Years before we were married, my DH bought a house, in which his parents and siblings moved in. My DH was the sole payer of the mortgage although his brothers had full time jobs and avergae pay each.
About a year before we married, DH did the house up completely. He did a double extension and spent £60,000 in total on the house. He did this believing that he would live in that house forever, with his wife and his parents. We were in a relationship then although not engaged to be married when he made these choices. He just assumed that I would be OK with this lifestyle when he made such a huge financial committment to this house.
When we married, I moved in there with them, but things did not work out between me and his mother. We had constant ups and down, and finally, we moved out.
It has been a year since the move, yet my DH still pays the mortgage and all the bills are direct debits from his bank account still. His two brothers now help towards the mortgage - although I dont know how regular that is because he is very hush hush about the whole thing. Every time I try to bring up the issue, he gets very defensive and we always end up fighting. We have had many many bitter fights over this in the past year.
We are now at a point where I there is hardly any money for food in our house due to his financial contributions to the other house. It is obvious that with this situation, we have no money whatsoever for going out for a meal, movie or shopping, eveni n the cheapest of stores. So we dont, adn we spend most of our spare time either at his parents house or mine.
I dont work because I have a DD who I look after at home.
I am at breaking point now, as I am so sick and tired of being skint. The worst part of all this is however, not even that.
Its that feeling of worthlessness; because me and my DD must be of less value and worth if he has put all of his extended family before us, and has carried on doing so regardless of the financial crisis that we are in.