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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be peed off at mil for trying my wedding dress on !

144 replies

em83 · 20/04/2010 09:20

getting married in two weeks, just a last minute thing before we go on holiday, just wanted a simple wedding at registery office with me, dp and our 3dcs and inlaws (i dont get on with my family) and wanted to spare expense.
i had plans to buy a trouser suit for me, dresses for the 2dds and a shirt and tie for dp and ds....
then mil offered to buy me of our outfits for us provided mine was a dress " as you will regret it later" were her words, i thought if shes paying then why not !!
so to cut a long story short i got a lovelt dress from debenhams , however with limited space in our house i asked if we could keep it at their house.
when we were there over the weekend she said "the dress is lovely but very long, its even long on me , (she about 3 inch taller than me)and she seen the look on my face and went on to say i"i couldnt resist trying it on" this has pissed me off my dp wont say anything to her and im rather pissed off about it !

OP posts:
JaneS · 20/04/2010 09:23

Hell yes! That's really, really not nice. Given it is so long , and you wanted a trouser suit anyway, are you not tempted to tell her it's obviously better for her and you will not be wearing it.

Btw, a very, very chic lady I know got married in a trouser suit and she looked amazing. No regrets as far as I know!

DEPECHEMODEFANISBACK · 20/04/2010 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/04/2010 09:24

Cheeky mare. YANBU in the slightest.

Kewcumber · 20/04/2010 09:24

poke nher in the eye. It won't change anything but you will feel much better.

MrsTittleMouse · 20/04/2010 09:24

Ooo, ouch!

I wouldn't be happy either. Especially as she wore it before your wedding. Before my wedding even I didn't try my dress on, to keep it looking new and perfect.

imaginewittynamehere · 20/04/2010 09:25

yabu; she was possibly misguided but is patently excited about your wedding. Forget about it, direct her enthusiasm to help you & cherish the relationship you have with her.

Original poster
em83 · 20/04/2010 09:25

im really angry but she is a VERY emotional person and would start getting upset and crying if i confronted her

OP posts:
Miggsie · 20/04/2010 09:25

I suppose it's better than your DP trying it on...but she shouldn't have done it!

Or she should have asked first.

YANBU

GeekOfTheWeek · 20/04/2010 09:26

YANBU

I would have been furious if anyone had put my wedding dress on before I did.

Very bizarre.

Original poster
em83 · 20/04/2010 09:26

i don think im being unreasonable... she wouldnt try dps underwear on if he left it there

OP posts:
JaneS · 20/04/2010 09:29

em, come on, you're clearly 'emotional' and 'upset' too, and you have a right to be. Don't set her feelings at a higher priority than your own just because she can throw tantrums like a five year old.

If you were feeling evil, you could tell her one of the seams is splitting from the strain now.

GeekOfTheWeek · 20/04/2010 09:29

My face is like this

Surely no one thinks its acceptable to put the brides dress on before the wedding.

GeekOfTheWeek · 20/04/2010 09:31

tbh I wouldn't be bothered about her throwing a hissy fit. She deserves confronting about this.

Coldhands · 20/04/2010 09:31

Just out of interest, did she not wear a dress to her wedding. Saying you would regret it (how would she know) then trying yours on is bizarre. Why on earth would she want to try your dress on?

I would be very pissed off too, btw.

Sassybeast · 20/04/2010 09:31

Urrrgh - thinking sweaty armpits here ! YANBU - I'd be fuming if anyone, MIL or not, did that. what if she'd tripped or torn it or done something else ? Stupid woman!

Ffrecklefface · 20/04/2010 09:35

That's mental, even by usual MN MIL standards. You have to say something. Is she prone to bizarre behaviour, or is this a one off?

Please don't let this make you think negatively about your wedding though. It sounds like it'll be lovely, and I wish you lots of happiness.

Googlism · 20/04/2010 09:35

No way is this right. I'd be fuming. I don't care if she paid for it, or if she's excited. I doubt she'd have been chuffed if her MIL had tried on her wedding dress before her wedding day (never mind afterwards!)

BendyBob · 20/04/2010 09:42

I think that would p me off big time.

She's a very sensitive person, but only about her own feelings? You get people like that - v annoying they are too. YADNBU

JackBauer · 20/04/2010 09:45

YANBU, that's so rude!

bluecardi · 20/04/2010 09:45

Perhaps she was just thinking about her own wedding - her memories. It wouldn't annoy me.

YesYouMust · 20/04/2010 09:48

Her own wedding wasn't in OPs dress though was it? No memories in OPs dress.

I would be well miffed as i bet she would had her MIL done it to her.

HeadFairy · 20/04/2010 09:48

Oh yes, that's just not on. And for me emotional and sensitive usually = emotional blackmailer (I'm going to do something incredibly insensitive to you but please don't have a go at me cos I my cwy - boo hoo!)

bluecardi · 20/04/2010 09:49

yes but thinking about the event, being excited about it. See the dress in her wardrobe...

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 20/04/2010 09:49

It would definitely annoy me. I'd be thinking of her looking at me on the wedding day, and in the pictures afterwards, and remembering what she looked like in the dress.

Em - could you take the dress back to debenhams and swap it for a different one?

YesYouMust · 20/04/2010 09:50

Obvious next stage there blue is go look at photos of own wedding, not try on someone elses dress...

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