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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have sex infront of 18 month old

386 replies

TwoDotZero · 25/03/2010 17:30

We were having a cuddle that turned into a bit of a quickie. Ds was playing in his room and occasionally sticking his head around the door but generally not paying much attention to us.

Afterwards I turned around and came face to face with ds sitting on our bed, reading a book and showing me a picture.

He didn't seem at all bothered.
Thoughts?

OP posts:
ocdgirl · 25/03/2010 19:07

why do people keep saying "accidently walked in" ?? they both knew he was poppinhg in and out which is why i think it's sick

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 25/03/2010 19:09

Why is it 'sick'? What's going to happen to him if he sees his parents under the duvet moving around a bit? Will he spontaneously combust? Or maybe randomly go and sexually assault his teddies?

FFS! A bit misguided, maybe, but sick???

PixieOnaLeaf · 25/03/2010 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsTicklemouseWantsBunnyEars · 25/03/2010 19:10

MrsWobble, i think that is different, this wasn't in any way necessary, discreet or accidental, like Minnie said surely they could have controlled themselves, it is not hard to only do it when DCs are asleep

like others i get the impressin of 'wild doggy style legs akimbo sex' not 'missionary cuddling'!

StuffedFullOfNothing · 25/03/2010 19:11

One of the common denominators in the background of juvenile criminals is that they were exposed to sexual activity at a young age, be it porn or feckless adults shagging in front of them. In layman's terms, it fucks them up.

Which is why this should not happen again.

Lizzylou · 25/03/2010 19:13

I am not a nutter Mrs Wobble and I can completely understand someone being caught in the act. Once,

To carry on though is downright wierd.

ocdgirl · 25/03/2010 19:14

also op doesn't say it was discreet under the duvet so how do we know it was ? but even if it was it's still wrong imo

TheCatAteMyGymsuit · 25/03/2010 19:15

Mrs Wobble you don't think it's inappropriate to have sex in the same room as your children?

Jeez I am happy to be prudish then.
And so half the world do it because they have no choice - two wrongs don't make a right.
I do actually thin it's pretty sick to not even care about this. Not paedo sick, no, just repellant somehow.

juicy12 · 25/03/2010 19:16

Mrs Wobble, I'm not sure the point about many people living in one room has much relevance here. DH and I have as healthy attitude to sex as the next swingers couple, but there's a time and place, no? And while your 18mo is pottering around is definitely not it! OP's not coming back, is she?

ShadeofViolet · 25/03/2010 19:17

I cant believe some of you think this is okay It wasnt an accident, they knew he was 'popping in' every so often.

Also, I cant believe that him coming in didnt put you off - it would snatch the moment away from me quicker than a bucket of cold water!

BitOfFun · 25/03/2010 19:18

I don't think sex under the duvet is anything like sitting the toddler in front of a porno. As MrsWobble says, most families in the world live like this. There is nothing in the OP to suggest it was anything other than that.

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 25/03/2010 19:18

Right, I am not saying that it's not misguided and rather inappropriate - just not 'sick' and 'an offense' and all the other accusations that have been levelled at the OP!

And Lizzy - you are a complete nutter, and you know it!

ScreaminEagle · 25/03/2010 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 25/03/2010 19:21

"MrsWobble - would you sit your children down in front of porn, then? Because it is the same thing. I have a perfectly healthy attitude towards sex, thankyou very much, that doesn't mean I would want any of my children, be they 15 or 3, to watch me 'at it'. "

Seriously? You seriously think that what I've said in any way suggests that I think that sitting children in front of porn would be appropriate?

I think the OP has written a very stupid thread title as I hope she meant that she and hubby were having a discrete quickie under the duvet while toddler was in and out of the room. He's not going to have seen anything other than a bit of movement under the duvet.

Lizzylou · 25/03/2010 19:24

Mrs W, yep, that may be true , but I cannot understand how anyone could carry on after being caught once, let alone letting themselves go so much they didn't notice he was on the same bed!

I don't think it abuse or paedophilia but it isn't right, not by a long stretch

Northernlurker · 25/03/2010 19:24

I really don't think the rest of the world is having sex under the duvet. The duvet is a wonderful lovely thing but not a universal item!

SalFresco · 25/03/2010 19:25

I couldn't have an uninterrupted poo when DS1 was this age, let alone have sex. He couldn' entertain himself for a second though. so putting myself in this situation makes it quite blee!

Showing affection is fine. Walking round naked is fine. Having a quickie whilst DC's sleeping - fine. But children should not be exposed to adult sexual behaviour, IMO.

Also, I don't think the point about people in other parts of the world having to live in one room and carry on their sex lives in the presence of their children is really a defence - presumably families in those situations have to have sex in the presence of their older children as well as their toddlers - I doubt there are many people that would be happy to go at it in front of their 8,9, or 10 year old?!

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 25/03/2010 19:26

Ok, NL, under the banana leaves then

Lizzy - yes, I agree, I couldn't have done it. I just disagree that it's going to harm the child in any way!

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 25/03/2010 19:27

SalFresco - my point is that the world's children don't grow up scarred by knowing about sex. I should imagine most parents do what they can to limit sex in front of children, but when you're sleeping in a room with all your children present, it's going to be completely impossible to prevent them seeing sometimes, and, somehow, they survive.

scoutliam · 25/03/2010 19:29

I agree the there is a hell of a lot of overreaction on this thread. The child was not forced or enticed to watch a sex act, so it is absolutely not an offence or abuse.
It was as far as I can see a minor faux pas which is highly unlikely to cause any harm.
I really feel for the op following some of the ridiculous hysterical accusatory posts on here.

Original poster
TwoDotZero · 25/03/2010 19:32

Ok, well I didn't expect opinion to be so uniform. Fair enough I did ask.

I'd like to say that it wasn't 'porn' like, we were under the covers having a cuddle so he didn't see any thing specific.

It does feel that we are at the end of the oblivious stage.

Thanks for your comments

OP posts:
BritFish · 25/03/2010 19:32

the OP hasn't returned.
hmm.
yawn wake me up when it disintegrates into hysterical peado-screaming.
oh wait it already did

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 25/03/2010 19:35

Hello OP. Sorry you've been attacked so horribly. Bloody well done you for coming back!

BooyhooNOTboohoooORbooyou · 25/03/2010 19:36

Op i would have believed it was discreet, under-the-duvet sex if you had posted it in the OP rather than after the numerous posts that suggested it would be preferable.

moomaa · 25/03/2010 19:42

I think it was silly to leave the 18 month old totally unattended.

FWIW I saw my parents immediately after sex one day (Dad on way to bathroom ) and I didn't twig what had been going on until I was much older. I just thought it a bit odd at the time.

Can someone explain for me why some people don't want their children to know about sex in any shape or form? I wouldn't do it in front of my child but if they walked in my room late at night and they saw I wouldn't be concerned. I currently intend to be totally frank with my children about where babies come from and want to know if there's any reason why I shouldn't. Main reason is that I don't want him to learn the facts of the life from the playground as I did aged 9.