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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect 11 year olds to use the loo properly?

154 replies

Alouiseg · 06/03/2010 21:47

Ds2 has 2 friends for a dreaded sleepover. They are both in year 7 at ds2 new school. They both live fairly close to us, one over the fence and one 2 miles away.

I just went up to check on the state of play and found a lump of poo in the toilet bowl and a lump of poo on the bathroom floor!!!!! I am horrified. I cleaned up then spoke to all 3 boys very strongly. I pointed out that I had cleared up the disgusting mess in the bathroom and if it happens again I will be driving everyone home. I didn't ask for an admission but I am shocked beyond belief. I feel sorry for ds2 who will be mortified that one of his friends did that.

I don't really want anyone here now and wondering what to say to the parents, one of which hasn't even contacted me to confirm that her ds is staying here for the night. So bloody cross.

OP posts:
damnedchilblains · 07/03/2010 20:01

"at the end of the day it is just a bit of child's poo" what???? A child of 11 eats what an adult eats, once on solids poo is poo. I agree with the op I would have been fuming and actually I think you handled it pretty well. You would have embarrassed the culprit yes, but you didn't point him out and have a go at him specifically. Also what did he think was going to happen??? Unless he had special needs I don't think your response was inappropriate.

I'm seriously disgusted. But I do think the boys would have guessed between them which one it was, and like dolphin said (the only thing I actually agreed with but good point) maybe the little shitter will be gossiped about in school. I do hope not, because he will feel shit enough (ok no more shit puns ). He probably won't come back to yours.

pointylog · 07/03/2010 20:06

homage

GermanMum101 · 07/03/2010 20:06

Thank you for this, I had a rather crappy day but this just cheered me up!

I think you are right to tell them off, a mouse sized poo is just too gross. Also the not looking into the bowl as in whether it is clean etc. Just gross. I know 2 year olds better than that. You telling them in this way ight teach them to be more careful.

I am sorry, I am off now to tell DP about the rights of poo

damnedchilblains · 07/03/2010 20:08

I am howling with laughter though, this really will be a classic. Howdy ho rofl

crankytwanky · 07/03/2010 20:08

So, perhaps boy 1 left the poo on the side. It happens. He may not be versed in lavatory-cleaning etiquette.
Cue boy 2 coming in to relieve himself. Maybe he was horrified at your scuzzy loo so "hovered", thus a wee turdlet escaped unnoticed, and was kicked into the centre of the room in his eagerness to resume his playdate.

FWIW, I would be too embarrassed to speak to the poor boys like that.

pointylog · 07/03/2010 20:11

Re feeling sorry for your son that one of his friends did that. My dds would be much more mortified that I gave her and her pals a big row for a poo accident.

Crikey, they would never live that down.

DramaInPyjamas · 07/03/2010 20:15

I do agree with the OP that it is disgusting to find a random shite.
I just don't agree with the way she handled the whole situation.

Which ever of the THREE boys did it (I still stand by my opinion that it could've been her own son) they will be embarassed, you might have ruined their friendships or even really knocked their confidence.

Original poster
Alouiseg · 07/03/2010 20:21

So how should I have handled it all you critics?????

OP posts:
crankytwanky · 07/03/2010 20:23

Melonian, I feel your DH's pain.
First day of a new job, old battleaxe style woman came out of loo fuming that someone had left a nugget behind the toilet.
"Who would do such a thing" she was saying. "I don't know anyone who would be so disgusting"...
Of course no-one actually accused me, but I know what they were thinking. I got transferred very quickly.
(It wasn't me btw!)

oldenglishspangles · 07/03/2010 20:31

Nothing to add apart from thanks for the entertainment.

dolphin13 · 07/03/2010 20:32

It is gross but I would have just cleaned it up and not said anything to the boys.
But thanks I am crying with laughter. Sooooo funny.

BritFish · 07/03/2010 20:43

MrsMargate
Ignore the 'but what if' brigade. I'm willing to bet if I started a thread called 'My ds's 11 year old mate has stabbed me in the head and eaten the kitten, was I out of order to have spoken to him sternly?' I would get a load of replies calling me a bitch and declaring I didn't KNOW if he had SN/a bad upbringing/didn't understand it's wrong because it's not HIS fault because he is a CHILD.

i have never been more tempted to start a thread about a thread. never a truer word spoken.
sometimes...just sometimes....kids CHOOSE TO DO THIS STUFF.

paisleyleaf · 07/03/2010 20:44

I'm feeling sorry for the lad
and really trying to imagine what sort of problem he was having for that to happen
....but I'm stumped.

CoupleofKooks · 07/03/2010 20:49

"how should I have handled it?"

with a rubber glove?

arf

no seriously, just get rid of it and flush it and forget about it
oh but tell your dh at tea time "guess what one of those little sods did" and have a LOL together

that;s it

CoupleofKooks · 07/03/2010 20:51

and pointy your namechange is a corker

MmeLindt · 07/03/2010 20:52

Alouise, I would recommend getting this sign for the door of the bathroom.

I do agree that it was disgusting but I would not have embarrassed the boy in front of his friends.

Although at that age they are just as likely to be high-five-ing each other and congratulating the champion poo-er.

pointylog · 07/03/2010 20:56

how you should have handled it:

fuck me. Is that poo on the floor? [Peers] Holy cow! Euurrgh.

[Picks up poo piece with toilet roll wad. Gets cloth and a dod of cleaning liquid for quick rub down of affected area. Rush to find dh and dd1 in order to laugh uproariously]

pointylog · 07/03/2010 20:57

thank you kooks. I like it

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 07/03/2010 21:02

Lurked at the start of the thread, and am now joining the others who say that your reaction was OTT. Yes, it was a disgusting state to leave the loo in, but ranting and raving like that just makes you look like a loon. I'd have done what CoupleofKooks suggested, and not made anyone feel embarrassed - or at least, not to that extent. Boys are disgusting creatures generally - I have 2 (12 and 3), and there is nothing funnier than what comes out of your bum. Apparently.

Wormwood · 07/03/2010 21:05

Message deleted

CheeryCherry · 07/03/2010 21:16

'I'm no Einstein but I understand the principle of aim and shit.' rofl MrsM!
Funny funny funny!
This thread is good shit!

Feelingoptimistic · 07/03/2010 22:07

I can't believe I am reading this thread, but I need a bit of entertainment...

However, I do honestly think that there are some children who are not tought how to use the toilet properly.

fallon8 · 07/03/2010 22:17

are you absolutley sure it wasnt your own kid and it was mucking about,which went badly wrong?

duchesse · 07/03/2010 22:28

We used to have a phantom pooer at the school I worked at. Judging by the size of the turds involved it would have been a 14-15-16 yr old, pretty much full grown. I wish I could say that the person doing was it not NT but unfortunately they just pretty standard teenagers attempting to piss everyone off. Other groups used to dismantle the U bend in the boys' loo next to my room and then all piss in it before pulling the chain. It all used to seep through the wall into my classroom. Teenagers can behave like animals in groups. Worse than animals in fact because there aren't many animals that will deliberately foul their own surroundings. You would be surprised how badly some kids behave at school. I wouldn't be surprised if some of this behaviour could be transferred to outside school if they are with mates from school.

Ariesgirl · 07/03/2010 22:40

In my experience as a youth worker and a teacher, the way many children and teenagers treat toilets is absolutely bloody vile and it's a way of humiliating the people who have to clear it up. One of the chalets where I worked had 12 13-year old lads staying in it and we found shampoo bottle lids they'd crapped in and hidden under the beds for us to hide after they left and the walls were covered in urine. That school was never allowed back again and if I'd had my way, the little swine would have had to clear the lot up. I think if I was the OP, I would have made them clear it up (obviously not my son).