stopping my kids going to a Catholic Church

[jennyslinger]

I know religion is contentious so I'd like to say up front that I am a confirmed atheist and my DH is a confirmed catholic. This is not about the rights or wrongs of believing in god.

DH wants DS and DD (when she's 4yo) to go to our local Cathocis church to attend sunday school and get involved with other church activities.

I have read so much over the last few years about the child abuse cover-up in the Catholic Church. For this reason I have told DH and his family that the kids will not be going.

DH says I am fussing over nothing.

I asked DH he knew a nursery had covered up child abuse would he be happy with the kids going. He says this is not the same.

Am I being unreasonable?

Cross posts - LeSing, Custy and SG - well, you wouldn't let your dc's out the door, not even to school, if you were that protective would you?

I don't even know what to say to you op. Never before have I come across such an uneducated, bigoted person as you and by God I've met some. Your poor poor children are going to learn to be lovely human beings with you to guide them. Best you keep them at home all their lives then lest they come into contact with other people.

I'm so angry I'm shaking. This place is attracting some real weirdos at the moment...

RB - me too.

The op made me quite cross, I've had to show compassion.

So you have no problem with your children being Catholic, you just dont want them going to church?

OP - how old are they? If you don't mind me asking. Have they been baptised? If you don't mind me asking.

YANBU, have you seen the application to join up? "At what age do you prefer your boys?"

/end sarcasm

I am a Christian who hates a lot of Catholic practices, I know there have been bad things happen in the past but there really isn't any sort of entry requirement that means priests have to be paedophile.

The minister who Dedicated me was done 15-20 years ago for child abuse, his youth pastor apparently didn't know about it but has been in trouble in more recent years for similar offences. I still had Baby Dedicated in the same denomination a few weeks ago.

BTW the CRB thing is universal, everyone who does Sunday School or Youth is expected to be CRB checked.

Good on you Monty, you're a better woman than me. I find it hard to respond rationally to someone that can tar over a billion people with one brush.

It took some doing Rock. Its too ridiculous to even take seriously really.

Don;t get angry with me because you are Catholic and I won't let my kids near your blessed Church. The Church that is responsible for allowing abuse to continue.

I'm 39. I was baptised an Anglican and read Arthur C Clarke from about 12yo. He sums it up very well... "Science can destroy religion by ignoring it as well as by disproving its tenets. No one ever demonstrated, so far as I am aware, the non-existence of Zeus or Thor - but they have few followers now."

I think it will be pretty straightforward to allow my kids to make up their own mind about whether they believe in god, santa, thor or zeus.

I'm more just really don't trust or believe anything the Catholic Church says about cleaning up its act.

If you are in any doubt at the scale of the issue maybe read this?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_Catholic_sex_abuse_cases_by_country

I don't think this is about paedophilia, I think this is about religion.

You needed to work this out with your DH before, but it's never too late. The problem with most organised religion is that believers consider that they have an obligation to bring up their children in that belief. If you are a card-carrying atheist this is a head-fuck, and you'll instinctively pull away from it.

So, how to resolve? I'd suggest that you buy time. Time for your DCs to make their own minds up as to whether or not they want to follow this religion. Find a middle ground with your DH. Say no to Sunday school but take them to the odd mass and explain that you believe something different to your DH. Enable them to find their own path.

Good luck

oh my kids - DS is 4 and DD is 2

JS - probably most of us on here already know about the abuse to which you refer. (I haven't tried the link).

But you're argument is flawed and it is with your dh not us.

For your sake, I'd say something more sensible to your dh.

Maybe I'm mistaken. Religion and a belief in god is not synonymous with belonging to an organised religion and attending mass?

Quattro - exactly, if the issue is the religion, then just say so.

JS - I would agree with that.

Off to bed.

Night all.

Religion and God are very personal things JS and mean different things to different people.

There have been good and bad linked to all religions over the years. Live and let live is my opinion.

I guess mostly about the Catholic Church not any belief system. I find it hard to believe that any sane person would maintain links with an organisation that is so morally corrupt that from its most senior levels it hides systematic child abuse for decades across the globe. That doesn't sound like any teaching of the bible I have ever heard.

Then again I;m not Catholic so its easy for me.

JS you are entitled to your opinion. I dont believe in any God or any faith, but i dont condemn anyone who does.

I think people who do condemn other peoples beliefs and feel the need to spread the word, are just as bad as the bible bashers to be honest.

Each to their own. Peace out, im off to bed too.

But, JS, the vast majority of ordinary Catholics knew nothing about these abuse cases. I'll happily tar and feather every churchman who did have some knowledge of it, and passed it by, but it's really not fair to blame all Catholics. And, as I said earlier, people in the Catholic Church are probably more aware now of child-abuse issues than most atm.

I am an atheist.

I think the OP has a point in disapproving of the Catholic church, which has an inherently very unhealthy attitude towards sex (and women) which explains the institutionalised abuse of children over the past century. There are, however, plenty of individual catholics who are not only completely opposed to child abuse but actively engaged in trying to bring Catholicism into the civilised world present day and, you know, hang on to the 'beliving-in-god' bit and bin the sexism, homophobia, child abuse, anti-semitism and dubious criminal links.
While my personal opinion is that they are wasting their time and should just bin the entire ludicrous business of believing in imaginary beings anyway and stick to doing pro-social and charitable work, it's fundamentally unfair to tar them all with the same brush as the top-end nonce-protectors and crooks.

tar and feather them all ;-P

SGB- I have to say I find your post a bit offensive and insulting to my intelligence.

I don't - its the first post that seems to be completely right.

Listening to people say they are shaking with anger because someone has an opinion other than their own is rather pathetic.

I also liked Quattrocento answer - wait until they are old enough to choose themselves. Until then they can go to mass with DH as he chooses and no kids activities.

Wasn't there a lot of child abuse going on in the Church of England church as well?

Also at the boarding schools that parents sent their children away to at 7 years of age.

If you read history books from the turn of the last century it becomes obvious that child abuse was rife in every second household.

Mum would end up having 10 or 11 chldren, dad would come home drunk from the pub and end up abusing eldest daughters.

At least that is the impression I get.