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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is he??

90 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 03/04/2010 21:33

DP came in from work at around 4.15, I had only got in about 4pm. Anyway there was no dinner ready as I had been out and about. So he came in and made himself a vesta chow mein (

OP posts:
iamwhatiamwhatiam · 03/04/2010 21:35

I don't really get it, sorry.

Maybe a little bit of an overreaction on your part? You could have asked him if the lasagne was for you, or asked him to get you one.

He shouldn't haven been so rude though.

peggotty · 03/04/2010 21:36

Have you been niggling at each other about other things i.e just not getting on at the moment?

MiladyDeWinter · 03/04/2010 21:36

YANBU he is an arse. Is he always like this?

stoppinattwo · 03/04/2010 21:36

it sounds a little like a carry over from a previous arguement???

RealityIsWalking100K · 03/04/2010 21:38

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BessieBoots · 03/04/2010 21:40

He should not have told you to go fuck yourself.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 03/04/2010 21:40

Not really been niggling at eachother tbh.
he came home from work moody no idea why because when i asked him he said nothing was wrong.
We had arranged a day out and everything was fine until I mentioned the fact that he had had 2 meals, which tbh although i never said to him i found greedy.

The only thing i can think is he is still moody since i have put him and I on a diet.

He needs it more than me but I have decided to join him so he doesn't see it as me getting at him.

OP posts:
loolop · 03/04/2010 21:40

All sounds very strange! I have to ask - what is 'vesta' chow mein???? How old is ds2? Sounds like your dh did over react though.

thisisyesterday · 03/04/2010 21:41

you both are

you or he could have cooked for BOTH of you to start with but you chose to cook separately.

you chose to give half of yours to your son, rather than giving him his own food

your dp then chose to make himself some more food, and instead of asking him to do you some you waited until he'd finished then laid into him!

so... i can ssee it from both sides. think you need more communication! making a proper dinner that ALL of you eat. no letting the children "nick your dinner again" etc etc

Maleeka · 03/04/2010 21:41

Ok its a bit much to tell you to go fuck yourself, but he's a bloke, not a mind reader.

It probably didnt even occur to him that you would want some of the lasagne, so why didnt you just ask him for some before he scoffed the lot?

It does sound tho as this was the straw that broke the camels back tho, did you have a bit of a row earlier?

LaDiDaDi · 03/04/2010 21:41

Why didn't you ask for a bit of his lasagne?

iamwhatiamwhatiam · 03/04/2010 21:42

"i have put him and I on a diet"

How old is he? 9?

That makes you sound really controlling, I think there's a lot more to it than this.

RealityIsWalking100K · 03/04/2010 21:43

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maduggar · 03/04/2010 21:44

YABU putting him on a diet against hiw will!

Could you imagine the outrage if a woman posted that her DH had put her on an enforced diet?

Maleeka · 03/04/2010 21:45

You do realise that you cant put a grown man on a diet??? He'll lose the weight when he wants to, believe me i know it!

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 03/04/2010 21:45

Reality, he had already said when ds2 was eating my dinner, I will give him some of mine when it is cooked.

I am not mad or hard work, fgs he has every meal cooked for him and when DS2 picks at his meals I always do him a little something extra.

I am not too bothered about the lasagne not being for me it was more the fact he didn't offer and then went into a strop over me saying you didn't offer me any.

OP posts:
maduggar · 03/04/2010 21:46

If your son is begging for your dinner after only having a sandwoch for his tea, I think its a sign you are probably under-feeding him.

Maleeka · 03/04/2010 21:47

Ah well you didnt say that before did ya!

maduggar · 03/04/2010 21:48

I think Id get in a strop if DP started maoning that I hadnt shared my dinner with him, after he had just eaten his own.

springlambanana · 03/04/2010 21:49

It all seems a bit random TBH

If you were both working till 4 then why didnt you eat together as a family at say 5 o'clock.

You could have all had lasagne together, no bickering and no-one going hungry.

RealityIsWalking100K · 03/04/2010 21:52

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dearprudence · 03/04/2010 21:53

Fault on both sides, if you ask me.

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 03/04/2010 21:53

You've put him on a diet?

Well, that's probably why he's pissed off with you, tbh.

And really, you waited until he was nearly done before glaring at him? Were you huffing and fuffing as well? Why not just say, when he sat down with it "ooh, can I nick a bit?"

I think he was unreasonable to swear at you.

I also think he didn't do it out of nowhere, and suspect you were giving him looks, or making disapproving sounds

You have put him on a diet, so he'll be sensing you watching every mouthful, so he'll be on the defensive.

Really, I think you created a problem by glaring and expecting an offer, rather than grabbing a fork and saying "budge up sexy, let's share"

loolop · 03/04/2010 21:54

I'm confused,you said in your op that when he got up to make another one you thought it was for you. Then your last post you said your h said that ds could have some of HIS when it was cooked. So surely you knew while it was cooking it wasn't for you? Sorry if I've misinterpreted

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 03/04/2010 21:54

Loo, it is a ready meal of sorts. I have never eaten one and have no intention of doing so either.

I have to point out that DS2 had had his dinner and is far from underfed trust me today he has had weetabix, toast and marmite, pita bread humous, tomato, crisps, boiled egg, and then fish fingers and mash. But he does love lasagne so asked for a bit of that.

I didn't lay into him I made a comment, calmly he was the one who went off on one.

I have put us both on a diet because he at 5ft 9" is almost 19st and as he drives for a living doesn't get much exercise. and also has health issues which he has been told are not helped by his weight.

we have not had a row at all, we have been getting on really well. thats why i was shocked and upset by this.

Think I have replied to everything but if i missed anything sorry

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