to turn the hv away at the door yesterday?

[IwishIwasmoreorganised]

When she booked the appt for ds2's 18 month check for 11.30am I said yes, but did explain that ds2 had lunch about 12.00 and had his nap afterwards. She said that was fine. I also offered to go to clinic as that was what I had to do for ds1, but she said it was normal for them to visit us at home.

By 12.00 there was no sign of her so I rang her office where the clerk said she was out on her calls but she didn't know her mobile number and had no way of contacting her.
So when she turned up at 12.15pm (without a phone call to say she was running late and was it still ok) I explained that we were eating lunch (we'd not long started as had been waiting for her) then ds2 was going to bed as he was tired.

She was a little stroppy and said that she could not come out again but she had to do his developmental check and I would have to go to clinic to see her after baby clinic which I have agreed to.

AIBU to have turned her away yesterday? I think if she'd have rung to say she was running so late I could have given ds2 his lunch a little earlier and kept him up but as we had no idea if she was coming or not, I carried on as usual.

Oh all right I got it wrong! Blimey.

So actually YANBU. 45 mins late is very late. And rude. She didnt ring to expain which IMO makes a lot of difference.

If it were me though I would be annoyed but probably cave in and let her in IF I didnt have anything else to do. If I was going out or had another engagement I wouldve told her I couldnt see her.

piglet yes i agree that routines have to be adapted sometimes but the OP stated
"if she'd have rung to say she was running so late I could have given ds2 his lunch a little earlier and kept him up but as we had no idea if she was coming or not, I carried on as usual."

she clearly WAS happy to adapt her routine and only accepted the appointment at the insistance of the HV. the HV then turned up very late with little explaination and the OP had then decided to continue on with her own routine as she had no idea at that stage whether the HV was going to come or not, given the lateness and uncontactability of said HV.

Yes, the situation could have been better dealt with but the onus of blame/unreasonable-ness should not only fall on the OP. the HV acted less than professionally and she, as a trained HCP should be better able to organise her time or at least be contactable to those she is inconveniencing by her poor timekeeping.

YANBU at all. The HV was 45 mins late and never called, and you HAD offered to go to her clinic in the first place and she was the one who chose the home visit. If she thought she coulnt make it by 11.30 she should have just rescheduled the check. I would have done the same.

I haven't read any of the replies, but you risk becoming the epitome of PFB. 'Oh no! We're thirty seconds off schedule!' If you had more than one child - or indeed if you got a grip - such insane thoughts wouldn't have time to enter your head.

Yes she should have called you to explain her delay. Also, you now have to traipse to the clinic. But really?

Slamming the door in her face suggests you are utterly batshit crazy.

I'm not saying you are batshit crazy or that you are PFB - but slamming the door in someone's face for lateness will make you appear to be nuts.

What's an 18 month check?

Common curtesy seems to have died.

vivia she isnt being PFB as she is discussing her second child/DS2.

We don't even gt an 8 month check here. I'd have loved the HV to turn up to weigh the baby. Instead I had to drag three children on a 45 min walk to the docs while suffering mastitis. Never heard of an 18 month check.

That is a good point.

If OP turned up 45 mins late for an appointment at her local health centre she would have been turned away too.

Why should it be any different for a home visit?

Because generally health professionals have less time and are more likely to have an importnat and unavoidable reason fro delay.

Who said she slammed the door on her, god it's growing arms and legs now!

Nikita - do you really need to ask that?

Yes Otter I do. I think people should be treated with courtesy. If you are late (and this was 45 mins not 10 mins) least you can do is ring ahead and let someone know. In this day and age everyone has a mobile phone so no excuse for not bothering. It's just rude not to. Why is the Op's time not as important as the Hv's?

I speak as someone who after 10 years and 5 kids have never had my HV turn up on time for any appointment, either at my home or at her clinic. Never.

My lovely HV was 45 minutes late once so I rang the clinic to be told that they were all trying to find my address on an out-of-date local map. My street has been on Google Maps for three years now.

I had heard that HVs don't have to update their training, perhaps this extends to basic web usage and mobile phones

Still OP you you were a bit U.

Who the hell slammed the door on anyone?

The OP explained to the HV why she couldn't keep the appointment, the HV by the sounds of it was a little put out and said the OP would have to go to the health centre for the check.

No slamming of doors in anyones face mentioned at all!!!

Jesus talk about exagerating the facts to make a point!

Gosh this has got a bit heated!!

I can just imagine if someone came on here and said they'd had teh HV around, finally built up the courage to talk to her about having PND for example (maybe at the end of the appointment as they were nervous) and the HV said 'Oh im sorry your time's up, will see you another time bye'.

Yes, she could have called. She didnt, OP wasnt going anywhere, get a grip.

Re-posting this --

But as I said before surely this worked out for the best, as the HV could carry on to her next appointment on time and not have the knock on affect of lateness for the rest of her day. Allowing her to see someone who really needed/wanted a home visit.

I will keep repeating this point until you all agree with me!

Jaqueline it's a good point and I agree with you

RESULT Thanks Sproggle

To be honest all it prob meant that was that the HV could have a lunch break.

YABU but never mind you got your way and got to go to the clinic for your appt!

What a bloody timewaster you are and so precious! For all you know she may have been with some mother with terrible PND before coming to your house. The previous appt may have overrun due to any number of reasons but you can't even bend your child's routine a tiny bit to accommodate your HV but expect HER to accommodate your whims!! She is a busy professional with probably an excessive workload and people like you make her job even harder.

Kansas the OP had tried to contact the HV to avoid this happening, however, the HV had made herself uncontactable.

As a result of the OP's actions the HV was now free to attend her other appointments on time ensuring that families that needed the help (like the PND example you gave) got as much attention as they needed.

Every one is a winner as far as I am concerned!

Echoing PuppyMonkey what is an 18mth check? How often are these checks done? What are they for? Is like a parallel world!

OP, shit happens, people are late, was a bit rude to turn the woman away for the sake of a toddler's nap. Your life will probably be easier if you let go a bit.