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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is very lazy?

132 replies

SoLongAsItsHealthy · 09/06/2010 11:37

Just received a "thank you card" from a new baby we recently sent a gift to. It was a photo made into a postcard and printed under the image was the line:

"Just wanted to say, thank you for my gift!"

Presumably they ran off a few dozen copies and job done.

AIBU to think this is very crass and that the parents could have penned a couple of sentences at least, referring to the gifts in question? I went to loads of trouble with what I bought and was looking forward to hearing what they thought of it. However, even if I had only spent a fiver on a rattle I would still expect a little personal note.

I almost think no card at all would have been better than this...

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 09/06/2010 11:40

doubt they have time

biddysmama · 09/06/2010 11:41

wow.... do you have children? i ddnt even have time to get dressed when mine were newborn...

pinkmagic1 · 09/06/2010 11:44

I didn't even have time to do what they did, just thanked the individual on receipt of the gift or thanked them when I next happened to see them. I think you need to get a grip!

nickelbabe · 09/06/2010 11:44

i think it's fine - it's better to have acknowledged the gift in a lazy way (due to the extreme lack of time that the NEW parents will have, than to wait until the child is 5 and the parents have more time to pen a beautiful note saying thank you for your exact present.

oh, i think i mean YADBU

SPBHatesFootball · 09/06/2010 11:45

yabvu sorry

minipie · 09/06/2010 11:46

YADBU.

But then, if I'm honest, I've never seen the need for thank you letters of any sort - as long as someone says thank you at the time, that's enough for me.

herbietea · 09/06/2010 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FiveGoMadInDorset · 09/06/2010 11:47

YABU

biddysmama · 09/06/2010 11:48

lol at writing a letter when the child is 5.... i have an 8 year old, i might get him to do the thankyou letters when the baby comes

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/06/2010 11:49

YABU. Like others have said, lack of time means convenience rules. I understand your dismay, I've spent hours tracking down fantastic presents and felt a bit at the throwaway thanks in return, however, you did get thanked.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 09/06/2010 11:49

YAB insane! I give gifts to people with newborns on the condition that they don't send any kind of card. They have better things to do with their time.

Original poster
SoLongAsItsHealthy · 09/06/2010 11:50

Yes, I do biddy! A rather new baby actually and I am writing his thank you cards little by little, a couple a day until they are done. I write a personal note to the sender. People have been so kind, supportive and generous to us and I believe manners matter more than a few extra minutes sleep for me.

Some women have no time to get dressed with a newborn in the house but others have lots of time. The mother in question is already an active member of her local NCT group and seems to have adjusted really well to motherhood - which is wonderful. Her LO is certainly giving her time to get dressed and plenty more besides so why not spare 5 mins to show your appreciation to your friends and family?

Different priorities I expect.

OP posts:
ILoveFrogs · 09/06/2010 11:50

YABU

I did this when DS was born, he was in hospital for a long time, when DS got out we had all the usual baby stuff to do as well as take him up to the hospital to get dressings changes and get check ups etc. I honestly couldn't tell you who half the presents we got were from. Oh and actually it was my dad who made and printed the thank you cards. Even if all that didn't happen, I very much doubt I would have had time to personalise each one anyway, actually I probably wouldn't have sent any, whats wrong with thanking the person to their face?

oliviacrumble · 09/06/2010 11:51

YABU and a bit self-obsessed.

They may not even remember what gift you got them (due to the craziness that is life with a new baby), let alone have had time to formulate a few well-chosen sentences to let you know what they thought of your gift.

Do you have children, or do you just not remamber what life was like with a new-born?

tightwad · 09/06/2010 11:51

yabvvvVu

Jeez, i was in such a mess when i gave birth when i took my scunchy out of my hair...my hair stayed in place...exsactly as it was so had me thinking....when did i actually wash it last, come to that, when did i eat anything last?

You are very demanding and unreasonable to expect more, should not have bothered with a gift as your expectations are WAY to high.

Missus84 · 09/06/2010 11:53

I think it was very sweet of them to send a thankyou at all! They probably got loads of presents and I doubt setting aside a couple of hours to pen hand written thank you notes is top of their list of priorities at the moment.

Species8472 · 09/06/2010 11:54

YABU. Not everyone has the time or energy to send out a hand-written note when they have a newbon to deal with. You did get a thank you. They're not ungrateful at all.

It would have taken more organisational skills than I had after having my DC to get photo, print stuff off etc. I did hand-write notes but it took a looong time to get them all done....

oliviacrumble · 09/06/2010 11:54

Sorry, have just seen your post.

"Manners matter more than a few extra minutes sleep for me". Now you really sound a bit em, unusual...

Are you this relaxed about everything?

tightwad · 09/06/2010 11:54

sorry solong, x posts, i think that you hit the nail on the head about priorities bieng different for each of us. Its nice that you take such care to reply and appreciate kindness from those around you. Genuinely nice, but i still dont think that your friend is bieng lazy, just practical.

Original poster
SoLongAsItsHealthy · 09/06/2010 11:55

I have just told you that I have a newborn of a similar age and I have managed it. As have lots of my other friends with babies.

And I have also told you that the woman in question is doing very well with a very lovely, placid, sleepy baby who popped out in the blink of an eye. She has a certain degree of fog that we all experience but she is not in a bad way at all.

However, based on this survey, it seems no-one appreciated my cards so I think next time I might do this too - it would certainly give me back a few hours of my life!

OP posts:
Morloth · 09/06/2010 11:55

You English types are obsessed with thank cards/letters.

It isn't healthy you know.

SPBHatesFootball · 09/06/2010 11:55

I did hand write the TY cards and fairly quickly. But my priority was my baby and MN. I think most people get that.

SagacityNell · 09/06/2010 11:55

YABU and a little "hey look at what i can do with a newborn baby" too.

You got a thank you - why was that not enough?

Bunnyjo · 09/06/2010 11:56

I agree with biddysmama

I am that you consider their 'thank you' card is lazy!

YAB amazingly U!

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 09/06/2010 11:58

My bil & sil have done this for my new nephews arrival. I think it's a fantastic idea! Everyone gets a picture of the new baby, as well as a thankyou.

My mum sent them a small gift (she's no relation to them- it's dh's sis) and as she doesn't live near us and will probably never see the baby, she was very grateful at being sent a picture.