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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave DS alone in house while we go to pub?

332 replies

LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 20:57

Let me explain...

We are going on holiday with my parents and brother. We go every year and usually we camp but this year we're getting a house because DS 15months a bit young for camping (bad sleeper and noisy!). It's a tiny little village, v quiet, no crime ever as far as I know. The house has a garden, with a gate that leads onto road behind, where there is a pub.

Today my mum suggested that one night we could all go out together for a meal/drinks at the pub as it's so close we could take the baby monitor. The way things are positioned, it would be just like sitting out in the house garden, if the garden was a bit longer iyswim!

I'm not sure how I feel about this. She really sees no problem in it, we would obviously lock up the house, it would take barely a minute to get back if he woke (which he rarely does at that time), and anything untoward would be heard over the baby monitor. This all makes sense but a little thing in my mind is a bit [unsure emoticon]... I'm sure other nights we will stay in/BBQ, they will babysit so me and DH can go out, and we will stay in when they go out, but it would be nice to all go just one night.

It's not a big deal at all, she isn't going to get pissy or anything if we don't do it, but just wondering would you do it? Judge away

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 30/05/2010 21:06

I wouldn't... I'd be a bit more Italian and take ds with you!

StealthPolarBear · 30/05/2010 21:06

I wouldn't do it but don;t know why. Probably as someone else says, I'd feel too guilty
All the people saying fire / gas leak, would you sit at the bottom of the garden then? But still on the same property? Genuine question, as I would!

compo · 30/05/2010 21:06

It won't be relaxing because you'll be on edge and checking every 15 minutes
better to have a few in the garden or lounge
or take him in pushchair, he'll sleep fine in pub garden no doubt

TotallyWipedout · 30/05/2010 21:06

LordVoV, had you seriously not thought of the fire thing????? Cripes.

I wouldn't do it in a zillion years. I'd hate every second of it, and I'd hate the people who tried to tell me that I should leave my child/ren. I wouldn't even consider it, and I'm surprised that it's not completely obvious that it's a bad idea.

LetThereBeRock · 30/05/2010 21:08

I wouldn't do it.

SixtyFootDoll · 30/05/2010 21:08

I am very lid back about this sort of thing, BUT in the circumstances as you describe it, I wouldnt.

MrsRhettButler · 30/05/2010 21:08

how bad was that sentence!

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 30/05/2010 21:08

I wouldn't. Take the baby with you.

monkeysavingexpertdotcom · 30/05/2010 21:08

I wouldn't, because it's the seperateness of the place you're going to from the house that would worry me, reasonable or not.
The other risk is that someone in the pub may know you've left a baby in the house, make their own risk assessment, and report you to the police, or worse. As SGB says, it's your decision, you decide on the level of risk.

Northernlurker · 30/05/2010 21:09

I don't think it will be a problem but I don't think you are going to relax at all so you might as well not waste your time and money. It can be hard to hear things on a monitor in a noisy environment and nobody wants to sit and have dinner with you going 'shush was that...' every 2.5 minutes.
I think it would be safe to do itmind, not like those mnetters who seem to think their kids are like pans of pasta and will boil over if you take your eyes off them! I just don't think you'll enjoy yourself if you do it.

StealthPolarBear · 30/05/2010 21:10

fab i think she means he sleeps baedly when its noisy

Original poster
LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 21:10

"How can he be a bad sleeper but not wake up a night?"

He sleeps well earlier on, but often wakes v early am, and is not quiet about it. Don't think this would make us popular on a camp site!

SixtyFootDoll, could you elaborate a bit? Laid back about leaving kids in house, you mean? And if so, what is it about this situation that puts you off? Genuine question.

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 30/05/2010 21:11

In answer to the question that someone asked, whether some of us would sit in the garden. I personally *wouldn't" sit at the end of a long/large garden. Different if one is literally outside the back door in a small garden/yard. Depends on circumstances though. As others have said we all have different ideas of what is safe and/or acceptable.

Fel1x · 30/05/2010 21:11

I wouldnt.
The chances of a fire or gas leak etc are very small but are still there so would mean I was on edge the whole evening and wouldnt enjoy it that much.
The bigger reason that I wouldnt like to do it though is in case DS was sick or woke up scared and would have to be distressed for a while until I heard him on the monitor and made my way back to the house! Being sick is a lot quieter than crying so easy to miss on a monitor in a noisy pub!

paisleyleaf · 30/05/2010 21:12

Would you not feel funny about advertising to a pub of strangers that there is a baby/small child alone in the house over the road?

Mingg · 30/05/2010 21:12

No no no - I would not

Lynli · 30/05/2010 21:12

If you thought it was a reasonable thing to do you would not ask. I would not do this in a million years and I would think twice about letting someone babysit who thought this was acceptable.

Thediaryofanobody · 30/05/2010 21:13

No never. Shocked that you even need to ask.

Pozzled · 30/05/2010 21:13

I wouldn't, personally. But... we live on the first floor, and our garden is the other side of our driveway from the house. So a little way off. And I will quite happily leave DD in her cot while we sit in the garden in the summer.

I think it all comes down to how comfortable you feel. The risk IMO is minimal, but would you really be able to relax and enjoy yourself in that situation?

LadyintheRadiator · 30/05/2010 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScreaminEagle · 30/05/2010 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
LordVolAuVent · 30/05/2010 21:16

He would definitely not sleep in a pub, he is much too nosy for that! Not a particularly deep sleeper so noise keeps him up, another reason a campsite is not great for him, although he would love it! We will get a night out anyway, just not all together, so not so bothered to take him (although if he was a deeper sleeper, I definitely would do that).

I agree, Northernlurker and rest, I highly doubt I'll do it, because don't think I would relax and enjoy it. The distance would be less than the distance I've been away from him when staying at my mum and dad's as the lucky fuckers have got a massive garden but there's something about it being a different place that I can't get over.

I have to say, if someone else did it, I wouldn't care though.

And can I just say, about my poor "idiot" mum, she's not making us, or saying we must or even should, she just suggested it, so I don't hate her!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 30/05/2010 21:17

thanks OPOL - not sure if I would. Not a problem we have as we hvae a small garden (it's quite wide, but not long and tbh if it's nice enough to sit outside we'd have the window open and not even need the monitor). Thinking about my parents' garden...no I probably wouldn't

Thediaryofanobody · 30/05/2010 21:17

It doesn't even have to be an incident like fire or kidnapping. If someone in the village finds out your DC is alone in the house they could call the police and report you, then you'll be looking at charges of child neglect.

IsThatTheTime · 30/05/2010 21:18

I'm assuming:
the house would be locked
you would have smoke alarms
your DS would be in a cot i.e. unable to wander
someone in your party would be checking regularly, say every 15 mins or so
then I think that's completely safe.

Having said that, I agree with Northernlurker, you probably wouldn't enjoy it as you would still worry, and I think you'd be self-conscious in a pub with a baby monitor.