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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why a midwife would offer a woman, labouring beautifully in a pool, an epidural?

338 replies

FeckinFurious · 09/02/2010 17:08

I have namechanged as I'm not sure if this is a bit obvious and I need to ensure confidentiality.

But...

I am utterly fuming.

Scenario.

Woman. Baby no 1. Labouring spontaneously in hospital, in a birth pool.

Long and painful but baby fine. Mum tired but coping, using entonox.

Midwife 1 goes off for lunch. Midwife 2 takes over.

By the time midwife 1 comes back from lunch midwife 2 has suggested an epidural to knackered, labouring woman who accepts.

within haf an hour epidural is sited and hormone drip going.

Woman is now being monitored continuously in bed.

Please comment.

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 09/02/2010 17:10

What's the problem?

Which bit are we supposed to comment on?

BrahmsThirdRacket · 09/02/2010 17:11

Maybe she thought the woman was too tired. It was offered and the woman accepted, so she obviously wanted it. What's your beef?

Original poster
FeckinFurious · 09/02/2010 17:11

why was she not supported to labour as she had chosen?

OP posts:
duchesse · 09/02/2010 17:12

Suboptimal for sure. Are you there as a birth supporter? Hope it goes well.

nellie12 · 09/02/2010 17:12

what was your role in this?

BrahmsThirdRacket · 09/02/2010 17:12

Maybe she didn't want that labour, what with the excruciating pain and all. Were you the woman?

mylifemykids · 09/02/2010 17:13

Why are you fuming?

Surely the woman birthing is capable of making a decision. After 21 hours of labour and saying I NO WAY wanted to have an epidural the MW (and a very distraught DH!) talked me into having one....I didn't get to have it in the end because DS arrived not long after I got out of the birthing pool. It didn't bother or upset me.

I don't see what the problem is as

Original poster
FeckinFurious · 09/02/2010 17:14

I was there but not in a position to over rule the midwife.

OP posts:
MaggieTaSeFuar · 09/02/2010 17:14

labouring beautifully???????

i had two horrendously painful labours and I wasn't given an epidural either time. Feckin furious I was. LOL at 'labouring beautifully'. That's like punctually tardy

Morloth · 09/02/2010 17:14

The key words in your post are "suggested" and "accepts".

Women can make their own decisions about these thing.

thighsmadeofcheddar · 09/02/2010 17:15

She could of said no. Midwife 2 didn't force her to have it. I wouldn't be utterly fuming about it to be honest.

MaggieTaSeFuar · 09/02/2010 17:16

exactly morloth. She should have been offered an epidural, and she was. She could have accepted or declined and she chose to accept. That all sounds tickety boo to me. (she probably should have been offered it sooner, that would be my only comment)

Original poster
FeckinFurious · 09/02/2010 17:16

I'm not sure that in advanced labour she was capable of making a fully informed choice. I believe her wishes to avoid intervention should have been taken into account and something she did not want should not have been offered.

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 09/02/2010 17:16

Is this one of those threads where we all have to draw the facts out of you slowly? Why not just say exactly what the issue is, and then we can comment.

A woman was offered pain relief, and she accepted it.

Which part are you fuming about?

eggontoast · 09/02/2010 17:16

If the woman had not wanted an epidural, she would not have had one, surely? Or are you saying the epidural was 'forced'?

Offered, not wrong. Forced/coerced etc. wrong.

electra · 09/02/2010 17:16

Maybe she was too tired......as someone who suffered (as did my baby) at the hands of a labour with unnecessary interventions, I would still choose an epidural if I was in labour and felt I couldn't cope.

I think you should give the woman credit for knowing what she wanted. I do think there is a problem with intervention being too easily suggested in hospitals but parents do their best with the situation they are engaged with at the time.

EleanorBuntingCupcake · 09/02/2010 17:17

did she have a healthy baby? is she healthy and happy?

MaggieTaSeFuar · 09/02/2010 17:17

I reckon OP is a new mw, 4 months in, has it all sewn up in theory, and she thinks that birthing without pain relief is an olympic sport.

MorrisZapp · 09/02/2010 17:17

Er, she did want it.

She said so.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 09/02/2010 17:17

Oh shut up. It's not for you to make judgments about other people's decision-making capabilities. Why are you so worked up? Go and find something important to be angry about.

EleanorBuntingCupcake · 09/02/2010 17:18

snort @ Olympic sport

eggontoast · 09/02/2010 17:18

'should not have been offered' as she had said she didnt want it - she has the right to change her mind once she realises how painful it gets!

MaggieTaSeFuar · 09/02/2010 17:19

FeckinFurious, every naive woman who hasn't a clue how much it hurts starts off saying they want whale music and percussion instruments in the background instead of a pain relief. Thankfully they are not all held to a decision they made before they knew firsthand what the pain would be like.

Whilst enduring the pain she made the decision to end the pain. Those were her wishes. Get over your weird painophile fetish

SoupDragon · 09/02/2010 17:19

Are you "feckingfurious" that she didn't have the birth you wanted for her...?

Morloth · 09/02/2010 17:19

Even in advanced labour women are free to choose whatever they like when it comes to their bodies. You don't have to like it, because it isn't your body.

If you had said the midwife kept insisting on an epidural and pressured the mum and eventually the mum gave in because she was distressed, well then that would be different, but you didn't say that did you?

Think about your audience here, we have all for the most part been there, we know what advanced labour can be like and we are still saying: "her choice"