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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed when my mum calls me 'an older mum'...

163 replies

MrKiplingismypimp · 13/05/2010 16:31

Im 28!!!

OP posts:
Caz10 · 13/05/2010 22:24

at "who the hell shagged the old gimmer"

That should perhaps be written across the top of our notes instead! (Speaking as somone who would also have it written when I - hopefully - go in with future DC2!)

Original poster
MrKiplingismypimp · 13/05/2010 22:25

IveStillGotIt

Her birthday card that year must have said 'Happy 30th Grandma'???

OP posts:
BicycleBelle · 13/05/2010 22:33

When I had my DS the doctor at my 6 week check asked me if I was his mother or his grandmother. I was 34!!!!!

IveStillGotIt · 13/05/2010 22:40

My mum was 41 when I had ds, and when ever she took him out anywhere, people would think he was hers!!! Even now, she still gets mistaken for his mum, even when im there!!! Although my mum and I both look youngish for our ages, unlike one of my sisters, who is 5 years younger than me, and got mistaken for ds mum when he was 5 and she was 18!!! She was peed off for weeks that someone thought she looked old enough to have a 5yo!!!

thinker · 13/05/2010 22:42

Fuckin ell i`m 39 and preg with 3rd, stop it !!

Nuttybear · 13/05/2010 23:01

40 yrs here! Think of my poor Mum she worried about both her daughters. Sis had her boys at just 16 (preg at 15 yrs) & 2nd at 17 yrs. Me, the eldest had my lovely Ds at 40 yrs. Lovely nephews had a spinster aunt that spoiled them. Then one of them became my first childminder with my mum's help. The boys are close I bet some people think nephew is Ds's Dad!& His dad his grand-dad! Who really cares all three are happy & healthly. We are all going on a walk next week with nephews & ds that we did when they were young.

secretskillrelationships · 13/05/2010 23:13

My new and, as it turned out, lovely HV commented on how young I was to be having my second which made my day as I was 35 at the time! To be fair, I was living in Richmond at the time and most of her second time mums were well into their 40s!

zazen · 13/05/2010 23:48

I was an older mum at 35 and termed a geriatric prima gravida.
Or at least that is what I think I was called..... memory isn't what it used to be

pingviner · 14/05/2010 00:38

If your mother does it again point out, with a heavy sigh - but in your generation it was pretty much normal to be a teen mum....

btw nothing against teen mums (my mum was a teen mum if you are technical about it i suppose)

sunnydelight · 14/05/2010 02:39

How funny! I had my kids at 30/35/40 - I only considered myself an "older mum" with the last.

Meandacat · 14/05/2010 08:29

LOL! You are such a youngling by comparison! I just had DD1 at age 39. My mum had me when she was 44. My boss had hers at 44 too. 40 yo best friend still has no kids. So happy to have been surrounded by folks who think late 30s/early40s is "young".

The following exchange also amused me while pregnant:

Sonographer (at 20 wk scan): so that'll be your last scan then...
Me: No, I've got one more at 34 weeks.
Her: Really? Why?
Me: I assume because of my age.
Her: checks DOB. Hmmm, I suppose... but I wouldn't say you need one. .....You might be a granny for this sort of thing in Dundee, but not here in Perth.

Sorry, Dundee!

ihave3beauties · 14/05/2010 08:51

i was 22 25 29 now due no 4 at 32 and get mixed...went through the till at asda and the till woman says " aww having 2 is lovely you dont look old enough lol.. i said thanks and smiled for the whole day!! I do get the odd.. it must be harder this time round being in your 30's lol.. i say yes but only coz i have 3 others not becouse of my age i dont think!!! When i had my 12 week scan i stood i the que to pay for parking ticket and when i got to the point of putting my change in doh i didnt have none..let out a sigh and thie old biddy said... oh dear young lady if your sighing now what will you be like when you become a mum...lol. i bit back and said well as it happens i already have 3 so what know what stress is like...lol.. she didnt know where to put her face.. My mum was 17 when she had me and so she was a young nanny too!! xx

memphis83 · 14/05/2010 09:48

im pregnant at 27 and i remember a friend when we were 20 being pregnant and it said on her notes older mother as she was out of her teenage years

Downdog · 14/05/2010 09:59

I was 40 when DD was born - and yes in your notes you are referred to as geriatric (or the note form equivalent) if you over 36 I think!

sungirltan · 14/05/2010 10:01

my mum was 36 when she had me and yet i was also called an 'older mum' in the ante natal unit...ffs i was 29! and more to the point i still get id'd for alcohol!

JoInScotland · 14/05/2010 10:25

Meandacat I'm afraid you're right on the "Dundee" granny bit - I lived there for 11 years and it's all too true!

Builde · 14/05/2010 10:30

Had my first at 29. Where we live, and with my educational background, that made me almost a teenage mother.

However, my mum had me at 27 and this was considered geriatric (it went in her notes) in the 1970s.

birdofthenorth · 14/05/2010 10:33

I'm 28 and thought I was doing this pretty young!

Medically I think 35 is 'older' though if my friends are anything to go by this is an extremely normal age for the first one!

victoriah3 · 14/05/2010 10:35

I had my son (my first and only child) aged 39. Definintely a geriatric parent - my husband was 47.

He is an absolute delight but very hard work and i trky belive that if I were 15 years younger I would have more energy. Also I believe my age contributed towards a difficult pregnancy - high blood pressure & pre-eclampsia coupled with a 1 in 3 chance of a Down's Syndrome baby. Thankfully he was born safe and well with all the bits in the right places. We had given up hope of ever having a child and now we have our little treasure but I can't face giung through it again. Maybe if I were younger......

Headbanger · 14/05/2010 10:57

Marvellous. Now I slightly want to die (aged 30, unsuccessfully TTC first ).

elkiedee · 14/05/2010 11:00

Not at all - I had my babies at 37 (nearly 38) and 39, and dp was 44 and 46, so you can't possibly be an older mum at 28. I was described as an elderly primagravida. I really think this needs revising, fair enough to advise of risks but the terminology is unnecessarily offensive.

I always thought my mum had me quite young at 25, right at the end of the 60s, maybe not.

jellycat · 14/05/2010 11:02

My Mum says she was described as being an elderly prima gravida at 28 when she was pg with my older sister!

Cammelia · 14/05/2010 11:22

I confused the hell out of everybody by having dd1 at 16 and dd2 at 40

sophieandbelly · 14/05/2010 11:41

iam with u cheerfulyank! i had dd at 23 and was called young mum alot (mil said listen to me love, ive had 6 children and u r only young!!)) aaaggagghhhhh,
i said thank u for ur advice but feel totally confident in what iam doing ie feeding dressing etc and if i do need help MY mum is just a phone call away!!!

now 26 and expecting dc 2 and getting totally diff reaction!

common 28 is so young mad mothers eh!!

Debs75 · 14/05/2010 11:42

I was 19 when pregnant with DD1, Dp was 18 and Dmil was 33.
She was definitely a young mum and a very young grandma.
I am having no 4 and am 34 and I do feel old but that is only because my DD1 has just turned 14 so could, if like her grandma, make me a granny by the end of the year.

My gran had her 5th when she was 40 and the total age gap is 17 years from 1st to last.

I think it depends on you whether you feel an old or a young mum but outside influences definitely make it worse. Dsis had her 2nd at 33 and all the other mums on the ward were in their early 20's. She felt very old

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