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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking Mumsnet is not what it was?

381 replies

TurnOutTheLight · 22/03/2010 19:52

I have been a poster here for seven years, my first post was asking for help after a DX on DS1 regarding medication, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who took the time to respond and give advice and share stories.
I remember there being a lot of jokes and support, one poster who lost family in 9/11 was an inspiration and at any time day or night there was someone about for a chat, it made night feed more fun.

Yes there were times when people "fell out" this is life, and the odd nut job who tried to convince people that 4 times the amount of calpol was safe but on the whole it was a nice place to be, however just lately (mostly since AIBU was added) it seems people are getting really nasty.

No longer can you have a good debate with out the usual stupidness and name calling, if you question immigration there is no debate you just get called racist, people with problems get called troll, the term Jog on is used daily as is daily mail reader, and I ask myself when did this site become a playground with the childish name calling, where are all the grown up, funny, articulate women who you could have a grown up discussions with.

It is so boring seeing the same old faces spouting the same old crap lines.

I guess someone will say if I don't like it leave, and I just might do that as mumsnet is not the place it was

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 22/03/2010 23:35

"Can we have a white only thread incase Im accidently talking to freckled people.

We can all stay in there nice and separate from the redheads and the like."

No No No. We have to repatriate all the frecklies and ginger people so that MN can be clean and freckle/ginger free.

You do know that those freckled and ginger people are taking away our jobs and houses, as well as our forum. There's only one way for this intolerable situation to be eased.

BitOfFun · 22/03/2010 23:35

justsue, try to chill out- you sound like you're having a dreadful time. I'm sure I've seen you around, and I'll wave to you next time I see you, ok?

It can be great on here sometimes- you just have to find your feet.

ToccataAndFudge · 22/03/2010 23:36

yes well it's all very well coming back with a new name, but as I said in my last post if you're not well known and well liked and you actually need some support and start a thread as such you're either a troll or ignored.

It is rather like the school playground (either mum's at gate or kids inside), you can be known by lots of people, they'll say hello, but if you're not "in" then you're largely left to on your own.

If you're popular enough then you'll get a bit more support, won't get ignored etc etc

oldenglishspangles · 22/03/2010 23:37

Tocatta missed the off that post. Justsue, we all do it

Quattrocento · 22/03/2010 23:38

By the way, if we get rid of all the freckled people, will we have got rid of all the ginger people by definition? I think so. All ginger people have freckles, don't they?

I don't think it works the other way around though. I have definitely seen people in the street who had freckles who weren't ginger.

GetOrfMoiLand · 22/03/2010 23:43

Justsue - it does take ages to get recognised. I was here for bloody ages feeling I was just talking nonsense away to myself (what's new?) and it took a while to get a response.

I think that is just the nature of forums like this - not that I know, MN is the only one I have ever used.

So don't feel like you are being ignored - people aren't doing it deliberately.

I still feel a newbie as well fwiw, have been here about 3.5 years. To be honest It hink MN is better than it used to be - less cliquiness.

NickGriffinBMP · 22/03/2010 23:44

Welcome to the twilight zone

GetOrfMoiLand · 22/03/2010 23:45

So Justsue don't feel like that - I am sure people will recongise you a bit more on the other threads. Don't take it personally - this place is great and there are some lovely people on here

BitOfFun · 22/03/2010 23:45

Tocatta- that's just not true. I can think of loads of threads in Relationships etc where the OP has received loads of support without being previously known. Absolutely loads.

oldenglishspangles · 22/03/2010 23:49

Tocatta I hope you feel less sidelined am off to get some shuteye as I should have done an hour ago.

ToccataAndFudge · 22/03/2010 23:52

if you say so BoF

frakkinaround · 22/03/2010 23:53

In some ways it's nice to be a relative unknown. You observe and occasionally join in, people vaguely recognise the name so they don't accuse you of being a troll but neither do they smooch you senseless. Tis a good place to be

chipmonkey · 22/03/2010 23:54

justsue, sorry to hear you're having a bad time with your Dad.
I does take forever to be recognised. On my first post I was told to "read the archives" even though I didn't know how to find the archives. But I have made some good friends on here, (though never met one yet!) and have had some great support. Stick around!

hairymelons · 22/03/2010 23:58

It's true Toccata, I don't answer threads depending on whether I recognise the name or not, just whether or not I have anything to add.

I can't believe people do that actually, especially in the breast & bottle feeding threads when it's often new parents struggling etc.

I think that's where you see the best of MN, people will rush in to help. Have a look sometime, you might be surprised.

ToccataAndFudge · 23/03/2010 00:01

well it's certainly what i've seen certainly recently, wasn't like that when I joined 5+yrs ago.

true it's grown, if you don't have an title that really stands out and makes people stop, or the things I mentioned below.........

justsue · 23/03/2010 00:03

OMG now you have reduced me to tears there was me thinking that no one gived a fuck and of course some do Maybe I should keep my thoughts to myself at this time, mm that is wise lol

hairymelons · 23/03/2010 00:13

Seriously Toccata, have a look the feeding/ childbirth/ mental health/ relationship threads (see where I hang out, I am a barrel of laughs) and you will see that the kindness of strangers abounds.

Now, if you are spending your time with the good time gals in chat/ AIBU you will get cheeky banter. I find it funny, mostly. Some people find it crass/ harsh/ whatever.

If it's getting you down, don't spend time there. In fact, OP, same goes. There's plenty of loveliness to be found, you've just got to pick your threads.

Tortington · 23/03/2010 00:15

its like shopping in the right shops

AIBU =primark.

hth

hairymelons · 23/03/2010 00:15

I'll let this go in a minute promise, I have a bee in my bonnet now...

No-one knows who the fuck I am (why would they? there are a million mn users) but I have started 2 threads this evening, one about swimming cossies, another about SPD. I've had loads of kind and helpful answers to both. So you're wrong, ner, ner, ner.

I'm off to bed too, good night all.

ToccataAndFudge · 23/03/2010 00:15

well I guess I'd best fuck off then, don't like to post about some stuff in the other boards because in chat I know it will disappear

Onestonetogo · 23/03/2010 00:17

YANBU. I totally get what you say. Yes there are supportive threads full od advice. But you try and talk about anything in the news or current affairs and every word you say is twisted by some other poster and thrown back at you, with a dose of .

And you can't say anything vaguely funny without someone having a hissy over it and declaring themselves "offended" or "insulted". Why is everyone's personal offence threshold so low? When did we have to start not being able to joke at all in case someone with no sense of humour gets all touchy? These are the ones who, then, turn nasty against you.

Oh well, don't know if it makes sense to you!

hairymelons · 23/03/2010 00:20

Custardo

Good housekeeping = Reiss?

As in, I've admired from afar but will never go in. I'm too low rent.

hairymelons · 23/03/2010 00:25

Don't want anyone to fuck off, that's not what I meant!

I was just pointing out that there's still a lot that's good on mn. As well as some less pretty stuff.

ToccataAndFudge · 23/03/2010 00:45

yes - if youre the right person, or have a catchy enough thread title.

Whoever it is (actually I think there's a few of them) who always post to say that people shouldn't use online as a support but should find help offline are right.

I should just switch of the computer until things are sorted.

So I shall, fuck knows how long that's going to be mind.

BitOfFun · 23/03/2010 00:53

About three days, if I recall your previous form

Take care though x