I love the thread title!!! I feel this fairly often about my kids..... especially at 4.45am this morning when DS decided he was up for the day, would have been so bad, but I didnt go to sleep til 2.15am!

FWIW Greeny, I think you did what any one of us would have done in the situation. Im pleased all is sorted this morning and things are back on an even keel.

You are NOT a shite mum, and your kids will not hate you!

Hope today is relatively stress free x

god i can't believe this thread!!!

obv the title is an exaggeration and i can't believe you've been made to justify every little decision.

sounds to me like you're a great parent. they'll remember these special days and they won't remember their tantrums.

Is there room in the bag for ds?

Am I the only one whose mum used to tell to go and play with the traffic?

Maybe I need therapy

This is so normal. I remember when ds was still a baby meeting some friends with slighly older children at a fair.

My friend's children were obviously excited and happy for the whole visit. When it came time to leave we had tantrums and teasr.

Their dad commented that sometimes he wondered if it was easier to keep the children in low grade misery all day rather than do the happy and fun stuff that invariably led to tears and tantrums when they were over. It was a joke but dh and I have remembered it and when ds does this sort of thing we sometime look at each other and wryly say "we should have chosen the low grade misery option"

Of course we don't really mean it but it helps us to remember that this is oretty normal (though at the time it can feel like ds is very ungrateful and that we are terrible parents) and the slight humour helps keep things in perspective.

I know you don't do much routine etc but you still have a rhythem to your days that your children are used ti. The day you describe sounds fun but you know, even on a fun day we are allowed to feel sad, fed-up, bored or whatever.

Breaking the bed and the loo roll stuff was of course not OK but the rest of the day sounds great. Focus on that and try to laugh about the rest ( in retrospect of course - not easy to laugh at the time)

sorry, i had to go and clear out my wardrobe (this is not a euphemism although it may sound like one)

the games sound lovely, especially the lucky dip from last year
one thing i did once was to put lots of 'forfeits' in a bag - just slips of paper and they each had a challenge on
eg do a star jump
point to something red
make a noise like a chicken

each child had to draw as many slips as their age
if they didn't like one of them / couldn't do it, they could just draw again
when they had finished they got a small prize (this could be the bubbles)

other games we like are grandmothers footsteps, what's the time mr wolf, etc
or you could do a musical one with a tambourine - when you shake the tambourine they wiggle about - when you bang it they jump - when you stop they sit down

or that beans game where they have to do jumping beans, jelly beans, runner beans etc
any good?

this rollmops person
did you say she follows you about spouting this sort of drivel greeny? you do attract the most interesting stalkers

oh for the lucky dip - how about a little pack of craft things - just a tiny one in a bag - with maybe some beads or some pretty pieces to stick on a card - you could buy a pack of blank cards, and some packs of sequins or similar, and divide them up?

Chortling away at the thread title, cannot conceive of being offended by it. Unless you know someone that did this.

Everyone's said all the useful stuff already. Will just add that you aren't your parents and your own family sounds lovely.

I know that feeling of it's all going wrong/ I'm so shit/am ruining their lives etc. I use some calming down techniques I learnt to help with anxiety. It's good shit, man. Have details if you're interested, won't bore you with them now in case you're not though.

The thread title is sick, of course we know you don't mean it but there are something's you just don't say even in fun.
'Throw them in the river' wouldn't have worried me but 'bag them up and dump them in the river' just seems a bit too graphic.

Eh. I think the title is a bit, I dunno. A bit ick. Obviously it's not a serious statement of intent, but I'd feel the same if it said "AIBU to want to stab my children to death" - juxtaposition of much loved offspring with scary brutal image makes me feel a bit squirmy.

hope todays been a better day greeny?

Oh greny, I didn't see this yesterday but I had had much the same day, lovely day out on community farm, lots of animals to terrorise meet, game,s face painting, outdoor painting/crafting chalking. great day.

Within half an hour o getting them home I wanted to run away.

I have told DD1 I am going to lock her ina cupboard uintil she can behave that if I shout she tells me I am going in a cupboard until I can be 'less mean'

Sense of humour? Get one? Take poker out of arse? Greeny, dc's are always little horrors when they've been overstimulated by a lovely day out, it's normal, you're not a shit parent, and you have a great sense of humour.

Honestly. One cannot just go around willy nilly, dumping one's offspring into Britain's waterways whenever the going gets a little bit tough.

Firstly, there are risk assessments to be conducted as to the effects of said excursions on local waterfowl. One must ensure that the bag to be used is re-usable, biodegradeable, dolphin friendly and preferably in a relatively open fairtrade hemp-based weave.

The children in question must have all appropriate vaccinations, shower, and refrain from eating for at least 1 hour prior to immersion. Adult supervision must be present at a ratio of 1 adult to every child under the age of four. Armbands and life-vests must be worn and children must leave the water immediately upon the lifeguard's request. No dunking, diving or running on the waterside will be tolerated.
Competitive child-dumping for the purpose of gambling is unlawful, unless the event is registered in advance with a licensed bookmaker.

Provided all of the above conditions are satisfied, then YANBU. Heave ho!

god I love you lot

things are MUCH better here, thanks all - just got back from ds2's Judo tournament and both boys are trying really hard and being delightful

kooky who knows what makes people tick - still, one born every minute

ROFL fuzzy

jolly good fuzzy

and pmsl at "low grade misery"

perhaps that is the way forward

re: "low grade misery" (great phrase)

we have the one activity a day rule
eg if you are on holiday or a day out you must only attempt ONE major activity per 24 hours
any deviation will almost certainly end in screaming / crying / bog roll chucking

it sounds like you attempted about 3 or possibly 4 major activities yesterday (not sure whether eating pizza in a dressing gown counts or not)
anyway, the God of Activities is very cross with you and has broken your bunk bed as a reprimand

Someone actually reported the thread title?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH! Mumsnet is turning into Netmums!

How utterly, utterly tragic.

Once upon a time, we all know how to have a laugh around here, and could express ourselves freely like grown adults.

FFS! If you don't like a thread title, don't open it. Run back to Netmums or Babycentre and talk to each other in nice friendly happy artificial ways that have fuck all to do with real life and true emotion.

There are always posters bleating on about how Mumsnet's not like it was in the 'good old days', but today, for the first time, I know exactly what they mean and I'm frightened for our future.

This is the one and only parenting forum where people are free to speak to each other openly, honestly and as they truly are. It would be a sad, sad day if that's no longer the case and we all have to start tiptoeing around and censoring ourselves and each other.