to get annoyed when my mum calls me 'an older mum'...

[MrKiplingismypimp]

Im 28!!!

I'm a bit disappointed, I never saw any hi-lighted names on my notes. No one ever mentioned my age either. God they would of had a mouth full!
DS1 at 34, DS2 at 38. Possibly squeeze another in before 40...ish.

Another thing, god was I the smartest looking lady in the maternity ward (believe me I'm no stunner). I have never seen so many fat and un-inspiring "youngsters", listing all their aliments of why they couldnt work, sob relationship stories, mums under social workers having another....it was truely scary.

30ish is the best age to start a family.

Ha! My mum used to call me an older mum too, when I had my dd's at age 27 and 30! I had to explain to her that actually I was slightly younger than the average mother .

She really ought to have been calling me a young mum. She had her babies at the same age as be, but in the early 70's. She was routinely called a geriatric mother by doctors, and so assumed that I was the same.

Well I'm 41, dd at 37 and recently ds at 40. In the hospital the nurse asked it it your 1st? and was astounded when I said my age!!

OP 28 is certainly Not old, your mum lacks perspective, just cause she had you at 21, you're different people.

I'm 47 and had DS and DD at 33 and 35, All my friends are around the same age as me or older. Only one of my NCT class was under 30.

I do find it scary that I am actually the same age as my 12 year old DD's Best Friend's Grandmother

Bacon, Your post is very unpleasant, but I'm too tired of all the MN snobbishness to bother pointing out why in an entertaining way.

Bacon, I was probebly looked liked an un-inspiring youngster as you descriped it (however, I wasn't fat, I hardly had a bump!, got away with half fair on the bus!!!), and it was judgemental attitudes like yours that pissed me off when I had ds at 18 years old (though I only looked about 12!), I actually worked in a phyisically demanding job right up until ds's head was practically hanging out, and bought and paid for every thing he needed, right down to every nappy he shat in!
It really fucking annoys me when everyone thinks that teen mums are 'scroungers' and vicky pollard wannabies, I had many a run in with old fart busy bodys that thought I 'should still be at school' was 'scrounging off the state', 'probebly dumps that kid on her mother' (though that was true on a saturday night, lol!) and I don't think that every teen mum should be tarred with the same brush!!!

bacon, maybe you looked really shit too. I am guessing you did as they other ugly losers opened up to you.

I also shared a room with a diverse cross section of society and we were all polite to each other but nobody bonded enough to start swapping life stories. They ugly fat losers on your ward felt comfortable with you though.

I was 31 when I had my first, so I guess I was an "older mum"

Now, 6 years later, I feel like a much much much older mum! Children are very ageing, I find.

I always liked Indiana Jones' quote:- "it's not the years, honey, it's the mileage!"

don't be silly. I have friends who gad their first at 38. Old age brings wisdom which is what youneed as a mummy!

When expecting DC1, we had an ice-breaker at our antenatal class.
All the parents had to ask each other questions so we could work out where we stood in a line - youngest at the front, oldest at the back.

I found my place and was aware that there were quite a few people behind me and was very relieved not to be the eldest one - but when I turned around there were only dads behind me and I was the eldest mum by a long shot at the ripe old age of 33.

I love Jooly's quote about mileage - I'm definitely feeling like an old banger at the moment.

I had first baby at 36 and second couple of months before my 38th! I wasn't the oldest at the ante-natal classes second time round either - that much I am 100% certain off! I would consider another but before 42!!!!

As dustythedolphin said, 50 years ago before the dawn of the pill, women didn't have that much choice about when they stopped - or started - having children. Some people remain fertile into their 50s, some have the menopause in their early 30s or before. My great-grandmother didn't get married until 35, and had her first at 36 and fourth at about 43-44. Don't suppose she thought she was too old.

I had my first at 35, and having second at 39. In my ideal world I would have been 33 having the first, but unfortunately the fertility gods didn't see it that way, nor did they the second time! None of my friends had babies before 29 at the very earliest, and my closest friends all had them at the same age pretty much as me.

bacon you sound stuck up, and there is no 'best age', it's what suits for the person. if anything, biologically its better to have them a bit younger. but we younger ones haven't said anything against being older or whatever (i dont think there is anything wrong with it anyway), but shouldn't you being older then be more mature than to make insulting comments about the younger mums you saw, then generalising that to say everyone should be 30. you might think you look 'smart' but your comments are not very smart

I only felt really sorry for one other lady I met when attending the AN Clinic.

She was about my age - mid thirties - and was there with her two teenage daughters, both of whom were massively pregnant, very demanding of their poor mum, argumentative and having some kind of sibling rivalry about who was going to have the worst pregnancy. The mum looked absolutely worn to a frazzle.

Heaven help me when I'm a 50 year old going through that (please, God, no).

I had ds at 28 (11 years ago now) and it was at the time the average age for a first baby. dd came along when I was 29, and apparently that was the average age for a second baby too. So I'm very average However I was by far the youngest of all my mum friends, probably by at least 7 years or so. So at 28 I'd say you are neither an older nor a younger mother. For me an older mum would be someone having their first child at over 35, and a younger mum would probably be under 25. I don't see any problem with either. I thikn that it is probably harder when you are much younger or much older, although for totally different reasons. My ex SIL had her first at 16, and really struggled, and our old next door neighbour had her first (and only) at 56 and had a lot of health problems, which the doctors felt were probably related to such a late pregnancy.

Personally I have found 28 fairly perfect as far as these things go.

I had DS when I was 34 (I'm still 34 - until June ). I can't imagine being a mum earlier, especially in my 20s. All of my friends who have babies are 30+ and some of them are planning to have 3-4 children.

there is evidence that our fertility will evolve to be later. As fertility is partly inherited, if women are having children later then they carry and pass on genes for having children later. Several generations of that and ........ well, they don't know anything for sure.

I was the first of all my friends to have a baby at 31. Had second at 33. I think that is about average these days isnt it?

Mum had my sis in 1978 at the grand old age of 25 and was told she was an older mother!

I've been doing some family research and we found out that DG's great-grandmother got married at 20 and proceeded to have 16 children over the next 22 years (all bar one survived). However the 16th child did her in & she died a few weeks later.

Personally I am 29 and only in the last 6 months have felt ready to be a mum. Only 2 of my circle of friends have children so far and my two work colleagues had their first (and only) children at 38 and 36 respectively.

I had first at 38 and 2nd at 40 and i am KNACKERED. Wasn't by choice just hadn't found anyone. Would definately have had them earlier if I had met the right man.

I would say anyone over 30 is seen as an older mum, but most people here see over 25 as an older mum.

I had a baby at nearly 24 and waited until I had been married for 4 years and I am one of the oldest first time mums at the nursery I work at.

From an article I found by Karen Hambridge....
"UP until the 1980s doctors labelled pregnant women over 30 as 'geriatric mothers'. By 1990 the term 'elderly prima gravida' - older mum, first baby, was given to anyone over 35. Now most health authorities class an older mother as 37."

I heard the term Prima Gravida, and thought that there was something terribly wrong with my baby (it was the "grav" bit, sounded awful!)

Fact is, the age goes up and up, for Dad's too, my friend has recently become a 1st time Dad at 50

I asked the MW when I had my first (at 41) if I was an elderly primagravia and she said they don;t worry about special precautions until 45 now so take heart out there.

And apparently it is the 40+s that have caused the recent baby boom that has upset the primary school entrance figures - they did not see us coming!

Given how hard it is to establish a career, find a partner and get a house sorted I think 40 is pushing it!

I remember when I was about 14 saying to mum and dad that I didn't want a baby until I was 30. Myd dad said 'Well you may as well call it your first and last if you do that then!'
I was 31 when I had my first (but not last)baby!

It's just a generation thing. In your mums day they had babies younger as a rule.

Just keep rolling your eyes like I do when my mum goes on one about something!

some of my mums friends are still having babies, she became a grandma before a couple of them hd their first