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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or more am I being stupid?

176 replies

stressedatnetball · 24/03/2010 06:06

I am in a nasty situation at the moment whereby I have found myself arrested and I am currently on bail for an accusation of fraud by position because I paid for my old netball teams affiliation on my credit card and then when peoples cheques for their contribution were paid into netball teams bank account I took back money to pay off my credit card which was agreed as a team this is how it would work but one malicious woman has told the police she did not agree etc etc so as treasurer i have now been framed. I have not slept for last 10 days or so whilst all this is being investigated as even though I have done nothing wrong I feel unsettled.

I am a childminder. On monday I lost my full timer as her mum left college, Yesterday I had a lot of stress as the parents often bring sick children to me e.g. sickness & diarrhoea anyway yesterday I felt enough was enough as two children came in like that and the mother lied to me so I gave notice to all my under 5's as I can't afford to pay my assistant anymore and I just felt it was more stress but have I been stupid whilst so much else is going on in my life?

OP posts:
MuthaHubbard · 27/03/2010 10:16

glad the sergeant called back and explained things better for you and hope it put your mind at rest a little.

officers do tend to forget sometimes that not everyone knows the procedures and therefore worry about the unknown.

as he said, you are innocent and hopefully cps will also be able to see there is no need for further action.

Original poster
stressedatnetball · 27/03/2010 10:20

gonna take my kids out for the day see if i can distract myself that way

OP posts:
PeedOffWithNits · 27/03/2010 10:26

crikey OP this sounds like a ludicrous situation. I am ALWAYS doing stuff liek that - ordering craft supplies in for Rainbows and then taking the money back when people pay their subs.

I cannot beleive it has got this far TBH, assuming you have paperwork to proove everything that has happened

Original poster
stressedatnetball · 27/03/2010 16:20

yes i have paperwork and police have copies as well i believe the hold up maybe cause the evil cow that made the allegation went on holiday and now has dvt and can't fly back

OP posts:
jallsort80 · 27/03/2010 16:38

I really feel for you and want to give you a big HUG.

Please come back on Tuesday and let us know how it went as i'm sure you will be celebrating and this vindictive woman will lose her position on the team for being such an idiot!!!! She will lose out and I expect the parents of the children you CM will have respect for you standing your ground over illness and coping with everything else.

ElleBing · 27/03/2010 17:01

Some might say that evil woman getting DVT was a little present from the karma fairy silly mare.

It's vile, living with something hanging over your head like this. My little brother got arrested when he was at uni for "sexual harrassment" for wolf-whistling at a female lecturer when plastered in the S.U bar. Stupid of him, I know but the poor boy was shitting himself for about 2 weeks whilst it was "investigated" and he was worried about being chucked off his degree etc etc. Totally disprortionate to his misdemeanour, I'm sure that all of us bar the fiercest feminists would agree Anyway, I digress but the point I'm trying to make is that the police will have to do their work whether they think it is a waste of time (like they did with my little bro') or not and it's shit for you waiting. However, it's the wait that'll be worse than the outcome, I'd be willing to bet. You're sweating over this and the likelihood will be NFA.

I hope that stupid woman is happy with herself anyway. WTF has she gained from this, apart from a misplaced sense of superiority? Unless she takes pleasure in other people's discomfort in which case she'll be at orgasm point by now.

ElleBing · 27/03/2010 17:02

Sorry for the dreadful spelling of disproportionate, ffs.

Original poster
stressedatnetball · 27/03/2010 17:36

jallsort80 thanks I need hugs I will let you know what happens when I return but obviously it may not be tuesday I can post

ElleBing I thought karma too wished worse on her as well but it also annoying to have to be stressed because they can't speak to her tell her she is a selfish cow and clear all this up

OP posts:
ElleBing · 27/03/2010 17:54

Well just take some comfort in the fact that the mierable old witch probably has very sore legs and probably has a lot of time on her hands to ruminate on what trouble she has caused (if she has any conscience)

I hope everything works out for you, I'm confident that it will. The police are probably miffed at having their time wasted with such a petty thing.

Bit of a lighthearted similarity with something that happened with me at my saturday job many moons ago when I was 17... i worked in a photo-processing lab and tbh it was a very relaxed atmosphere, manager used to give his mates free piccys and it was accepted that the odd freebie to a friend wouldn't hurt anyone. UNTIL one day I gave one of my friends a free wallet of piccys and the assistant manager who was a bit of an arse told head office on me and I got suspended. The HO sent me a letter saying that they were telling the police and I'd probably end up in court, maybe facing custody. I CRAPPED my pants for about 3 months until they wrote to me saying "NFA" I was convinced I was going to do hard time in a Bad Girls-style jail for giving away a wallet of £2.99 pictures, LOL!

Not that I'm comparing your misdemeanour to mine; I was totally in the wrong. Just trying to illustrate that the fear is worse than the outcome. Hahaha, I've made my brother and i sound like a right pair of small-time Kray twins

Original poster
stressedatnetball · 27/03/2010 17:59

ElleBing your story has put a smile on my face especially you two being like the kray twins.

I think the solicitor telling me i could get 12 years was the bit that scared me most.

dp's mum aged 76 said yesterday if they do rearrest me she will storm down there and tell them I am the most honest person she knows that also made me

OP posts:
ElleBing · 27/03/2010 18:13

Twelve years is the worst case scenario. Worst case usually only happens to people with previous form which I am assuming you don't have due to being a CM. Your character will work in your favour, so should any assertions from associates from your netball group that this is a practice agreed upon by a number of you.

I know it's easier said than done but TRY not to worry about it as much as you can. Judges (assuming it would get to court, highly unlikely IMO) rarely throw mothers of good character and standing into prison for something as fucking ridiculous as this. What sort of a justice system would jail someone for twelve years for something as ridiculous as this yet a rapist gets six? It's not gonna happen, love

JazzieJeff · 27/03/2010 18:39

Oh you poor, poor thing What on earth was that stupid cow thinking, going to the police with something like that? Because clearly, the case is going to be dropped and then there is going to be some kind of retribution. Because I was your friend, I would totally take a sh1t through her letterbox. At the very least.
P.S. I'm actually a nice girl, quite well brought up but, you know, times must and all that. Good luck xx

ElleBing · 27/03/2010 18:44

BTW (sorry to keep harping on, but this has cheesed me off a bit) but isn't this akin to paying for, say travel expenses, out of your own purse then re-claiming via expenses at work? No-one has ended up out of pocket so it's not fraudulent, is it? Fraud is when you're scamming some unfortunate out of their dough, which as far as I can see, you've not done.

I hate this woman on your behalf. Do you want me to duff her up? JOKE

Original poster
stressedatnetball · 27/03/2010 18:50

ElleBing

OP posts:
bintofbohemia · 27/03/2010 18:54

How awful, what is this woman's problem? Why does she want to set you up? Is she just a total nutter?

MrsVidic · 27/03/2010 18:59

Just my oppinion as a police officer (but I have never dealt with this scieareo before) I think you will be fine.

I remember your post when it happened- this woman sounds so vindictive- did you explain her nature/ behaviour towards you to the police?

Pikelit · 27/03/2010 19:02

I have been arrested - political stuff - and can assure you that "arrested" and "charged" are two very different things. The Police don't usually rush to make criminals out of ordinary people let alone innocent ones.

However, the police are most likely to refer the case to the CPS who (based on the supporting documentation) will decide whether there is a case to answer, and if there is, whether it would be in the public interest to bring a prosecution.

The CPS have limited enough resources to go after guilty people, let alone take innocent ones through the court. But do be prepared for this to take longer than a week or so to sort out because of the workload that the CPS are always processing.

In the meantime, don't do anything reckless regarding work.

Original poster
stressedatnetball · 27/03/2010 19:07

I told the police how she made me feel but did not go into too much detail regarding the harrassing phonecalls etc.

I hope the fact she had not told them about me paying the affiliation fees at all has spoke loads for her being dishonest etc.

I took copies of receipts and invoices for whole time I was treasurer but they only wanted copies of my receipt for affiliation as I think this instantly discredited case.

I also mentioned on tape how hard it had been to retrieve the duplicate receipts because I had sent her originals and that she had told various organisations e.g. England netball that I had stolen the money.

I did not mention she stole money from her previous team as i was advised by solicitor not to as it could be construed as hearsay as I was told by league treasurer not because I was a member of team or saw the books

OP posts:
Pikelit · 27/03/2010 19:17

You did have a solicitor present during your interview, I hope.

Original poster
stressedatnetball · 27/03/2010 19:20

yes solicitor present throughout

OP posts:
violetqueen · 27/03/2010 19:29

Am hoping like Pikelit that you were and are being properly represented .
I wasn't ( too intimidated by whole police thing ,and they also advised against representation " Oh you wont need that .")
so I just agreed with everything they said so that I could get out of there - and of course have ended up with a caution and a record.
Think the police are driven by getting through their paperwork - it's like a train has been set in motion and they just want it finished ,they don't really care about the rights and wrongs .
Sorry to post this ,but my case came about through a vindicative person as well.
If I had my time again I'd have had a solicitor with me .

LesbianMummy1 · 27/03/2010 19:41

have name changed back as wanted to update on other threads and was getting confusing name changing every time

Yes I have got solicitor they seem to be doing all they can and I have spoke to them 5 times this week already will see on tuesday whether they are best solicitors or not if they are not I guess I will have to find another company the solicitor I had was a consultant I don't understand what that means but I have spoke to two others in their crime section who seem to also be positive this will all be thrown out

ElleBing · 27/03/2010 19:42

Violetqueen is right.

When my little brother got arrested for being pretty much a rapist (lol) the police officer who arrested him told my mum that if it had happened ten years ago, he'd have laughed little bro' out of the police station but because a complaint had been made, one sheet of paperwork set of a chain of paperwork that required completion before the case could either be dropped or brother could be charged. The police could be a bit more sympathetic with you but I suppose they deal with loads of people fretting about arrests etc so they become desensitised to how worrying being on the wrong side of the law can be to someone like you actually is.

A friend of mine got into a scrap in a nightclub a few years back (classy I know but she didn't start it, honest guv') and she hit a woman back who tried to headbutt her (pffft) and my friend got arrested. To cut a long story short, she got cautioned 6 weeks later but the poor love lost about 2 stone in that 6 weeks. The police just laughed at her whenever she rang to ask about the progress with the CPS. But it all came good as she had no previous.

Right, definitely NOT sharing more stories about my family and friends. I'm certainly giving off a bad impression!

LesbianMummy1 · 27/03/2010 19:47

yes i lost weight to shame i have to go through the stress of it all otherwise I would say half a stone gone 5 to go

ElleBing · 27/03/2010 19:51

Every cloud, lovey. I might try "fraud" if it'll help shift these bloody lovehandles ;)