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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be peed off at mil for trying my wedding dress on !

144 replies

em83 · 20/04/2010 09:20

getting married in two weeks, just a last minute thing before we go on holiday, just wanted a simple wedding at registery office with me, dp and our 3dcs and inlaws (i dont get on with my family) and wanted to spare expense.
i had plans to buy a trouser suit for me, dresses for the 2dds and a shirt and tie for dp and ds....
then mil offered to buy me of our outfits for us provided mine was a dress " as you will regret it later" were her words, i thought if shes paying then why not !!
so to cut a long story short i got a lovelt dress from debenhams , however with limited space in our house i asked if we could keep it at their house.
when we were there over the weekend she said "the dress is lovely but very long, its even long on me , (she about 3 inch taller than me)and she seen the look on my face and went on to say i"i couldnt resist trying it on" this has pissed me off my dp wont say anything to her and im rather pissed off about it !

OP posts:
Ladyanonymous · 20/04/2010 16:38

My mum got married in a trouser suit in 1970 and she looked amazing

ipanemagirl · 20/04/2010 16:47

omaoma I agree totally - people go mad around weddings.

I had a girl friend all but shout at me because I wasn't enthusiastically arranging a hen night. Our relationship hasn't really recovered!

An old friend of mine went so mad at her brother's wedding she ended up in a strop in the wedding suite sobbing all over the bed with her brother in attendance trying to mollify her. She hadn't been happy with the seating plan apparently. She hadn't been seated according to her own sense of importance. I think it was because their day wasn't about her and she was going to bloody make it about her.

Do you think your mil was showing off that she could fit into it?

diddl · 20/04/2010 16:53

OP-I am wondering if you have tried the dress on-otherwise why the issue with the length of it?

But I would be really sad & tempted not to wearit.

Irrational, but I think that´s how I would feel tbh.

omaoma · 20/04/2010 16:56

... you'll probably find out because you planned a registery office do and were planning to wear a trouser suit, that she thinks you don't really think the day's a big deal and therefore what's the fuss around trying your dress on? never mind the basic rudeness of trying somebody else's clothes on without asking (personally i would have tried it on but not said!)

Pikelit · 20/04/2010 16:58

"...rebond with it"?? Sake!

And there was me admitting to being ever so slightly woo on that woo thread too.

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/04/2010 17:01

I am slightly astounded at the overreactioon about this.

I wouldn't care less if MIL tried my dress on tbh.

omaoma · 20/04/2010 17:02

i know the idea of 'rebonding' with your wedding dress is woo woo - but that's how i felt about it at the time! and to repeat, many people go woo woo around their wedding...

Northernlurker · 20/04/2010 17:03

I think it's a bit odd that she felt entitled to try it on and I wouldn't be happy with this at all.

pigletmania · 20/04/2010 17:03

Thats just not nice at all. Just say to her well if its too long then, we will have to take it back to the shop for a new one or tell her that you can use your trouser suit instead.

ShowOfHands · 20/04/2010 17:07

Ooh the rational side of me wants to say it's nothing and you're overreacting. Hey, at least you didn't catch her in it, clutching a lifesize cut out of you soon to be dh and sobbing hysterically.

But I would be very annoyed in reality. I know I would. I defend MILs a lot. They get a lot of bad press but this time, nope, I'd be cross as a cross thing.

diddl · 20/04/2010 17:15

It seems to me to show a lack of respect-that & the "I´ll buy your outfit if it´s a dress".

Perhaps because you gave in OP she feels entitled to do this?

moondog · 20/04/2010 18:09

God who cares?
With three kids you are hardly virgin bride to be sacrificed on alter of marriage in pristine white robes.

giveitago · 20/04/2010 18:12

Bit freaky but unless she's planning on wearing it and walking up the isle in it I'd just let it go.

MmeLindt · 20/04/2010 18:15

Sorry, but at rebonding with the dress.

I am pretty open to all sorts of woo but that just made me spray tea over the keyboard.

Perhaps you could light a candle to St Fraser, Patron Saint of Department Stores and recite 3 Hail MarksandSparks.

Mowgli1970 · 20/04/2010 19:14

Oh my God! I gasped just reading the title of your post. WEIRD behaviour. WHO tries on anyone's wedding dress, let alone the future mil?!?!?
I'd be extremely angry.

bilandsildrivemecrazy · 20/04/2010 19:16

I tried on my bridesmaid's dress when I got married.

I paid for it, I tried it on.

thesecondcoming · 20/04/2010 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsC2010 · 20/04/2010 20:21

I doubt she realised you'd be so upset.

HellBent · 20/04/2010 20:23

calm your jets, I have not heard that in ages!

OP not sure if you are over reacting, link the dress so we can make a proper decision

Original poster
em83 · 20/04/2010 22:34

im wetting myself reading some of these posts
mil was here when i came in from work, she was being rather nice, maybe shes feeling guilty or maybe shes just excited at the thought of going home to try my dress o again
yes its only a dress but its the dress i chose to wear at my wedding .

OP posts:
moondog · 21/04/2010 07:06

Therein lies an important lesson-don't let other people buy/fund things for you and then expect than not to interfere.
It rarely works.

RubysReturn · 21/04/2010 07:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bunnymother · 21/04/2010 07:53

Completely unacceptable. I am generally chilled about things but would exchange the dress. And tell her why. She wanted a moment of enjoying what it feels like to be a bride. Too bad, it's been and gone for her. Also, bad luck if she gets upset. That will teach her to step back a bit. She paid for the dress but didn't buy herself her own bridal experience.

morningpaper · 21/04/2010 07:57

WTF am I missing something?

I would probably do exactly the same thing, just out of curiousity/fun/playing

A massive SO WHAT from me

bunnymother · 21/04/2010 08:17

MP- have a think about why you would want to try someone else's wedding dress on. And whether that's acceptable. I think it's because a wedding dress is associated with excitement, glamour etc. But tht is reserved for the bride. Also, that MIL didn't either ask or tell OP openly indicates she knew it was wrong.