to be peed off at mil for trying my wedding dress on !

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getting married in two weeks, just a last minute thing before we go on holiday, just wanted a simple wedding at registery office with me, dp and our 3dcs and inlaws (i dont get on with my family) and wanted to spare expense.
i had plans to buy a trouser suit for me, dresses for the 2dds and a shirt and tie for dp and ds....
then mil offered to buy me of our outfits for us provided mine was a dress " as you will regret it later" were her words, i thought if shes paying then why not !!
so to cut a long story short i got a lovelt dress from debenhams , however with limited space in our house i asked if we could keep it at their house.
when we were there over the weekend she said "the dress is lovely but very long, its even long on me , (she about 3 inch taller than me)and she seen the look on my face and went on to say i"i couldnt resist trying it on" this has pissed me off my dp wont say anything to her and im rather pissed off about it !

My Gast is truly Flabbered by all the horrified posts agreeing that the OP is not being unreasonable.

It is a dress! A dress! The poor lady is being villified on MN with implications that she is weird and creepy and wants to shag or marry her own son! All because she .... tried on a dress!

Maybe it is me but this weird preciousness about everything to do with weddings freaks me out much more than a future MIL trying on the bride's wedding dress. If anyone bought a dress off the peg, how many times would it have been tried on? But I'm kinda guessing that most posters had their wedding dresses hand woven by fairies in the purest unicorn silk and delivered by magic dust on the eve of their special day!

MrsTittleMouse - how did you know your dress would fit OK?

YANBU. Get the dress back, say it's to check the length if you really can't be bothered with the confrontation and give her a wide berth between now and the wedding. She's older and fatter than you so you know she didn't look better in it You could always get it taken up or altered then without involving her...

It's a dress, It's been tried in in the shop before, she was curious, no-one saw or photographed her in it....shrug and move on. It's a dress not a magic spell that has been broken! And certainly not worth causing a feud over.

And I agree. In the 'being emotional' stakes you - and most posters on this thread - are neck and neck with MIL. You've said you love the dress - why insist on something else just to make some pointless point?

I don't really understand the problem. When you go and buy your dress off the rail, as many of us do, others will have tried it on before you. My SIL and my DS tried on my dress before I got married, it was fun.

My ExFiances mum got my engagement ring made to his design in SA. So far so good...but it was HUGE, so she tried it on and Ohh would you look...it fitted her ring finger perfectly?????
There are worse things! Enjoy your wedding

I don't get what the big deal is. I think you're getting a tad to precious.

I can't understand the outrage. OP also doesn't know that MIL actually tried the dress on or might merely be winding her up. Chill. Worse things happen at sea.

YABu - how many people might have ordered it, got it home, tried it on and sent it back?

Come on, OP - this isn't really a 'last minute, simple' wedding reaction, is it?

A bit irksome but not worth causing a scene about. You need to check it fits well and then find some way to regain the specialness of it.

Yes she's a silly woman, but I doubt it was any more than she could not resist trying it. Then wanted to be helpful telling you about the length.

Score brownie points with dp and her by letting it go.

The OP could, of course, get An Holy Man in to open the frock's chakra - and then burn it. With MIL on top in a little wicker cage. That way the precious aura might be maintained all the way to the wedding day.

OMG

I think she was just having a Rachel from friends moment (or was it Monica)

I would be part incredulous, part horrified and partly just think it was funny, I think.

Ok..am i the only one who finds this really funny??..I'm sorry you are upset OP..at least she didn't stretch it out..if my MIL had tried on my dress it would have exploded!!

yanbu and she is obviously a clueless eejit of a woman. But you were laying yourself open to her eejitness by leaving it round her house. And some people think if they pay for something it's a little bit theirs.... so it's unreasonable of her but perhaps not surprising given that she's bizarre in the head.

I agree it is hilarious, but also very weird.

I think trying it on is one thing but telling you she did it is quite provocative and a bit of a challenge to see whether you are willing to stand up to her or not....

Life's too short, surely. It's just a dress - she didn't rip it, pour red wine down it etc, etc.

She probably feels really bad about it now, and is posting on Mumsinlawnet at this very moment.

I cant see whats worth a row?

The dress is from debenhams its not made to measure.

So what?

YABU. she could have tried it on in the shop. Twenty people could have tried it on in the shop. She just shouldn't have mentioned it!

I don't think it would ever occur to me to try on somebody else's unworn wedding dress, but equally, I don't think it's that big a deal, as long as no seams are burst / sweat stains left behind / etc. Vaguely weird... but that's about it.

OP, congratulations on your upcoming wedding and I hope this soon becomes a story you can look back on and laugh about

wow i think it's quite a weird thing to do but i have noticed a) people get very weird around weddings and b) mothers/MILs get every WEIRDER, precisely because they turn out to have very differnt/strange expectations about what weddings are/mean to their daughter/DIL.

i also know i got VERY EMOTIONAL about my outfit for my wedding so i understand if you are finding it hard to recover from this.

if the dress is all fine and not buggered by the experience, really really try to tell yourself it doesn't matter, tens of people tried it on in Debenhams, la la la whatever you need to and try to put it to one side and put it down to wedding psychosis on her part and hopefully that's that. i would definitely keep it at home from now on so you can rebond with it.