to think it's rude to flame an OP at the end of a long thread without having bothered to read the thing?

[kitcat1977]

Am thinking about YoMoJo's thread about her toddler chucking sweets on the floor in Sainsbury's as an example. It's been pointed out to her several times that SWBU, and she's had the good grace and humour to accept that she was in the wrong. Despite this, other posters just pile on and add to the kicking, making her bad day, and embarrassment about the whole episode just that bit crappier.

Read the thread before launching in with criticism - and if you don't have time, don't respond!!

it's a free country, and this is AIBU.

well said, kitcat it's akin to bullying in my book.

maybe there should be a way for the op to lock a thread.

possibly by begging the admins on bended knees

or by bribing them

I am so going to kick your arse then...bwahahahahaha

I think you're right. It's often the case that a thread wanders off on a completely different tangent from the original OP as well.

I actually agree with you kitcat. I'm not a prolific poster, but the few times I've felt the need to post on a long thread (does anyone else not usually bother with the huge threads?? I tend to ignore them) I try to at least skim read the whole thing.

Anyway - I find the perps in the situation you've just outlined look like massive twats, which in itself is cheaply amusing.

I guess I asked for that, WFS!

well she should not have bloody posted! I dont have time to read all the threads sometimes

AND THIS AIBU FFS , its a not a samaritans problem line

so YABU, and I have read the whole thread!

in general the posters that get a hard time, deserve it, and that goes for me too if I post something stupid/inflammatory

It's unfortunate but when you post an OP it's like an advertisement for a second-hand bike in a local paper. People will respond to even if the the bike's been sold. And it isn't always possible to read all 9 pages of long thread. Sorry but it you post something likely to rile people you have to expect it. If it's getting too much the OP either has to get the thread removed or stop reading it.

On that particular thread, there's a couple of people coming late and responding directly to the OP, but I've seen it worse on other threads. It's mostly devolved into piss-taking between non-OP posters, which is ok, isn't it?

Bit bemused you've chosen this thread as an example really.

YABU
plenty of people only read the first few posts, especially in a long thread. OPs have to be prepared for ongoing flaming even after they have been persuaded they ABU. It's the nature of a board like this. People know how it goes. I wouldn't open a post, see it had 250 posts and decide not to give my opinion just in case someone else had already given the same opinion. If I have an opinion on the OP, I have the right to give it. Again, that's the nature of talkboards.

Nah. It's fine.

It'll either teach OP to calm down before she posts, thus giving her the opportunity to to allude to some humility in her post or it will teach her that behaving like a prima donna equals a flaming.

The piss-taking is completely different IMO, but there are always latecomers sticking their oar in.

"admins" "locking a thread" what have we become???? Babycentre??????

It's a bit swings and roundabouts, isn't it? It's quite nice when a flaming thread ends up with some general silliness I think, but then that keeps it in active convos so people come in an get cross again.

but there are always latecomers sticking their oar in.

AND???

why does this bother you, why do you even give s shit? Its AIBU ITS NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!!!

I'm sure that someone told me on that thread last night to read the entire thread, which kind of implies that they hadn't read the entire thread or they would know that I'd been on the thread all the way through and even told Mariah Carey YoJoMo that she'd been a good sport

But coming on and posting on a huge thread without reading it is akin to listening to someone in the pub, going to the loo, then loudly expressing your opinion as soon as you return without finding out which way the conversation has gone.

In other words, it's graceless.

Imo.

i dont agree, this is a feisty web based forum

people dont say "please read my op AND then the entire thread" and tell me what you think

sorry, I always get a bit ranty on a friday for some reason

anyway why is Mariah "mars bar" Carey getting so many defenders!!!

you post silly post, yhou get flamed. Tough titties

yabu

someone suggested once that the OP's responses could be highlighted like on the webchats, which might help

But I like the messing about that comes about in the course of a thread - one of my favourite threads of all time was the M&S pasta one

I've made two threads where I sounded like an arsehole in the OP. I redeemed myself later on in the thread but still latecomers came and gave their tuppence worth and told me I was a prick.

Meh I'm a big girl.

YANBU - it amusing to me that several hundred posts into a thread, some people can think that their insight is so valuable and unique that someone will not have made the point before and add their comments without reading what has already been said.

I did not read all of the Sainsury thread but thought the OP took the early criticism with good grace. The bigger problem is that it is not only on AIBU that this happens - it goes on everywhere on MN including on relationships where sometimes what seems like a stupid argument in the OP has escalated into what is clearly an abusive situation and still people pile in with stupid uninformed and out of date responses.