to stick my head in the sand and pretend this isnt happening?

[queenoftheslatterns]

i got a bfp on tuesday. a clear one. a bright blue line straight down. I am now (going by ov dates) coming up for 5 weeks. this is the time I normally mc, and I just want to stay in bed and sleep for the next 2 weeks. I havent called the cons yet, no point because there is nothing he is prepared to try. I havent been to my gp because he will refer me to the cons and i dont want yet another mc going on my notes.

i certainly feel more pg than i have for years, napping 2pm-4pm, going to bed at 8, eating like a horse etc... but on the downside i have a touch of loose bowels and i know that i need an early scan because of the ep.

but i cant seem to face up to this. dh is cacking himself and i dont want to scare him anymore. he asks if ive called the cons and ive been v evasive and said that he is away, but i dont want to involve anyone else in this in rl yet.

I so hope this is an 'innocent' bleed.
Thinking of you x

thinking of you.

Oh lissie

How is the bleeding today? Was not on yesterday so missed your update.

Much love x

thanks all, bleeding is still not heavy but pains are getting worse and temp is still v high. should've known better i suppose.

qod so very sorry for you. haven't posted on your threads before but have been keeping an eye out for you. hope you are being well looked after.

Oh no lissie, I have been following this and just seen your update, I am so sorry for you.

I am really hoping that this is a bleed that means nothing. In reality you know how it feels because sadly this has happened to you before so I am guessing that you know what is happening. I am still hoping you are very wrong though.

Take care of yourself - you dont deserve this I will keep thinking positive and keeping everything crossed for you.

thanks, at the moment the bleeding is still very light but i'm not holding out much hope. i am so fed up. and so sad.

So unfair.

Lissie, praying that it's just an innocent bleed for you petal x

oh Lissie...

I'm so sorry you are going through this again ..Lifes really unfair isnt it ?

if the worst happens, when you are ready , cat me and i will send you some progesterone anyhow - that way you can start it as soon as you get a bfp next time ..
Ive always taken it from day 28 of my cycle..

I feel so bad for you -- and I am just hoping that this will turn out to be a false alarm and you will be ok ..

Hang in there ..x

Am thinking of you x

sorry to hear about the bleeding - still hoping that it will turn out ok for you xx

thank you all so much, duritzfan, that would be great thank you.

bleeding seems to have stopped, so far it has just been heavy spotting, ive had some pain not too bad, but pretty bad. no clots yet.

Thinking of you. xx

thanks, i certainly dont feel like its officially all over, but i'm pretty sure it will be soon.

dh has suggested we go back to the cons and ask if they will reconsider IVF.

Thinking of you and praying for the outcome to be positive.

Look after yourself

oh lissie

ah fucking fucking hell

look, i am not an expert, but the symtoms you describe of the high fever and sore/ swolleness don't seem reminiscent of a 'regualar' miscarraige, it as if your body is fighting of the embryo as an invader.. like fighting an infection.. i do hope you get somewhere with a consultant..

thinking of you xxxxxx

I don't know your history Queen but my friend struggled for 10 years and was eventually referred to a fabulous consultant in Nottingham who diagnosed Killer Cells. I'm sorry if you've already considered this or have a diagnosis but it basically means that her body was thinking that the embryo was a foreign body that needed to be "killed" and so she never became more than chemically pregnant. She had 1 cycle of IVF and took oral steroids for the 1st trimester and had a dd and then 2 years later another cycle and has ds. I hope this maybe useful for you and I really wish you well for the future.

thank you all,, i really do think its an immunity thing, as you say, my body sees the bean as an infection. im sure its linked to the GBS, but can I get the cons to listen? can i feck. passed a pretty big clot, but bleeding has stopped again so i will retest on weds i think.

fucking hell. I can't believe that this is happening again. what have I done wrong? I dont drink, dont smoke, dont take drugs. i have put on weight. and still my body can't hang onto a baby. it's shit and unfair.

i'm sorry Lissie. have another {{{{}}}}

So sorry Its bloody shit that the consultant won't even consider your explanation. I hope that you can get a more understanding consultant asap

Oh Lissie i am sitting here crying my heart out for you.

I am praying that all is ok and this bleeding is nothing. I know thre is nothing i can say to make you feel better but i wish there was and i wish there was something i could do to help you, to give you the baby you so deserve.

And you are so right you DO NOT deserve this, you have done nothing wrong i promise you that and you are a great mum to your DS life is just so fucking unfair and for you.

i'm really sorry. Please see a good consultant and try to get the immunity/killer cells testing - if you can afford it. sadly very expensive.

Im in shock. I thought this one was so promising, part of me wishes i could just lose hope and give up.