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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thrad about a thread and happy todeclare it: 'everyone knows being welfare dependent is morally wrong'. No it'snot, only if you choose that. Otherwise it is luck dependent and

172 replies

BethNoireNewNameForPeachy · 09/02/2010 12:35

luck can't make you morally wrong. It just is.

If your employer goes under, you are not morally wronng.

If your pension plan colapses three years before you retire, you are not morally wrong.

If you are sick,or a carer, or any of a lot of other things- you are not morally wrong.

Passing random judgements in a way that can hurt people is, however, IMO morally wromng.

Please someone tell me why people don't just get that?

And no I don'tcare I broke MN tradition by starting a thread about a thread, first I remember breaking in nigh on a decade and am angry. Arrrrghhhhhhh.

If this gets deleted, so be it.

OP posts:
wordsonascreen · 09/02/2010 12:36

I agree

GypsyMoth · 09/02/2010 12:37

i dont understand what you're trying to say....calm down,look at your typo's!!

LadyintheRadiator · 09/02/2010 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorrisZapp · 09/02/2010 12:40

Sorry, who said that carers are morally wrong?

StrawberriesAndCherries · 09/02/2010 12:42

havent seem the thread you are on about, but yes, of course those situations are not morally wrong and randomly judging just to hurt and not help is wrong

bratnav · 09/02/2010 12:42

I agree, DH had a very well paying job, and has always had since he left college, working his way up in his profession. Until last summer he was earning close to 6 figures. He got made redundant, I was and am on mat leave. He is looking for a job still, and trying to run his own business, but currently we are having to claim HB, CTB, higher CTC than we would normally get etc etc. Are we morally wrong? No, we were unlucky.

Portofino · 09/02/2010 12:43

As far as I am concerned "Welfare" is there to help people who need it and need support from Society. If that support is life long, well that's just how it goes.

These arguments always arise because there are people who CAN help themselves but CHOOSE not to, for whatever reason. Then sweeping generalisations get made.

To me there is a big difference between the two.

IncontinentiaBotox · 09/02/2010 12:44

not really a thread about a thread, it's more of a legitimate spin-off to discuss a point made on another thread

and I agree with you, this attitude is mindless and usually the result of ignorance

GypsyMoth · 09/02/2010 12:45

ladyintheradiator....it makes no sense....where is the link!! op did say a thread about a thread...no?

deliakate · 09/02/2010 12:45

"typo's"?

Was that meant to be ironic, Tif?

FlyMeToDunoon · 09/02/2010 12:46

Having just thrashed our way through the ramifications of DP being made redundant and having to sell our house we [DP and I] have realised that although most of life is taking responsibility for you own actions some things are down to luck and cannot be controlled so....
I agree with you.

GypsyMoth · 09/02/2010 12:47

yeah...apostrophe queen!!

WhoIsAsking · 09/02/2010 12:47

It's an arrogant statement to make.

"There but for the grace of God go I" springs to mind.

BethNoireNewNameForPeachy · 09/02/2010 12:50

ILoveTiff,I cannot look at my typo's as many know as I have a VI, I acknowledge and apologise for them however.

The line in the title- about everyone knowing welfare etc- ispretty much a quiote. id didn;twant to link to actual thread as that seemed too mean but nonetheless am pissed off. Extremely. I seem to be on a loop of this and tbh have come up against it somany times that I wonder how using MN has vbecome very much akin to reading an attack on mylife many weeks.

OP posts:
pooexplosionsareimproving · 09/02/2010 12:50

What thread?

Morality is relative anyway.

Trickle · 09/02/2010 12:52

I think I know the thread you may be talking about I stopped reading and posting on it. A couple of days ago I was assured most people understand life is more complicated than DM land I'm back to not being so sure.

Do you know what in the main that thread made me wish - I want to be ignorent, desperatly desperatly want to live in that world rather than this one. TBH I think it must be lovelly even if you are struggling with money and life is hard you still don't have all the other stuff to contend with and you clearly CAN work which I want desperatly to do.

GypsyMoth · 09/02/2010 12:53

i'll take a guess of the thread you mean then,you just seemed rather angry when you typedn the title...hope whoever it was doesnt follow you onto this thread too

WhoIsAsking · 09/02/2010 12:53

Try not to take it too personally. People will always have these opinions and getting upset about that is an exercise in futility.

I think the majority of posters would not agree with such a sentiment.

(Oh, and I've been hiding threads all over the place lately!)

siblingrivalry · 09/02/2010 12:54

I'm a carer too, Bethnoire, and believe me I would love to have had a choice. Not for myself, but for my daughter not to need so much care (ASD).

I totally agree with your points and get so angry when we are tarred with the same brush as those who choose not to work etc?
There are no shades of grey to some people, unfortunately.

I 'know' you from the SN board and I think you work so hard -looking after your dc and doing your course and you always have time to help and support others on here and TTR. Please don't let the ignorance of some individuals bring you down. I know that our lives are enough of a battle without this added stress.

Northernlurker · 09/02/2010 12:54

I don't mind threads about threads but I wish people would link to the inspiring/offending thread so we can judge properly! It saves a lot of time!

BethNoireNewNameForPeachy · 09/02/2010 12:58

It does NL but heck,then I'd feel morally currupt and then who would I be to throw stones?

it'snot just carers- dad forexample at 63 lost both pensions in some massive bad luck thing not related to main pension scandal.... so is going to be welfare dependant. how could he ahd possibly predicted both companies being bought out by firms from acountry where pensions are treated as assets in a bankruptcy?

there are just somany things, and nobody is ever immune.

I know there are random peoplewith these opinions BTW, I try to tackle them one by one normally... but it was the 'everybody knows....that made me go arrrghhhh I think.
Mademefeelasif the legopitchfork brigade were headed my way forthwith.

OP posts:
madhairday · 09/02/2010 13:00

Peachy, yanbu, and in this case can be forgiven for the thread about a thread thingy.
Don't let them get to you - you know that you're doing nothing 'morally wrong'. People can be ignorant, is all.
Mind you I often feel the same as you and upset by such words. It's hard to let them be water off a ducks back sometimes.

MorrisZapp · 09/02/2010 13:02

What was the context of the quote?

What exactly was said?

onagar · 09/02/2010 13:03

Nothing morally wrong about claiming benefits. If there were then it would probably be morally wrong to offer them wouldn't it?

Anyway it's no different to paying for health insurance and then claiming if you get ill.

There is always a thread going about benefit scroungers and how unfair it is that they have wonderful holidays and own yachts etc. Except for a very few actual criminals it's all fantasy.

Generally they are based on jealousy because someone is managing better than the poster. Usually because that someone has learned to manage better after being poor a long time.

BethNoireNewNameForPeachy · 09/02/2010 13:04

It is MHD,especially on 2 hours sleep, awaiting medical results for ds1and with emergency reviews lined up.

It is rude to write people's morals off so easily though, at least I am willing to fight. There's people out there who kinda beleiveit of themselves and that sort of crap does damage.

OTOPH as Mum says,I should learn to tell people to piss off and come back when they have something intelligent to say, I know.

OP posts:
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