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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave DS alone in house while we go to pub?

332 replies

LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 20:57

Let me explain...

We are going on holiday with my parents and brother. We go every year and usually we camp but this year we're getting a house because DS 15months a bit young for camping (bad sleeper and noisy!). It's a tiny little village, v quiet, no crime ever as far as I know. The house has a garden, with a gate that leads onto road behind, where there is a pub.

Today my mum suggested that one night we could all go out together for a meal/drinks at the pub as it's so close we could take the baby monitor. The way things are positioned, it would be just like sitting out in the house garden, if the garden was a bit longer iyswim!

I'm not sure how I feel about this. She really sees no problem in it, we would obviously lock up the house, it would take barely a minute to get back if he woke (which he rarely does at that time), and anything untoward would be heard over the baby monitor. This all makes sense but a little thing in my mind is a bit [unsure emoticon]... I'm sure other nights we will stay in/BBQ, they will babysit so me and DH can go out, and we will stay in when they go out, but it would be nice to all go just one night.

It's not a big deal at all, she isn't going to get pissy or anything if we don't do it, but just wondering would you do it? Judge away

OP posts:
pranma · 30/05/2010 21:18

Please dont.

Original poster
LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 21:19

Definitely that close LadyintheRadiator, it's the equivalent closeness of terraced houses where the gardens are back to back, iyswim

OP posts:
Original poster
LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 21:22

"If you thought it was a reasonable thing to do you would not ask"

Surely that goes for any AIBU post lynli? And I clearly stated that I was unsure and not wholly comfortable with it in my OP, just canvassing for WWYDs

OP posts:
5inthebed · 30/05/2010 21:22

Could you maybe look into a local babysitting/child minder so that you could all go out?

Nancy66 · 30/05/2010 21:22

Why bother?

You clearly aren't comfortable with the idea.

SarfEasticated · 30/05/2010 21:23

If you had a Bugaboo you could take him to the pub in that, they are soundproof you know

I wouldn't do it, but then I have never left my DD on her own anywhere (not even a petrol station) so am not the most rational of people to ask. I can't even leave the window open in her room at night.

OneFucker2Many · 30/05/2010 21:23

please dont even consider this. its just crazy. a baby monitor could be turned off quite easily and although the risk is only minimal, there is still a risk of something happening. look at the mccanns. awful i know but for me would ruin the evening anyway worrying and being on edge about it.

far better to put him in his buggy and take him along, with maybe a little treat to keep him entertained .

KERALA1 · 30/05/2010 21:24

My friend is the most laid back mother you could imagine. She left hers once and went to dinner at a neighbours and took the baby monitor. Although nothing happened she hated every minute of the evening and swore never to do it again. If you are having enough misgivings to post dont do it - you wont enjoy yourself. If anything did happen the consequences are too awful to think about and the "upside" ie a nice childfree night is utterly not worth it.

Original poster
LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 21:28

That true, sarfeasticated? Well well, you never mentioned that before, you might have swung it your way

I think I possibly worry too little, I tend to assume the worst won't happen, I couldn't live in a paranoid state but possibly am a little too neglectful relaxed in some respects

Had considered that about people seeing baby monitor and reporting it or something, think that's far more likely than anything happening to the baby tbh.

OP posts:
Pozzled · 30/05/2010 21:28

For those who have mentioned the risk of fires, this is a genuine question- how is being a little way off with a monitor worse than being asleep in bed in the same house? Surely in either case you would have a smoke alarm? And there's no guarantee that you could get to the child's room if you were in the house, it would depend where the fire started and how quickly it spread etc.

mrsfollowill · 30/05/2010 21:31

Don't do it. Baby monitors are not infallible. One night whilst at home downstairs DH and I listened to the contented shufflings of 'our' DS - it was only when someone started singing twinkle twinkle we realised our monitor was picking up the signal from the baby across the street. Print these replies off and show your Mum - see if she thinks it's reasonable then. You can still all have a great holiday without doing this or just take him along in his buggy.

BuzzingNoise · 30/05/2010 21:32

YABU and I think you know it.

paisleyleaf · 30/05/2010 21:32

....and wouldn't the risk of being reported be enough to put you off?

Original poster
LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 21:34

Yes paisleyleaf, would be shameful

OP posts:
JaynieB · 30/05/2010 21:34

A friend of mine used to have dinner parties with other neighbours with kids - they all took their baby monitors and had a nice evening and nothing bad ever happened.
Saying that, I wouldn't do it myself. I'd try and come up with an alternative where you can all have a nice evening and not have the worry in the back of your mind. Lunch instead would be my choice.

MollieO · 30/05/2010 21:35

I think it is very different sitting out in the garden of your own home compared to sitting in a pub the same distance from a holiday house. Hopefully you know that your own house is safe, the electrics are okay and if your ds woke up he would be in a familiar environment. You cannot compare this to a holiday home.

I wouldn't but then there are lots of things that other MNetters do and don't think twice about that I would never ever risk.

As for fire. You would hear a smoke alarm if you were in the house. There is no guarantee you would hear it (or a child crying) in a pub.

firsttimemum77 · 30/05/2010 21:36

Nope nope and nope from me!!!!
The Mcanns sprang to mind instantly when I read your post! So once again Nope!!

Kewcumber · 30/05/2010 21:36

In theory I would do it. Not a high risk etc etc. In practice I would sit in teh pub hopping up and down and fiddling with the baby monitor convinced it wasn't working and insisting DH goes back to listen through the door. I would tough it out for a swift diet coke then run as fast as my chubby legs could carry me back to the house and only then would I start having a relaxing evening...

BritFish · 30/05/2010 21:37

you would leave a 15mnth old alone in a house on his own? i thought it was illegal until they were 14?
the likelihood is that nothing will happen.
but still YABU. sit in and have a nice drink.
and then you wont be worrying
you wouldnt leave a 6 year old alone in the house while you went out would you.
please dont leave the baby, find a local babysitter, stay in and have a few drinks, anything.
trust your gut instinct. anything could happen, a baby monitor doesnt lessen the distance between you and the baby if something happened.

IsThatTheTime · 30/05/2010 21:42

Couple of reality checks here:

if the smoke alarm goes off you would hear it through the baby monitor
leaving a 6 year old alone in the house is entirely different from leaving a baby IN A COT

Don't go if you won't enjoy it but keep the apparently completely sane balance you have at the moment and please don't let this thread turn you into someone who sees potential disaster in every situation.

Anniebee65 · 30/05/2010 21:47

Definitely wouldn't do this.

StealthPolarBear · 30/05/2010 21:49

that said it's not impossible the 15m old could learn to climb for the first time...improbable I agree, especially without a sound, but he could

Original poster
LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 21:50

Thanks, IsThatTheTime, I won't!

Out of interest, those who think IABVVU, would you report me if you saw me in said situation?

OP posts:
NoahAndTheWhale · 30/05/2010 21:53

I don't think I would do this but that doesn't make it necessarily wrong. Have to saybi have never considered there being a gas leak when I am outside and children are inside - not sure how I would know anyway.

AnyFucker · 30/05/2010 21:57

no, I wouldn't do this

you will get your night out at the pub (if it is so important to you ) by leaving your mother to babysit

then you babysit while she goes to the pub

if you want to go together....go early doors and take baby with you

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