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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to breastfeed?

704 replies

VixeyV · 20/04/2010 23:04

Hi this is my first post but I have been a lurker since the start of my pregnancy.

Anyway, my question is I'm 20 weeks pregnant and the midwife keeps pushing me into breastfeeding. I just don't want to and don't get why she won't stop asking me how I'll feed.

To be honest, the thought of it freaks me out. I didn't breastfeed my daughter and she's fine on formula, she has aptimal because that's the best.

So what do you think? Should my midwife stop nagging me?

OP posts:
alle01 · 29/04/2010 14:24

apparently, following research that is why ff babies get colic, no idea why bf babies get it, also there is NOT known cause for colic, they would tell you how to avoid it if they knew, i think.
sorry forgot the not

sparklycheerymummy · 29/04/2010 14:30

search on here though and there are many many bf babies getting Colic......thats not research thats just real life!!!!

alle01 · 29/04/2010 14:33

sparkly, i am going to totally ignore you, cause you're not listening, i didn't tell you wrong, still you seem to be angry for some reason, and don't know why taking it on me, so,... no more post or answers for you, so anything i say feel no need to respond.

sparklycheerymummy · 29/04/2010 14:41

why is it some people can question what others say and some people cant..... i am simply saying that sometimes research and factual evidence doesnt give the whole picture!!!! I was surprised bf babies got colic as i had always understood that it was unlikely they would! but they do and my hv said it was more down to positioning and intake of wind than the formula itself though you would expect more ff babies to get it i am not sure its so true. with bf babies i suppose what mum eats could affect it??!!!???

and yes i am grumpy and hormonal but not with you!!!!

sometimes the tone of what we are saying isnt clear on here and things can be taken with offence where there isnt any!!! (i think you took what i said wrong alle01. i have a habit of hitting capital letters sorry!!!!! oh and i do so like exclamation marks !!!!!!!

like i said earlier research adn figures and facts confuse me and i am better with peoples stories of real life,

alle01 · 29/04/2010 14:44

ok, then, i take it back, i won't ignore you, i just sensed a very angry tone and some capitals,...
anyway, i don't know why we are arguing then, because i completely agree with you and i was saying, or trying to, the same thing.

sparklycheerymummy · 29/04/2010 14:46

ha ha....time of month here and yes i am grumpy i admit...... my afs came back when ds was 11 weeks and still exc bf...... he slept well and that was why..... noone told me that would happen!!!!

alle01 · 29/04/2010 14:48

well, due date today, so trying to breathe and be chilled, maybe overdoing the chill part, but if this baby doesn't come soon i'll type from my wall.

sparklycheerymummy · 29/04/2010 14:50

ha ha.....actually didnt realise you were pregnant....ooooohhhh good luck!!!

alle01 · 29/04/2010 14:51

and doing lots of research on all sorts of feeding, can't you tell?

sparklycheerymummy · 29/04/2010 14:53

so is this your first second 40th?????? lol

alle01 · 29/04/2010 14:55

first, a boy, he is just resisting coming out,... to my agrabation

sparklycheerymummy · 29/04/2010 14:57

get using a breast pump ..... it didnt work for me but has for other people i know..... its surprising what comes out though but ds fed so well from first instance maybe it helped>?????!!!! oops exclamation marks allsorts there.....just realised i had seen your name on other thread...... i am soooo nosey and envious of anyone about to give birth..... i loved every minute of it!!!!

alle01 · 29/04/2010 14:59

mw said not to attempt pump until bf is established, baby must learn to do it... which other thread are you in too?

QueenofDreams · 29/04/2010 15:05

Alle - think what sparkly means is to use a breastpump before the birth - it's supposed to stimulate hormones to get labour going. Didn't work for me either though tbh!
if you do try it, don't freak if nothing comes out. It won't at this stage anyway.

alle01 · 29/04/2010 15:12

never though to stimulate labour...?, but talked to the mw about using to build up milk supply as my sister had trouble (?) getting milk the first days, and the baby wouldn't stop crying, of hunger we suppose,... and she categorically said to leave the pump well alone until at least 4 weeks,... so was never mentioned again

CarmenSanDiego · 29/04/2010 15:53

Nipple stimulation is not a safe way to induce labour. It can work but it can cause fetal distress so is not recommended.

Sparkly... no-one knows for sure what causes colic. I'd love to know how you're so certain when plenty of medical bodies have failed to reach a consensus.

But to use research (sorry), cow's milk in the mother's diet is often but not always the culprit in seriously colicky breastfed babies. (Relevant info from Pediatrics here)

alle01 · 29/04/2010 15:56

i didn't know that, carmen, i thought i was supposed to drink plenty of milk to ensure calcium doesn't drop due to bf....

CarmenSanDiego · 29/04/2010 16:08

Breastfeeding mums need calcium but no more than anyone else, although people used to think they needed extra.

It's thought that the baby actually takes extra calcium from bone during breastfeeding but this is naturally replaced when lactation has finished. (It is perhaps this process which reduces the occurrence of osteoporosis later on). This means that your dietary calcium doesn't make any difference to the baby.

But no need to avoid cow's milk unless your baby does show signs of colic.

LittleMrsHappy · 29/04/2010 16:12

Milk also had very little calcium, its better for you to have a half a cupful of spinach/greens or even salmon, to get calcium, although milk is good to get other vitamins.

alle01 · 29/04/2010 16:14

food for thought there...

sparklycheerymummy · 29/04/2010 19:12

I never said i was sure.... again i speak from personal experiences rather than research!!!!.....poor positioning, poor latch..... more wind intake...... screaming baby.....'colic'........ i think colic is an umbrella term for many 'wind' issues so could be from many causes. I believe colic to be a build up of small gas bubbles.......???? i dont pretend to be an expert!!!!

alle01 · 29/04/2010 19:15

my mw says that doctors tend to call colic whatever they don't have another name for, and my mum says that, traditionally, you know a baby has colic because she/he cries a lot,... i wouldn't worry too much about it,...

scottishmummy · 29/04/2010 20:58

titty you are a bitty precious and dismissive of opinions contrary to yours

you specifically asked for answers to one of my previous posts -"Well - taking previous comments by Scottishmummy on board, would anyone like to suggest how infant feeding choices can be explained to women in a way which acknowledges the risks and benefits of both ff and bf and DOESN'T offend people who don't want to breastfeed or who've struggled with it?

and then bellyache and be derisory when you dont likey the answer

you take the biscuit hun

robust discussion appears to bring out the worst in you.you specifically asked for a response to my post.got an answer and didn't like it

tittybangbang · 29/04/2010 22:38

I did, didn't I.

Fulham24 · 05/01/2015 10:18

'Unreasonable' not to breastfeed? Seriously? May I suggest you reasonably take care of your own breasts and let other women decide what they deem reasonable or not.