'...it makes me think of Baby P'

[elportodelgato]

had an awful run-in with a woman on the bus at the weekend and just wanted to check the mn consensus... was I unreasonable to completely flip out?!

Travelling on a busy bus, Sunday morning with DD (22 mo). I got her out of the buggy to sit on my knee and she was happily looking out of the window, saying hello to people, babbling to the other baby sitting nearby etc. After about 20 mins she started to get tetchy and throwing herself around so I put her back in the buggy, mainly for her safety and also she was obvs a bit tired and needed a quiet sit down. Of course, when I strapped her in she wasn't happy about it and started having a bit of a grizzle - I was studiously trying to ignore her as she often does a bit of whining when she is over-tired and it only lasts about 30 seconds before she settles down.

At this point (DD grizzling, me ignoring her)I notice an older woman about to get off the bus, very pointedly looking at me, looking at DD and tutting loudly in our direction. I was watching her and once she had done it about 4 times I caught her eye and (this was probably my mistake) asked her if she had something to say to me. She began telling me that she would never leave a child to cry like that, that I should pick her up, that it made her so upset to hear a baby crying. I said (oh dear, red mist descending at this point) 'are you telling me what to do with my child?' to which she responded 'it makes me think of Baby P'

Now was I BU to have completely lost the plot and told her to 'fuck off you fucking bitch'?? I know I was, I shouldn't have done it, esp in front of DD, but that case really really upset me (like it upset everyone) and her comparing me and my DD to that situation just made me completely lose it. I felt like getting off the bus and telling her about all the wonderful things DD and I do together, how much fun we have, and how much I love her and would never ever hurt her. As it was, I just ended up crying on the bus and then apologising to DD, poor thing just witnessing her mother swearing at a stranger in a public place.

So what would you have done? Am I a raving lunatic?

oh wow neverchuckanokia. Is Croydon in London then? your geography needs a brush-up I think, but other than that I am absolutely loving your assumptions about what I look like / wear / eat / accent / supermarket of choice... Perhaps you'd care to tell me some more? [sniggers that neverchucka would not recognise me in rl]

@neverchuckanoki novicemama have you bin trollin?

Dont laugh at your own jokes nevechuckanokia its not in good taste. Oh scratch that I think you can laugh so will I you are bloody funny and I smell norwegian pine on this thread too TROLL anyone? and novicemama its "sarf Lunnon innit!"

stop talking to yourselfyou are fairly entertaining never so keep it up. And yes Troll sprung to mind with moi too!

Not trolling neverchucka, it happened just as I wrote in my OP, but thanks for belittling it. You don't believe that an older woman could say such a thing to me in a public place? or you don't believe that I swore at her? glad you are amusing yourself anyway, hope it doesn't happen to you anytime soon

you woz lookin for a ruck innit!

mn is so supportive these days don't you think? or was it you on the bus randomly accusing me of child murder?

Your blistering invective at OAP on the bus was "poetic" almost "Shakespearean" did you go to RADA op? > Oh and if you see a srange old lady with an evil glint in her eye JUST IGNORE HER FER CHRISSAKES! Or do you want to make summat of it?

neverchucka was (i think) originally referring to strange case where woman made up that she'd been kicked off a bus for bf in public.

i have no problem believing this happened (also live in london and suffer some bus troubles from time to time) and all sounds totally plausible - ignore 'trying to be funny' brigade novicemama!

2 wrongs dont make a righr novice ok!

novice...don't start trashing Mumsnet because of one daft poster

you have had lots of support on here, so don't be silly

neverchuck is like a rash at the moment..bringing her daftness to lots of threads

personally, she makes me larf

My boss says he need s my "daft" ideas to keep our Company afloat these days,I am just happy to don the ermine cape at ceremonials I think I look most fetching in fur. Hve you ladies got any suggestions re my hair? As you can see from my photo it needs a little zzhuzhing!

nm...check out the profile

i am going to reiterate. it is never ok to swear at an older person. no matter how vile they are being. there is always an alternative to swearing at them. and yes, it is worse to swear at an elderly person than to someone your own age. but then, i was brought up to show some respect for age. in the same way that i wouldnt swear at a seven year old, i wont swear at a seventy year old.

the op was completely out of order in her reaction to the tutting woman.

If someone made that comparison to me and DS I would probably lose it too. I think what the woman said was outrageously rude and warranted an outrageous response.

People do seem to forget that when someone is really rude it is really hard to give a measured response.

A persons character doesn't change solely because of old age. Chances are a rude old person was probably once a rude young person. We should treat all people with respect unless their behaviour means they are no longer entitled to it.I feel it is quite patronising to treat people differently only on the grounds that they are old