To get a teeny bit irritated by people who "parent loudly"

[Rollergirl1]

I was at the swimming baths yesterday and there was a mother with her toddler DD getting her dressed into her swimming costume. They were sat the bench just across from me and mother kept up a running commentary in a booming jovial voice the entire time...

" Come now Evie, shall we take your trousers off now? What colour are your trousers? Are they pink? Can you say pink? Oh good girl! Can you stand up for Mummy? No Evie, stay here like a good girl. Gosh you are a little monkey aren't you. What sound does a monkey make? That's right. Okay, shall we bring Ducky with us? What colour is Ducky? Is he yellow? Oh you clever thing. Can you say ducky? What sound do ducks make? Quack quack yellow ducky." And it went on. And on.

It really isn't a crime atall but I got the distinct impression that it was all for everyone else's benefit and she was expecting everyone in there to comment on her exceptional parenting and how well she interacts with her child, and isn't Evie just the cutest little thing and how old is she.........when instead I was just thinking SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!

I know it probably makes me sound like a right cow but I just find the whole "look at what a great parent I am" thing kinda irksome.

And then Jajas they can translate them into SerboCroat

I find this thread a bit worrying. I'm moving back to the UK soon, with 2 yr old DS who was born in Spain and has lived here all his life. Lots of things to look forward to but this thread really reminds me of one of the MAJOR downsides of Britain - massive snobbery and judgemental attitudes based on class "markers". I do not want to be written down as a show-offy parent if I give my child organic oat crackers or talk to him about what colour things are. I don't want to feel that I have to speak in whispers to him just in case other people around me curl their lips at our conversation.

Basically, I don't want complete strangers sitting on the bus or in the park eavesdropping on my interaction with my child and making nasty judgements on us because of it.

And, actually, I think there are quite a lot of worse things in the world than a parent being pleased and proud of how wonderful their child is. Even if she was being irritating - who cares? Evie was probably a much wanted and longed for baby, and good on her mother for taking so much pleasure in her.

Good for you, starkadder. Really, really well said.

Hear hear starkadder!

i HATE it when people say " xyz" was a much longed for baby" as if they are then special babies adn ours were shit heads!

JUST SHUT UP AND DONT SHOUT is all i think the thread is saying

But so what if they do? I'm sure I come over as an utter ponce with my children sometimes, but so what? Like I said before, sometimes I hear myself and laugh. You talk loudly enough for other people to hear you, they are going to form an impression of you. But does it matter what someone on the bus thinks?

Oh my god, do people just hang around misunderstanding what OPs are trying to say and enjoy a good rant off, or do you just hang around so that you can attack someone safe in the knowledge that you'll never actually have to have a real conversation with them?

LeQueen, I'm with you.

this thread is so frustrating, but horribly compelling at the same time.

All babies are delightful, of course, AnnD. I think I feel sympathetic to people who are openly and loudly pleased about their babies because I have had a fair few miscarriages myself.

And yes, of course some parents are a bit shouty and annoying - but it really doesn't matter, and it is far more damaging, I think, to live in a society where we're all so scared of being thought pushy or show-offy that we worry about what complete strangers might think of our conversations with our toddlers and so end up sitting in stony faced silence. And I know I'm talking extremes - but really, if even one person reads this thread and is embarrassed about interacting with and talking to their child in public as a result, that's one person too many.

I'm sure there was a sketch a while back called "over-demonstrative dad" - has anyone else mentioned it? I hiss it to DH quite often when he is in performance mode...

YANBU.

I am pretty sure I am not one fo these parents myself but I am definately the one that sounds like fish wife whilst shouting at my daughter as she hurtles up the road on her scooter. I hate hearing myself do it but often there is no choice.

"And I would never delude myself that other adults were so terribly interested in my children. "

LeQueen- you've hit the nail on the head. I think the problem is that the overtly noisy parent truly believes that everyone else is watching and thinking that their child is as wonderful a creature as they think themselves, but in truth everyone is really watching and wondering why they are making such a loud show of their parent/child interaction instead of just getting on with it like most normal people!
There's a guy on the road behind ours who takes his little girl for a walk every evening and really loudly talks to her about the flowers, the cats she sees, what cars are on the road etc. It can't surely be just for her benefit, I'm convinced he wants everyone to hear and to think he is such an amazing daddy but in truth I want to tell him to piss off and stop walking round shouting to his kid and coochy-coo-ing when I'm trying to get my own kids to sleep

I know what you mean, baskingseals - I keep coming back!

Without wanting to sound pompous though, I HAVE learned a lot of what people with SN children have to do.

I wont be so quick to judge now - although I really DO know people who do this when their children do not have SN.

this thread is like picking a scab

But wouldn't you also think how lovely it was that he took his daughter for a walk every evening? I would, and I'd think he was an over-demonstrative dad. It doesn't mean instant cats bum mouth.

he prbably thought " ooh i bet they all think i am really great taking her for a walk when she spends all day playing online poker"

haha

ROFL at cheerfulyank.

I do get what this thread is about I really do but I imagine that I come across like this when it is not my intention. I just get carried away sometimes .

There was one of these in Richmond the other day.

Mother honking across the shop ARTHUR. HERE IS A BOOK ON ANCIENT EGYPT. ARTHUR? ANCIENT EGYPT. ARE YOU STILL INTO ANCIENT EGYPT, ARTHUR?

Arthur wasn't. I laughed. (quietly)

lol
was he into tattoos of nekkid woman instead

Oh no Stark, anyone who would judge you just b/c you gave your child organic crackers is a twat. Anyone who would judge you for doing so in a superior manner would be me probably still a twat.

How's your move going?