stopping my kids going to a Catholic Church

[jennyslinger]

I know religion is contentious so I'd like to say up front that I am a confirmed atheist and my DH is a confirmed catholic. This is not about the rights or wrongs of believing in god.

DH wants DS and DD (when she's 4yo) to go to our local Cathocis church to attend sunday school and get involved with other church activities.

I have read so much over the last few years about the child abuse cover-up in the Catholic Church. For this reason I have told DH and his family that the kids will not be going.

DH says I am fussing over nothing.

I asked DH he knew a nursery had covered up child abuse would he be happy with the kids going. He says this is not the same.

Am I being unreasonable?

Don't be fooled into thinking that child abuse doesn't happen in state schools.

My mum used to work in a state primary school and a male teacher was dismissed for taking girls into the games storage room.

People became suspicious when he never asked any of the boys to help with sports equipment.

Paedophiles are everywhere in society and the best thing we can do is teach our children to be strong and confident not to be frightened to go anywhere in case something happens to them.

I firmly believe that paedophiles are drawn to occupations that involve close contact with children.

That may be priests, socialworkers, teachers, youthleaders. etc.

It's not the occupation that turns them into paedophiles, they consciously seek out these occupations.

OP, the best way to protect your children is to ensure they are confident well adjusted children.

A paedophile can spot a weak child within five minutes of meeting them.

I note that this is the OP's first ever post.

Wake up and smell the coffee people.

First time poster = tick

Inflammatory first post = tick

My troll-o-meter is going off the scale here.........

C'mon folks - get a grip

Frankly I can't understand why anyone would want to be a member of the Catholic Church.

Any organization whose hierarchy condones and covers up years of abuse in the way that it has done - and continues to do - would not have my support.

Rejessta,that is an utterly disgraceful thing to suggest.

Rejessta - your post is ridiculous and offensive. Over the last century (when the known abuses took place) there have been billions of Catholics worldwide of whom only a tiny portion knew about/condoned/covered up or perpetrated those abuses. It is no more acceptable to call all Catholics to account than it is to call all Irish people to account which could also be inferred by your rather fatuous argument.

I'm off to work out how to report your post...I've not done it before but I think comparing Catholics to Nazis to more than I can stomach.

Child sexual abuse happens everywhere. Catholics are not more or less likely to abuse simply because they are Catholics. As long as you are satisfied their policies and procedures promote safety for the children then it could be nice for them to go to sunday school.

YABU, judgemental, offensive, paranoid and ridiculous.

Ive attended many catholic churches and never seen a sunday school,the children are encouraged to sit through mass and participate.

If the OP means the classes that prepare the children for the holy sacraments these are usually run by class teachers anyway.

"to condemn all catholics is ridiculous. It's up there with "all muslims are terrorists" "

I believe OP has doubts about the Catholic Church as an organisation, and not "all Catholics".

I agree, actually. Nothing would make me trust DC in the hands of an organisation so morally corrupt as to have systematically covered up the sexual abuse of children over many decades and places.

Why would anyone want to be a member of the Catholic Church?

I am another Irish ex-Catholic whose children will be raised C of E but this is offensive.

As many have said, it wouldn't be allowed if it referenced another religion.

Catholicism is a huge part of the culture of many countries: it is not an 'organisation' you walk away from because of these issues, serious as they are.

I no longer practice Catholicism but it is in my blood and my heritage. Like many Irish people, I have many relatives who are priests and good men. It is a huge Church. There were sickening acts committed and the cover up was appalling BUT you can't say it was 'systemic' or speak of the Church as some sort of paedophile ring. Many, many members truly had no idea that this was going on.

I think this is a difficult OP to really believe or understand, partly because of the faulty logic, but also because baptism cannot go ahead without a priest at least speaking to non-faith parents (were concerns never raised by the OP?), and I don't know how it works in other religions, but in Catholicism is is the matrilineal side that takes responsibility for the children's religious upbringing: it's unusual for an atheist mother to have her children baptized, to say the least. And I have never heard of a Catholic Sunday School either.

If this is real, is it the principle that the bigwigs of the church covered up abuse, or that you think all Catholics are somehow more likely to be pervs? Because if it's the first- you should have spoken up earlier: this issue has been common knowledge for YEARS. And if it's the second, you'd better just keep them indoors with you and your side of the family forever, just to be safe. Oh, except that children are more likely to be abused in families than anywhere else. Perhaps you shouldn't have got married and had kids then? That is shoring up an evil institution, by your logic, or at least putting children in a potentially vulnerable position.

You make no sense. And I don't believe you are a genuine poster, sorry- this is just too silly.

Yes, didn't you know all Catholics have been abused by every single Priest that has EVER been ordained

FFS! Get a grip! There have been cases yes, but guess what, I and every other Catholic I know has made it through without suffering anything so I find the sweeping comments hurtful and ignorant.

OP - you are a troll or a bigot. Which?

'If you are a Catholic then you are a member of a global organisation that systematically raped and abused children. You are a co-conspirator and you ARE responsible. If you give money to the church you do so in the full knowledge that it will go toward financing a continuing campaign to suppress knowledge of child abuse.'

Seriously? Shall I go and whip myself right now for what Britain did in India too? Or will you be doing that for us all?

It's funny how people seem to think the church (and I mean that broadly, all denominations included) doesn't do any good. A story from Australia which would apply here too if it happened. The government decided to stop churches being tax exempt. The leaders from each denomination got together and went to speak with the government. They said that it was fine by them to pay tax but they would withdraw all funding to anything outside the church. On reflection the government realised the economy really could not handle the churches pulling out and decided to keep them tax free.

What happens when there's a disaster in the world in my church and many is we get a text telling us there will be a second offering. Usually we at least match the normal offering. At Christmas we called a shelter and asked if we could help them. We all did something from buying supplies to scrubbing toilets (that was the pastor).

I don't go for something to do on a Sunday and even if I did, so what?

I'm mostly surprised that the OP's husband actually married the OP, if she's a convinced atheist and he's a confirmed Catholic. For them to have been married legally in Catholic eyes, shouldn't she have converted?

I think this says far more about the OP's relationship with her DH, and that there are things they need to talk about, than anything else.

I can't imagine why any man would want to marry a women who only seems to have one, very lonely, brain cell.

I don't think the reasons for your worries are relevant. You're their mum and if you really aren't happy, then you and your dh need to be able to find a compromise that you are comfortable with.

It's not the hideous fact that some catholic priests abused their position of power and abused children that's the issue here. There are bad people in any organization. It's the fact that the Church hierarchy - right up to the top - consistently condoned and covered it up. And even now those people are still excusing their behaviour, and some are still saying that they would not report a priest to the police if they had evidence that he had abused a child.

THAT"S why I wouldn't want to be a member of the Catholic Church.

I'm an atheist but was brought up as a catholic. If I were married to a catholic and he wanted to bring our kids up to go to church I wouldn't have a problem with that.

I enjoyed the 'community' aspect of religion when I was a child. It's a pretty uplifting thing.

The OP's reasoning is silly. I do hate ignorant atheists, it gives the rest of us a bad name!

Totally agree with Jollypirate a few posts back. I think this is a deliberately inflammetory post, and highly offensive to the many victims of abuse in the Catholic church.

You have a lot of issues, imo, but GENUINE concern that your kids will be abused today, 2010, with all of the legislation thats in place is laughable.

I have read the thread - I think the Catholic church is just about the only "mainstream" denomination that I've never been a part of (brought up and confirmed as a Methodist, flitted between the Baptists, the Church of Scotland, United Reform etc etc in my teens and now firmly CoE).

About the op

But

"I can't imagine why any man would want to marry a women who only seems to have one, very lonely, brain cell."

• I just spat coffee on my keyboard when reading that PMSL.