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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed when my mum calls me 'an older mum'...

163 replies

MrKiplingismypimp · 13/05/2010 16:31

Im 28!!!

OP posts:
Ivykaty44 · 13/05/2010 17:37

What do you want to hear though - sorry but yes you are an older mum - it doesn't make any difference that lots of mums are older and geriatric. Just because the average age is 34 doesn't mean you are a young mum - your not

Yes it is more difficult having a first baby over 35 and it doesn't matter the reason that this has happened , thats just that.

There is nothing wrong with being whatever age but it is going to have a medical term to go with it.

dinkystinky · 13/05/2010 17:41

Ivy - I objected to being termed elderly primagravida at not even 30! But I accept its medical terminology and nothing personal...

bibbitybobbityhat · 13/05/2010 17:42

Fair enough for medical professionals to give you a label, but not your own bloody mother!

BetsyBoop · 13/05/2010 17:53

I had "GERIATRIC PRIMAGRAVIDA" in big letters across the top of my notes with DD (I was 39 when she was born) didn't bother me in the slightest, although "geriatric" made me giggle (but was quite accurate some days! :O)

(Much better with DS (41 when he was born) as it just said "MULTIP"

PixieOnaLeaf · 13/05/2010 17:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tvfriend · 13/05/2010 18:06

My cousin was called a 'young mother' when she had a baby at 29 in New York.
The MW told me (1st baby at 37) that it was nice to see eomeone with a proper year of birth (1969) rather than a 1990's one. (She had a baby at 42).

Tee2072 · 13/05/2010 18:14

I must be ancient then. I was 40 when my son was born!!!

taffetacat · 13/05/2010 18:22

I had DS at 36 and DD at 39, my Mum never mentioned my age, but then she was 30 when she had me which in those days was a little, ahem, later than some of her contemporaries.

niftyfifty · 13/05/2010 18:30

I was 37 when I had DS but am proud to say the midwife wrote 'fit looking lady' on the notes when I went in to be induced!!

janajos · 13/05/2010 18:30

I was 27 when I had my first, 31 for the second and I only thought of myself as an older mum when I had my 3rd aged 40!! I think the average age for a woman to have a child is now 27, so you are average, not young and certainly not older!! It would really annoy me!! BTW, I have been fit, well and my body has coped as before with my last baby.

mrstimlovejoy · 13/05/2010 18:30

i was 34 when had dd i'll be 40 this year and would like to have another so i'll be a relic

mathanxiety · 13/05/2010 18:35

Why is your mum talking to doctors about you?

Thediaryofanobody · 13/05/2010 18:35

In my family your considered to be an older mum 25+ I was post 25 with DC2 and will be closer to 30's for any future children so it's been mentioned a few times around me already.
Yet they don't make any reference to my DH about being an older dad and he's 40!

ClaireDeLoon · 13/05/2010 18:40

My mum was an older mum when older mum's were very unusual, she was 36 when she had me. So I'm immune from such comments from her I reckon if everything is OK with current pregnancy I'll be 38 when it is born.

Ferry · 13/05/2010 18:56

My mum refers to me and my friends as 'you young mums'. I'm 32

Sorry PMSL at your mum asking the doctor.

MissM · 13/05/2010 19:00

Older mum??? My mum was 28 when she had me in 1969 - she was considered an older mum then. I like to think we've moved on just a little.

I had my first at 35 and my second at 37. Most of the other mums I mix with are a similar age or perhaps a couple of years younger. In fact if I meet a mum who is only 30 I consider her a 'young mum'!

BossLadyBayly · 13/05/2010 19:01

My mother had my "little" brother at 42 ! I'm about to try the same geriatric approach at 43 !

Kathyjelly · 13/05/2010 19:18

Rofl. I had my first (and only) at 45. I didn't disintegrate although it did take a while. And my dp was 56 [blush}.

aarghhelp · 13/05/2010 19:23

I was 44. You are a babe.

VicToryA · 13/05/2010 19:24

My mum said that to me when I was pg aged 29. I thought it was funny. Where has everyone's sense of humour gone? I remember my Gran saying that one of my uncles was 'getting on for 50'. He was 41 at the time. We laughed about that too.

majafa · 13/05/2010 19:27

I guess prehaps I as Middle Aged then, lol
I was 32 and 35 when I had my two..lol

JoInScotland · 13/05/2010 19:28

Hmm... I was 36 when pregnant with our son, just turned 37 when he was born. Boy, times have changed! My mum had had 7 babies by the time she was 35 (when I was born) and her oldest daughter made her a grandmother just after her 36th birthday. So I suppose I'm doing well not to have 7 children and be a Gran at 37.... feel very young now....

majafa · 13/05/2010 19:30

oh and I still get asked if Im gonna have any more,
Im 44 this year!!, prehaps I look young for my age

OrganicHairbrush · 13/05/2010 19:37

It depends where in the country and/or world you are. When I was pg at 31, a doctor from a place I won't name told me that I was dangerously old. And yet of a group of friends I grew up with, I'm the first to have a baby...

AmazingBouncingFerret · 13/05/2010 19:38

My mum had me when she was 37. (happy accident apparantly! )

So hopefully when my sister falls pregnant she wont make those sort of comments!