parenting pet peeves...

[bubbleymummy]

I know I'm going to get flamed for this but I just don't care - I have to vent somewhere after a weekend of smiling and nodding and keeping my mouth shut!

Here is a list of 'parenting' traits that I absolutely hate!

Giving babies sugar - dessert/pudding/biscuits/cake - they do not need it - they are not missing anything and they are the reason that your child is already overweight!

Shovelling food into tiny babies, scooping it up and shoving it back in when the baby's tongue pushes it out while discussing the baby's excema, constipation, tummy upsets etc

Giving toddlers fizzy drinks such as Coke and letting them run madly around before screaming at them and complaining about how badly behaved they are.

Giving children calpol because it's been a 'long day' or because they have a slight sniffle or even a hint of a temperature or just because 'they like the taste'!.

controlled crying / cry it out - I hate this at any stage but I DESPISE it in children under 6 months. I don't care if your child has been sleeping through since 5 weeks - it is bloody cruel!

and breathe....

Ok feel free to flame me or alternatively add your own pet peeves!

Disclaimer : I by no means consider myself to be a perfect parent and I could fill several threads with my own parenting flaws.

My children have all been very different and I do believe that there are many different ways of dealing with them in different circumstances to optimise family happiness. Whilst I would canvas opinions and seek out possible solutions should any of my individual children seem unsettled in any way, I would do so, posting links to expert opinions and talking about the number of qualified medical practitioners support particular theories is unconvincing (remember the MMR debacle. Incidentally I chose to have my children have the vaccine but understand why others chose the individual vaccinations).

We all know and do what we think is best for our children. This could just go on and on ad infinitum. You are not going to change each others minds on this and this argument will continue to go on and on and on...

TBH lequeen I would say 10 mins crying for a 5 month old is extended and I definitely wouldn't be able to ignore my child's cries for that long but obviously you don't agree. If I have time later I will try to find more studies that specify 'extended' periods. HAving a hectic saturday!

also wanted to say that there's a difference between a baby crying with colic/wind whatever while being soothed and comforted and a baby being left to cry by itself alone wrt stress etc.

and your studies will be perused by lequeen who will find studies that contest those studies that you have found and then... lequeen will find some more proof that CC works and you will find a child (who is exposed to numerous other influences but, maybe, has had CC at the age of 4 months who is a reprobate at age 14) and then... lequeen will find proof that those who co-sleep and whose children listen to whale music and are stroked to settle them at night still live at home and expect to be breastfed at 32 years of age, and so it goes on and on and on...On the advice of a qualified lush, go have a drink and let it go

Bubbley - do you think that three nights of CIO is more or less harmful than months of sleep deprivation for the baby and his siblings?

Stayingdavid. I'm not arguing that not sleeping is good for the baby. The baby's sleeping problems should be addressed BUT again you are suggesting that the only way to do this is by using CIO and that just isn't the only option. Lequeen said the parents tried the other methods and they didn't work but the baby was too young so they may very well have worked for the baby if they had waited until it was a more suitable age.

I'm agreeing with others here- this is just getting boring and repetitive. I can't be bothered saying the same things over and over. I think everyone is pretty aware of my opinion now so I'm moving on

Just to clarify because I have a feeling you will think I'm avoiding your question I think the 3 nights of CIO I'd harmful and unnecessary and not doing would not necessarily result in months of sleepless nights if they tried other methods when the baby was at a better age to respond.

I have a feeling you want to try to back me into another corner on this but it would be silly for you to suggest that the ONLY way the baby/parents would ever get a good night sleep would be to use CIO. Please let's stop the silliness. Everyone is getting bored. Including me!

I'd = is. Stupid iPhone

There are some interesting arguments against (and for) controlled crying/comforting, and it is not usually recommended before six months for many reasons.

I tried because I was desperate for an unbroken nights sleep, but it didn't work for us because my ds would cry/howl/be desperately distressed for hours at a time, literally hours. Not a case of 15 mins or so and then sleep. I tried it for 2 nights and couldn't do it - it was worse than the alternative.

So I don't think it's always a golden solution. Depends on the child, as always.

I was interested in this from Australian Association for Infant Mental Health Inc.
when I was looking at why it didn't work (for me). The position document cites a fair few studies on the effects of crying, it's pretty old, but still interesting.

controlled crying

very interesting quibbler - thank you for posting that.

Bubbley - I don't think I have ever said that CIO was the only way to tackle this particular baby's sleep problem - LeQueen had already said that the parents had tried all the other methods, and they hadn't worked - so in those particular circumstances, CIO was the final resort.

And if they had waited until the baby was a more suitable age, that would have meant some weeks or months more of broken sleep and sleep deprivation for the whole family, on top of the 5 months they'd already had - which adds up to a lot of sleep deprivation.

Clearly, if the baby had just started having these sleep problems at 5 months old, it would be far more reasonable to wait a while before using such a method, and to try the other methods to deal with the problem in the meantime. I do think that CC/CIO has a place as a last resort, and I don't think I have said anywhere that it is the only option - perhaps you could show me where I said that? It's just as silly for you to accuse me of saying something I didn't say as it is for anyone to suggest that CIO is the only way to deal with sleep problems.

bump for minx