Is my dh being unreasonable to not one to serve a b/feeding mother at the counter???

[twotimes]

Twas talking to the dh this morning when he brought up an incident that happened in work the other day. He was working in a a well known mobile phone shop behind the counter when a woman came in with her daughter and her three kids. Both the women were at the counter discussing mobile options with dh whilst two of the children were running around the shop. All of a sudden mid conversation dh turned to get a phone and when he had turned back the daughter had whopped them out and started b/feeding. And he hasten's to add - with absolutely no modesty, just in her full glory. I should note, the baby was *not8 crying or making a sound before hand. Was he being unreasonable to be mortified??????

Now this isn't completely serious, he wasn't rude, he just carried on serving but felt the need to tell me about it later. He isn't a prude, I b/fed both dc's and all his family b/feed that isn't the issue. What he keeps going on about, is that "she didn't even cover".

At first I just pissed my self laughing (I could literally imagine his face) but then I thought seriously, people should be able to b/feed but at a counter in a shop, with no discretion?

IMHO if no one would object to a baby being bottle fed in a given situation, then they should not object to a baby being breast fed either. I've not heard anyone accusing bottle-feeders of "not being discrete enough"...

Very jealous of woman being able to b/f standing up though. I b/f DD for 17 months & DS for 16months & never did get the hang of it...

I've had wine. It makes me brave eloquent.

"I would argue that perhaps discretion actually helps BF as a 'cause'? As in, if BF continues to be seen as the arena of militant earth mothers whopping their breats out and embarrassing passers by (I'm not saying that those who breastfeed are like this before I get lept on, I am pointing out that this is the extremety of public perception) then it will continue to be marginalised. By the majority being discreet whilst BF in public they will be slowly eating away at this perception, showing younger people that it is possible to BF in public without showing your goods to all and sundry. Therefore increasing BF across the generations and lessening the public interest in it?" Exactly MrsC2010.

I have bf my DCs in public on many occasions, but was always fairly discreet (vest pulled down, top pulled up) - didn't really have a problem with showing my boobs - but v. about revealing my saggy stretchmarked stomach .

However, I was once in a cafe where a woman very nearly took her top off, she stripped off so much to feed her baby. It just seemed completely bizarre and unnecessary. I couldn't understand why she felt she had to get almost completely naked from the waist up. We shouldn't have to apologise for bfing in public, and it should be the norm, but going to the extreme just harms 'the cause'.

Its not up to her to help or harm any cause though. Bizarre and unecessary to you, but clearly not to her.
Where do you get the idea that we're all fighting some sort of battle?

"she felt she had to get almost completely naked from the waist up."

Can you be specific? Was she naked from the waist up or not? What does 'nearly naked' mean? One breast fully exposed? Both breasts exposed? Shoulders bare?

Is this woman an 'extreme' breastfeeder?

marymotherofgod!

I wonder if anyone who is shocked by a woman breastfeeding is as disgusted by page 3, Nuts et al.
Hmm thought not.
tbh I couldn't care less ( not in a nasty way) there are far worse things happenning in the world than a woman breastfeeding.

Also good post runnybottom.

Bravo runnybottom.

Runny - genius post. Exactly what I was thinking. In fact when I was BFing, especially at the start when me and baby were just getting used to each other, it used to take a fair bit of grappling to get her latched on and I am certain a fair proportion of breast might have been exposed.

But in all honesty I didn't give a toss, I just wanted to feed my baby. Noone ever said anything to me.

Such bloody hang ups about feeding a baby FFS!!!!!!! The world is mad!

Hmm - dare I comment on a bf thread? - well only to say that I could never 'whop them out'. Most moobs, as proudly sported in beachside bars etc (and even down the local tennis club of a summers day) are bigger than anything I ever had even when bfing.

Why are you friends with that woman if you've got such a problem with seeing her tits tsc?

So she exists, the point being WHO CARES?

Exactly! She gets them out to feed her child. Well so what? Get over it people.

Sorry, I stopped reading at page 8 as it's nearly time for me to whip out my own norks, but have been regaling dh with some of the funnier comments on here e.g.

• there's an app for that
• the old person who said 'I'll have some of what he's having'
• the suggestion that you'd be less likely to have negative comments for bfip in the homebaking aisle than the beer aisle

His suggestion?

Engineering a situation for comment in M&S so, when comment was made, you could say..
'these are not just breasts.. these are the plumpest, roundest breasts, lovingly crafted from a fine diet of of cake and family sized bars of chocolate handpicked organic grains...

Ooops. Strike out didn't work. But you get the picture

ooh mrsbean, have you started a trend? will we be hearing news reports on all the MNetters who gather in the organic aisle to BF?

I don't believe I said you were hallucinating or accused you of making her up, I just asked you why you spend time with her, why you invite to her to family parties if you can't bear the sight of her breasts?

Surely if you are so right and she is so wrong then you would do your best to avoid her?

I just don't get why you invited her to your DD2s christening if you find her behaviour so despicable and she's not a friend?

I'm confused by it - you don't like the way she behaves in public, she's not a friend, but you invite her to a family event and then complain about the way she behaves.

I assume this was her you were talking about:

"At dd2's christening one lady cleared an entire table of women and children because she literally wapped her tit out and shouted her kids name across the room (using the breast as a 'lure'"

Or do you know more people like that?

No, it's not hugely relevant to the point of whether or not she exists (which as you say, I didn't raise myself) I'm just curious about why you invited her there when you find her public behaviour so inappropriate.

I wish I'd thought of using my breasts as a lure when my then 2 year old was running off! It would have worked as well, she was a right milk monster!

fifitot you could hang bells on them and jangle when it was time for lunch

Wonder of it could be cultural ?

Reading about thesecondcoming 'friend' reminded me of an article in Mothering magazine about breastfeeding in Mongolia. Here is a quote.....

"Tsetsgee had a different approach. At the first murmur of discord, she would lift her shirt and start waving her boobs around enthusiastically, calling out, "Come here, baby, look what mama's got for you!" Her son would look up from the toys to the bull's-eyes of his mother's breasts and invariably toddle over.

Success rate? 100 percent.

Not to be outdone, I adopted the same strategy. There we were, two mothers flapping our breasts like competing strippers trying to entice a client. If the grandparents were around, they'd get in on the act. The poor kids wouldn't know where to look - the reassuring fullness of their own mothers' breasts, granny's withered pancake boasting its long experience, or the strange mound of flesh granddad was squeezing up in breast envy. Try as I might, I can't picture a similar scene at a La Leche League meeting."

LOL, very interesting article.

Wonder of if it could be cultural ?

babies FAB!!

"I'll have some of what he's having"

Any suggestions for responses to this particularly offensive remark?

(I did like the M&S idea )