to tell my sister she cannot breing her 8mo baby to our Grandmothers funeral?

[BattyKoda]

She says she can't leave her for 2 days. She's travelling with us and it's too far to do it in a day. She's insistant.
It will cause havoc with travel/sleeping arrangements and will put more pressure on my DM who is finding it all hard enough as it is.

YABU. Who are you to tell your sister what to do?

You have decided one thing re your children, she another for hers. So?

I would think having a baby to fuss over and for all the relatives to admire will be a bit of a distraction for your poor mother.

unnecessary Mutt - the OP is grieving for her DGM as well.

I'm sure your sister is not going to dump her baby on your mother at a funeral. It really is your sisters choice and you need to respect whatever she wishes to do.

Stay out of it.

YABVVVVVVVVVU

people cant just drop their babies at will!!!!

OK. There is nowhere for her DD to sleep, there is no room in the car. She expecting everyone else to deal with - and pay for - all this.

I have an 8 month old. I wouldn't leave him overnight. No way.

Not your choice. Butt out.

Ok Batty, you're sounding like a bit of a control freak now. Really, let them sort it out for themselves. What you do is your business.

Now, what's this really about because you sound hugely resentful of your sister.

Well in that case your sister has to promise to take all responsibility for the baby for the entire 2 days. Granny won't be in a fit state to babysit or to even take much notice of the child. And your sis will have to sleep with her in her bed or on the floor next to the bed. When I had babies we never used a travel cot just co-slept.

Whatever happens your mum must not be given any more stress. But surely your sis is grown-up enough to see that?

Why cant the great grandaughter be at the funeral? We had one at my Aunts funeral,,it was lovely.Its nothing to do with you, stop being so bossy.

no room in the car...can she get a taxi?

no room at the house....make some??

Is your sister a mnetter?
I do hope she's not upset about all this and wondering if she's BU

I very sadly had to go to two funerals before my ds1 was even 3 months old. It never occured to me not to take him, we were paying our respects as a family and he was part of my family. I did have to take him out at one of the funerals and wait at the back. Not one person even for a moment suggested we did the wrong thing. In fact, for a lot of people they liked seing a baby who is so happily oblivious to the sadness around them. I probably wouldn't take either son now though as they are rowdy toddlers, but I would have no problem if someone else did.

The food thing sounds like you're grasping at straws - your sister could easily take snacks to give her dd straight after the service, nobody could possibly object to that surely?

A prize cow?? Thanks!!

I am asking because my Dad has called me because he can't deal with it, he is worried about the extra stress on my mum, and hasn't told her yet. Originally she was leaving her DD, but she has changed her mind. I am not controlling, I'm trying to take the burden off my parents, they have enough to deal with.

i took my 9 month old (at the time) dd to my grandad's funeral. it was at a crematorium and i gave a reading during the service. i really don't get why people consider babies/children at funerals to be a problem. circle of life mean anything? i would think if your sister does bring her baby she will be fully prepared with snacks, toys etc, it's not really your problem. think you're winding yourself up here about something you should just leave well alone.

Ormrenewed - this is the prob, she rarely takes full responsibilty.

Whoever asked if she could get a taxi - it is a 5 and half hours drive away.

YABVU - it's not your choice at all. Your dgm has died and you would be starting a family row.

Sorry for your loss.

i think the baby will be fine at the funeral, i took ds2 to my grandmothers funeral when he was 8 wks old, tbh it was actually nice for my family and friends etc, that although we were mourning grandma, that there was another new baby in the family as well.

i had to take him as he was bfeeding and have never been able to leave any of mine for a night or two till they were over 2 yrs ish due to bfeeding.

8mths is still very young, i am sure it will be fine, my ds got lots of cuddles and smiles etc, it really did make a difference to people having a baby there.

your sisters baby is too young to be upset by being at a funeral or crematarium and tbh i think its better for kids to be involved in these things anyway.

I took my 4-month old baby to my dad's funeral service. It was lovely for some of his older friends and relatives to see a baby there - a reminder that life goes on.

Your sis must be grieving too, she might want her baby there to give her comfort. Try seeing this from her POV or butt out.

Blimey, talk about pulling together as a family!

I think there are deeper issues here than whether your sisters brings her DD to a funeral (on which point you are being VERY unreasonable).

Off for a shower............no doubt when I return some of the actual truth here may be out for us......

Can you or can you not fit the car seat into your car? How many people will be in the car?

Could you maybe help her with the baby to ensure that your mum is never left to entertain her.