To think this is very lazy?

[SoLongAsItsHealthy]

Just received a "thank you card" from a new baby we recently sent a gift to. It was a photo made into a postcard and printed under the image was the line:

"Just wanted to say, thank you for my gift!"

Presumably they ran off a few dozen copies and job done.

AIBU to think this is very crass and that the parents could have penned a couple of sentences at least, referring to the gifts in question? I went to loads of trouble with what I bought and was looking forward to hearing what they thought of it. However, even if I had only spent a fiver on a rattle I would still expect a little personal note.

I almost think no card at all would have been better than this...

but did you hand deliver or post?

and did you use a proper fountain pen or a biro??

It's not that no one would have appreciated the cards you sent, it's that there aren't many people who would expect or care whether a new mother (or father) sent a personalised, hand written thank you card in response to a gift given at what most people recognise is the hardest time of their life.

Sagacity I wasn't being a show-off at all! I just always assumed it was the done thing. I have never received something like this before. Other friend and family who've had babies have always written personal cards so it's what I have come to expect.

I can assure you I am not at all showy-offy about babies - I had a horrendous delivery, was in hospital for a week and am sitting her in my underwear with no plans for the day whatsoever! The thank-you cards were about nothing other than saying a heartfelt thank you. And, ok, shwing off a cute little picture of my baby

I think it's a bloody brilliant idea.
And I doubt it was "in a blink of an eye" for your friend!

You said it yourself - Different priorities.

Her priorities include getting involved with her NCT group. Your priority is personalised thank you cards.

My DD3 was born not long after Christmas (3 weeks) - I managed to get all the Christmas Thank You letter out before the baby was born.

We had similar printed cards for when DD3 was born - there was a message buit it was on all of the cards saying something along the lines of being overwhelmed by everyone's generousity, being so thankful for a wonderful family and friends, and that things were gradually settling down.

Almost everyone who sent us a gift was sent on and, as far as I know, no-one minded - they were thrilled with receiving a picture of DD3 and her sisters.

I did do something different for my church as so so many people had bought us presents from there - we bought a charity gift and personalised the card with a picture and a message to everyone at church, and that was read out on Sunday morning

I still feel guilty that I didn't send any thank you cards at all after dd's birth, to all the lovely people who sent presents

However in retrospect I was quite depressed at the time and not coping at all.

As a result I would NEVER expect anything from anyone with a newborn, you just don't know how they are feeling. Some are fine, some are not.

I totally get where you are coming from. It is polite and good manners to send a short personal note.

People hype up the "newborn fog". It's utterly exhausting, but not how some people say, that's just jumping on the bandwagon.

If they found the time to photograph, choose a suitable photograph, get cards made etc, its not that much more effort to include a personal note.

It didnt have to be right away. I sent my notes out quite a few weeks later, and with a newborn, and not much help, I managed to scribble a few notes.

I would be satisfied with just a printed note, but I do know what you mean!!

I chuck thank you cards straight in the recycling - waste of resiurces IMO. Just send a text

Mummalish - "People hype up the "newborn fog". It's utterly exhausting, but not how some people say, that's just jumping on the bandwagon."

I'm not jumping on any bandwagon. I wasn't expecting it to be like that AT ALL, but it was. That was my experience.

Do agree with the rest of your post though, yes, if they've done all the rest then just writing something on the card by hand is not much more work.

get Hyacinth!

Halleluja, some sense at last! You are so right about the newborn fog thing too. For some women all it means is that they are very tired and a bit stressed. It's not the end of the world! But reading MN you'd think we'd all had lobotomies.

My point exactly about the little note - I wasn't looking for a two-page letter. But the photograph business would have taken them quite a long while - certainly longer than buying a box of cards and writing

"Dear X, thank you very much for the x, I look forward to playing with/wearing it. Hope to see you soon. Love xx"

Of course, for some, sending out pictures of their baby is far more fun and self-rewarding than actually expressing a grateful sentiment.

As for the comment about prioritising the NCT lunches - are you saying that having fun, enjoying yourself and doing what you want with your day is more important that being polite to others? if so, I prefer my priorities.

But anyway, I actually manage to do both. As I ghave said, the personal note is actually quicker than the expertly shot, uploaded, photoshopped card - which they had to address and post anyway!

It is a bit lazy but not as lazy as me.......I went back to bed at 8.3o this morning and slept till 11.30.

There is lazy then there is really lazy.

OP, I think you don't have enough going on in your life if you have time to get this critical about how someone else does thank you cards

Why ask if you are being unreasonable if you are so smugly convinced that you're not.

Parenting is hard. There's lots of things to be judged on. Writing on a card is such a trivial issue in the grand scheme of things that you could be judging other mothers.

The organising of the postcard might have been something that the father has done, perhaps thinking that this is something he can do to help ease the workload on the new mother.

Why do you assume that the cards are the responsibility of the mother? Do you just not like her?

Isn't a thank you at the time of receiving any gifts enough?? I'm with minipie on this one.

I agree with Morloth. Thank you cards are completely overrated.

The sending of them (or lack of) causes more problems than they're worth - I would like to see them banned.

I managed to send out handwritten cards for both my two, neither of whom were easy deliveries or easy newborns. You just buy the cards in good time, make sure your pen's got ink in it. Buy a book of stamps.

It takes very little time to write two sentences in each card.

THat said, I wouldn't mind a photocard like the one the OP received. Each to their own.

I didn't have newborn fog but I did have 6 week fog. I think you are being nasty. If these people (yes both) are friends then cut them some slack and give them a break

It's my favourite sort of AIBU.

OP - AIBU?

Vast majority - YES!

Couple of people - NO!

OP - FINALLY! SOME SENSE! All who disgree with me are too stoopid to understand me.

Good point Zachary, I have been saying mother without thinking too much about who's job it is. Probably because I did them in our house. I apply my posts to both mother and father then. Don't get all snipey and try to turn this into something it isn't.

I did this. Loads of people sent presents to the hospital and I was so tired/emotional/drugged up I had no idea who sent what.

Oh and it took 20 minutes (plus a few days for delivery) compared with the two weeks it took to write 'proper' cards for his christening.

{smile] Astronomy maybe we can start a revolution.

In fairness, though, on re-reading the OP, sounds like she sent the present rather than delivering in person, so a verbal thank you wouldn't have been possible on this occasion.

OP - what about if the parents thank you personally for the gift next time they see you? (As I imagine they may well do). Will that be enough, or would you still want a written thank you?

Just out of interest.