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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Pretend to be Catholic

201 replies

Aeschylus · 14/04/2010 20:43

For our DS to get a School place.

Basically the best primary school in our area is Catholic, and quite frankly I think religion is all a load of old mumbo jumbo.

However we are at a dilemma as to if we should lie and cheat so he gets a place.

ofsted report is fantastic, spoke to the head and he wants to meet us, we wont have a chance if we dont say we are Catholic. I know of some parents who lie about their address to get the school they want, but is this a step to far.

What do you think?

OP posts:

amidaiwish · 14/04/2010 21:23

i don't think Aeschylus's question is outrageous. but it isn't as simple as just rocking up, getting baptized and hey presto you're in.

and btw I am a Catholic with kids in Catholic school.

Devendra · 14/04/2010 21:23

My friends DS has AS and was sent to a RC school in year 5 as they had better resources/facilities to support him.

It was a NIGHTMARE!!

My friend is a lesbian and experienced extreme homophobia from the headmistress and the staff... even to the point of being asked if she had considered councelling for her sexuality and 'lifestyle choices'

Her son was told in no uncertain terms that he was never to discuss his Mothers relationships.

He had to attend mass, see a priest regularly and the religion was everywhere and tainted everything they did on a daily basis...He really started to question my friends sexuality and became confused and upset. My friend was devastated and a few years on is still repairing the damage done.

Seriously if you are not religious... dont do it..

amidaiwish · 14/04/2010 21:24

please don't start Catholic bashing Devendra.
there are a couple of gay relationships in my dds school. no one bats an eyelid actually.

ravenAK · 14/04/2010 21:25

I went to a Catholic primary myself. Would rather have my own dc raised by wolves tbh.

There's quite a bit more to it than the odd 'Praise the Lord!'.

Also, if we must have faith schools, then I do think that this sort of hypocritical dishonesty is precisely what makes them such a pernicious influence on the education system generally...at least leave them to those who genuinely profess a faith.

Actually, I reckon you've no chance anyway. Save your dignity!

Devendra · 14/04/2010 21:27

Not catholic bashing. Merely staing the facts.

abbierhodes · 14/04/2010 21:27

Wow, this thread is really gonna kick off!!

Erm, well YABU, but of course you know that.

I do think some people may be being a little two faced though. I'm catholic, and yes, I believe in God, but I wasn't a regular church go-er until school places mattered! And I know many catholics who are the same!!!

The difference, I suppose, is that I don't actually think it's all 'mumbo-jumbo'. I support the teachings of the church,(on the whole) I was just lazy when I was younger.

So you're a few steps more unreasonable than me and a fair amount of my friends.

But just apply, be honest. They have to take a proportion of non-catholics anyway, usually, so you might get in.

Good luck!

noeyedear · 14/04/2010 21:35

I was curious about this- I am a Catholic and my DS was baptised a catholic but he as very ill when he was small and I sort of lost my faith as a result of this (clearly it wasn't that strong in the first place) Anyway, it would be easy to get him into a catholic school by just going to church, as we have all the other critera done, but the catholic chuch is very black and white as far as I can remember from my education- the Pope and what he says goes, your child has to have his holy communion and confirm his faith- not decide for themselves- it's really put me off putting him in a catholic school, even though it is the best in the area. Luckily there are other fairly good schools near us. I always wonder whether non catholics understand just how hard core being a catholic can be when they say they are pretending to be catholic to get their kid into the school- its not just saying a few hail marys now and again- it's a lifetime of indoctrination!

pranma · 14/04/2010 21:36

If he isnt baptised and you dont go to Mass then you couldnt convince anyone.

scottishmummy · 14/04/2010 21:38

manipulating an address is wholly different from falsely acquiring a faith

given you dont support the premise of faith,and you have chosen rc as pure convenience based on good school

you will have no convincing opinions,no rc experiences to cite.no authentic narrative

is your child baptised
any recent rc activity
known to parish
will you attend to mass

you are being unrealisitic and daft.i dont imagine a myriad of lies is good way to start school

Ladyanonymous · 14/04/2010 21:42

"manipulating an address is wholly different from falsely acquiring a faith"

Why? They are both lying and they both do honest people out of school places.

Both as bad as each other IMO.

scottishmummy · 14/04/2010 21:46

i didn't say one was better than other.but faith is attitudinal and demonstrable by some level of participation in ceremony eg baptism. submitting hooky documents and pretending to live at an address does not require demonstrable attitudes

i imagine pulling off a false address to be easier than pretending to be rc

i have no experience of either.

kitkatsforbreakfast · 14/04/2010 21:48

I think this thread will kick off if people use it as a vehicle for catholic bashing.

imo whether you agree or not with the catholic viewpoint is really a side issue.

You also have to realise that one experience at a catholic school will be very different from another, like in any school.

What the issue is, is whether op is being unreasonable to lie to try and get into a school.

My opinion is that she should apply for the school, but be honest about her religion, or lack of it, and see what happens. But then I value honesty in all areas of life, not just religion.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 14/04/2010 21:49

How do you know the school is the best - what do you mean by the best?

Without your child baptized and you being seen regularly at church I doubt you would get in.

Personally, I would get rid of faith schools or make them fund themselves.

mrsruffallo · 14/04/2010 21:49

I don't blame the OP for trying to get the children into a good school. It depends where you live- are the alternative schools too awful to contemplate?
If so, I would go for it

giveitago · 14/04/2010 21:50

I think it's hard to get into catholic school - need the local priest to recommend you etc.

However I also thought they have to take on a proportion of non catholics so best to be honest I think.

Ladyanonymous · 14/04/2010 21:50

Accept your point SM.

noblegiraffe · 14/04/2010 21:51

I'm trying to think of suitable 'Are you really a Catholic' quiz questions. Like:
What is kept in the tabernacle?
What does the priest say just before you leave Confession?
What should you do towards the altar before you take your pew in Mass?
Complete the prayer 'Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be what?'

If you don't know, you'll be caught out as a Catholic pretender pretty quickly.

Ladyanonymous · 14/04/2010 21:51

"I don't blame the OP for trying to get the children into a good school. It depends where you live- are the alternative schools too awful to contemplate?
If so, I would go for it"

And stuff anyone else...and the system, however unfair it may seem?

So we can all make our own rules now?

kitkatsforbreakfast · 14/04/2010 21:55

noblegiraffe I'm chuckling at your idea of a Catholic quiz to get into school.

Like a SAT for the parents.

How many Hail Marys on the Rosary before a change of prayer?

How many Eucharistic Prayers are there?

What happened at the assumption?

What is a Holy Day of Obligation?

confusulation · 14/04/2010 21:55

Even as a genuine practicing catholic I worry that DD won't get into our local RC school.

I don't see why you'd want your child to go to a catholic school if you think it's all rubbish. Whatever you do or don't believe in, surely you believe in setting a good example for your child and wouldn't want to confuse them by having them learn about something throughout their school life that u have no intention of supporting?

Judging by some of your responses on here 'praise the lord' etc you wouldn't fool them anyway.

By all means apply as a non-catholic, as has been mentioned, there are places available, but please don't lie and cheat your way in....you know where you'll end up!

confusulation · 14/04/2010 21:55

Even as a genuine practicing catholic I worry that DD won't get into our local RC school.

Judging by some of your responses on here 'praise the lord' etc you wouldn't fool them anyway.

By all means apply as a non-catholic, as has been mentioned, there are places available, but please don't lie and cheat your way in....you know where you'll end up!

ravenAK · 14/04/2010 21:59

Noblegiraffe, on that basis my kids are so in!

Despite their atheist mum, Buddhist dad, & our mutual opinion of faith schools...

You could google much of that, surely, if you didn't have the natural advantage of having done time yourself?

FrozenFlowers · 14/04/2010 22:02

Ahh but there's so much trivia, you surely wouldn't know it all? It would be a pop quiz, I assume.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 14/04/2010 22:03

lol at saying 'Praise the Lord' a few times

Yeah, isn't there a test for Catholic guilt, namely not attending mass?

mrsruffallo · 14/04/2010 22:04

People buying property near good schools, lying about where they live, going to church every Sunday until the children get into school...
People pretty much make up their own rules anyway
It's what you do to provide your children with a good educational environment. Sadly, there are many schools, particularly in deprived areas, that will not provide your children with a positive educational experience.
That's the scandal in all of this, not that parents lie to get their children into schhol

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