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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

stopping my kids going to a Catholic Church

576 replies

jennyslinger · 17/03/2010 22:57

I know religion is contentious so I'd like to say up front that I am a confirmed atheist and my DH is a confirmed catholic. This is not about the rights or wrongs of believing in god.

DH wants DS and DD (when she's 4yo) to go to our local Cathocis church to attend sunday school and get involved with other church activities.

I have read so much over the last few years about the child abuse cover-up in the Catholic Church. For this reason I have told DH and his family that the kids will not be going.

DH says I am fussing over nothing.

I asked DH he knew a nursery had covered up child abuse would he be happy with the kids going. He says this is not the same.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
nickschick · 17/03/2010 23:28

This is ridiculous.

I wasnt aware of any catholic sunday schools anyway.

Im a catholic,so are my Dc and no matter what your religion or what your beliefs are sometimes to a child knowing there might be a God can be a tremendous help.

Our priest is so wary of any sexual innuendo that he doesnt even have the children remove sweatshirts under their altar serving gowns.

In the hot summer he asked me if I would just go and check that the servers werent going to collapse with all their layers of clothing on.

What is the world coming to.

If the battle to not have them baptised wasnt worth it - then I hardly think you can go against it now.

oliviacrumble · 17/03/2010 23:31

Changing to a YABU! Sorry, was all set for a full-on debate here, and didn't realise that your issue was LITERALLY that your kids might be abused in the highly protective world we live in today.

Am v suspicious that this is a "joke", and if so you are doing a huge disservice to the many victims of clerical sex abuse. Grow up if it's not a joke!

tapeworm · 17/03/2010 23:32

Is this really about you feeling a bit daft about getting them baptised and promising to raise them in faith and not being able to articulate your actual objections very well so you are making out that you are taking the high road rather than coming up with a reasoned theological arguement?

Monty27CeadMileFailte · 17/03/2010 23:32

You sound very immature and bigoted.
Grow up.

Monty27CeadMileFailte · 17/03/2010 23:32

That was to OP.

Original poster
jennyslinger · 17/03/2010 23:39

Not sure why I get abuse for asking an opinion?

I can't be the only person questioning whether to send their kids to Catechism class after all the headlines?

OP posts:
spiderpig8 · 17/03/2010 23:42

This isn't about abuse, is it? Its about your DCs taking your husbands faith. As a devout Catholic himself, you must have known that your DH would be expecting that the DC would be brought up Catolic too.You should have been having these discussions long before you were married let alone sperm meeting egg.

Original poster
jennyslinger · 17/03/2010 23:47

for the record - DH nor most of his family actually go to mass every week - so its not like I expected them to have to go either.

OP posts:
Monty100 · 17/03/2010 23:49

JS
So, what about other headlines in the news? Do you let them outside of the house at all??

Original poster
jennyslinger · 17/03/2010 23:52

I'm not aware of any oschool or scouts or other youth organisation systematically covering up decades of child abuse in multiple countries - and promoting the people that are known to have done it.

Maybe you could enlighten me?

OP posts:
claw3 · 17/03/2010 23:53

Your DH and all his family are Catholics and im assuming they have never abused, that must be of some comfort?

claw3 · 17/03/2010 23:54

never been abused sorry

tapeworm · 17/03/2010 23:54

You are getting abuse because people have been beaten and raped in children's homes over a period of years and had their lives destroyed and you are trivialising their pain and using their suffering because you don't want your children to be Catholics, not because you fear someone will try and have sex with them in a room full of other people when they are 10 feet away from their own father.

Original poster
jennyslinger · 18/03/2010 00:01

I think you are trivializing the failure of the organisation to deal with paedophiles for decades.

For that reason I do not trust the Catholic Church as an organised religion.

The dogmatic and angry attitudes in this thead has confirmed what I thought. They can believe in god as they please. They are not going to a Catholic Church.

OP posts:
Monty100 · 18/03/2010 00:03

JS - was that to me? Enlighten you?

I doubt it. If your dh can't do it.

Monty100 · 18/03/2010 00:04

I feel sorry for your children, reading your last post to which I cross posted. And your dh for that matter.

Dogmatic? Who?

SulisMum · 18/03/2010 00:08

Hello new on here, but i'll get stuck right in.

I personally wouldn't send my kids to a Catholic Church because of its complete rejection all forms of birth control, including condoms for Aids sufferers. How many people have been condemned to death because of that?
Also rejection of homosexuals, marginalisation of women who want to be priests, etc, etc. Anyone read Richard Dawkins?

Monty100 · 18/03/2010 00:12

Welcome Sulis - (and to a large extent I would agree with you) but they are not the OP's reservations. The OP's reservation is child abuse.

SulisMum · 18/03/2010 00:15

Fair point

Original poster
jennyslinger · 18/03/2010 00:16

to clarify, OPs reservation is an organisation that systematically covered up child abuse for decades in multiple countries.

OP posts:
claw3 · 18/03/2010 00:16

I wouldnt send my kids to Catholic Church, firstly because we are not Catholic and secondly for all the reasons we are not Catholic. Child abuse is not top of my list.

SolidGoldBrass · 18/03/2010 00:18

OP YABU if you are being that hysterically frightened of kiddy-fiddling priests, especially these days. Nonces are active in other places. Especially within the family.
YANBU for not wanting your kids indoctrinated with Catholicism, I wouldn't send my DS to any kind of religious organisatin either because I don't want him fed a load of homopobic, woman-hating irrational bullshit.
Mind you, I wouldn't marry a religious person either.

LeSingeEstDansLarbre · 18/03/2010 00:18

i think you could make the case that some councils in charge of childrens care homes certainly turned a blind eye and ignored testimony, yes. so you won't be letting them go to a council-run establishment such as school or nursery?

Tortington · 18/03/2010 00:19

they are so many safeguards in place these days. i remember asking a priest to have a word with my son then 14ish. he said he wouldn't be prepared to do it without being accompanied.

Monty100 · 18/03/2010 00:23

JS - indeed they did. And it is truly vile. But your argument not to send your children to mass or belong to the Catholic church doesn't stand. It won't happen to your dc's, ok you might take this stand because it has happened to others in the past. But, if you don't want your children brought up Catholic, just say so. Using the abuse story as your reason doesn't really work. And you are slagging off an institution in which many people still hold strong faith.

Suli put her opinions beautifully.