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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect 11 year olds to use the loo properly?

154 replies

Alouiseg · 06/03/2010 21:47

Ds2 has 2 friends for a dreaded sleepover. They are both in year 7 at ds2 new school. They both live fairly close to us, one over the fence and one 2 miles away.

I just went up to check on the state of play and found a lump of poo in the toilet bowl and a lump of poo on the bathroom floor!!!!! I am horrified. I cleaned up then spoke to all 3 boys very strongly. I pointed out that I had cleared up the disgusting mess in the bathroom and if it happens again I will be driving everyone home. I didn't ask for an admission but I am shocked beyond belief. I feel sorry for ds2 who will be mortified that one of his friends did that.

I don't really want anyone here now and wondering what to say to the parents, one of which hasn't even contacted me to confirm that her ds is staying here for the night. So bloody cross.

OP posts:
CoupleofKooks · 07/03/2010 18:33

yeah, that's what i said, exactly
i said my husband shits on the floor and doesn't clean it up
you didn't exaggerate or make that up, at all

Original poster
Alouiseg · 07/03/2010 18:34

Great idea! Perhaps I'll open a sewage treatment works instead.

Childs poo is one thing, these lads are big kids.

My standards, and those of my dh and 2 ds are clearly higher than the poo defenders.

OP posts:
MrsMargate · 07/03/2010 18:36

Alouiseq

I would've been livid too.

Ignore the 'but what if' brigade. I'm willing to bet if I started a thread called 'My ds's 11 year old mate has stabbed me in the head and eaten the kitten, was I out of order to have spoken to him sternly?' I would get a load of replies calling me a bitch and declaring I didn't KNOW if he had SN/a bad upbringing/didn't understand it's wrong because it's not HIS fault because he is a CHILD.

I think shiteing on someone's floor deserves a telling off. Or should all children be smiled at indulgently and whispered 'oh darling please don't' to, in case it traumatised them?

CoupleofKooks · 07/03/2010 18:36

yep, i think your standards are higher
i also think you've got a pole up your arse

MrsMargate · 07/03/2010 18:38

lol at poo defenders

Alouiseq let's not go round to their houses.

"I want to do a poo at Paul's house"
"Why darling?"
"Because there no one minds if I dump me turd on the fucking floor, mum."

CoupleofKooks · 07/03/2010 18:38

so, people who would have been 'livid'
you are saying that you think this child pooed on your floor ON PURPOSE? you think he thought "i know what, Alousieq has invited me for a sleepover but i think she's a nob, so i will poo on her floor"

???

really???
you don't think it might have been a mistake?

CoupleofKooks · 07/03/2010 18:40

sorry for typo btw
i didn't mean to get your name wrong

MrsMargate · 07/03/2010 18:41

Not deliberate.

But ffs watch where you're shiteing, kid. And wipe up after you.

PixieOnaLeaf · 07/03/2010 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Alouiseg · 07/03/2010 18:45

Thank you Mrs M.

My house, my hygiene, my rules.

I guarantee they won't poo on my floor again.

OP posts:
abbierhodes · 07/03/2010 18:46

Mrsmargate that made me LOL!

I can't believe people think it's OK for an 11 year old to leave shit on the floor. If someone has an accident, fair enough, but clean it up.

My DH has never left my toilet in a mess. If my DSs wee on the seat or anything like that they wipe it with a bit of tissue. Anything more difficult to clean up they come and get me. They are 3 and 4.

DramaInPyjamas · 07/03/2010 18:46

What? So just because your son done a shit after breakfast means that he won't need one again later? Over excitement at having his friends over maybe?
Bet you anything that it was your son that did it. You've been too quick to judge and blame the other boys without finding out the facts first.

Morloth · 07/03/2010 18:47

It isn't the poo-ing on the floor I have a problem with, accidents happen to best of us.

But not cleaning it up after yourself is rank, who did they think was going to clean it up?

PixieOnaLeaf · 07/03/2010 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nannynobnobs · 07/03/2010 18:49

How could you not notice if you pooed on the floor?! And even my 3yoDD knows that the toilet gets flushed.
I think you were right- you didn't scream and shout, but made it clear that it was unacceptable. You didn't interrogate them or demand answers, and let them carry on their night. I can't see how it's bullying or humiliating.

hatesponge · 07/03/2010 18:51

I suspect it was not deliberate.

I dont think I would have been livid over what was at worse them being careless - I'm actually not sure I would even have mentioned it, in the same way as I wouldnt mention it if there was wee on the toilet seat (which there always is in my house, part of being a mother of 2 boys). It's not like the child squatted down and deliberately crapped on your floor....

laydeestardust · 07/03/2010 18:52

DISCLAIMER - I've only skimmed the thread but think you need to chiiiillllll!

Yukky and careless I agree but seriously not the end of the world.

Also you have no way at all of knowing it was not your own DS who made a bit of a mistake maybe because he was rushing a bit due to the excitement of having a sleepover and forgot to maintain his normal er high standards

I'd have cleaned it up and said nothing till after the sleepover when I'd have quietly asked DS if he'd had any poo issues -if he seemed genuinely perplexed you'd have definitely known where to point the finger.

DramaInPyjamas · 07/03/2010 18:53

Yes, all three were told off.. But then she comes on the internet saying how disgusting the other boys were and how it couldn't possibly be her own precious son..

hatesponge · 07/03/2010 18:55

As to how you might not notice, surely that depends on the size of the poo....if its a raisin, might go unnoticed, but if its more what my dad used to refer to as a battleship thats a different story

Morloth · 07/03/2010 18:56

I don't get how telling kids off for leaving a mess in the bathroom is bullying. Isn't it just parenting? I mean this is pretty basic stuff isn't it? Don't leave crap for other people to clean up if you can help it?

MrsMargate · 07/03/2010 18:59

The children are 11/12, not 3/4.

Different ball game, innit.

And maybe it was her ds but I find it hard to believe that the first time the kid shites on teh bathroom floor is when his mates are over - added to which she says he'll be 'mortified' that she told them all off, which, to me, says he's unlikely to do something that'll bring about a telling off in teh first place.

And as for coming onto the internet to go yeuch - well what else is the internet for?

mablemurple · 07/03/2010 19:00

All of the posters outraged that the op spoke to all three boys very strongly (note, not shouted) because one of them thought it was ok to leave shit on the floor (however it got there) are exactly why "...boys (and probably men, tbh) are pretty rubbish about being neat and clean in the toilet".

pointydog · 07/03/2010 19:02

what a strange op.

I would assume the poo had ended up on the floor by accident, probably unnoticed. I would not embarrass a kid by giving them a rollicking.

pointydog · 07/03/2010 19:03

My dds regularly forget to flush the toilet and they are 13 and 11.

MrsMargate · 07/03/2010 19:05

HOW does a poo end up on the floor by accident?

WHO can't position their arse correctly on a loo seat? I mean, I'm no Einstein but I understand the principle of aim and shit.