Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have made sausage casserole for my family despite dh saying last night he does not want it!

130 replies

Snowfun · 03/02/2010 11:55

Dh likes sausage caserole we don't have it that often last time I made it was about a month ago. Anyway last night he was adament he did not want me to cook sausage caserole but he wanted me to do toad in the hole with carrots green beans mash and gravy etc etc.

Anyway ds2 aged 2 loves sausage caserole. He is slightly off his food which is very unusual for him and so this morning I have made sausage caserole in my slow cooker. Ds2 got so excited and squealed sausage caserole!

So aibu to have done this its far easier for me anyway. Tried explaining that to dh last night too but he was absolutely adament he didn't want it! I know he'll be annoyed I cooked it and will doubtless moan!

OP posts:
EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 03/02/2010 11:56

tell him to feck off and cook his own dinner.

SoupDragon · 03/02/2010 11:57

Serve the casserole up for everyone else and give your DH a sandwich.

EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 03/02/2010 11:57

but yabu for cooking sausage casserole at all!

OrientCalf · 03/02/2010 11:58

you're doing the cooking so yanbu

There are other sausages in the world for making toad in the hole, and pleasing 2 out of 3 ain't bad, especially if he likes it usually anyway.

Perhaps toad in the hole for the weekend?

weegiemum · 03/02/2010 12:00

Make some yorkshire pudding to serve with it - he can put his own toad into the hole if he likes it that much!

mazzystartled · 03/02/2010 12:00

Whoever is doing the cooking decides what's on the menu. You could do some mash with it though as a token conciliatory gesture. If you wanted

I am pmsl at the idea that the two of you even had the conversation about what to do with your sausages.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/02/2010 12:03

my family get what I decide to cook. YANBU.

JustAnotherManicMummy · 03/02/2010 12:09

If he doesn't want it and complains I suggest you tip his portion into his lap.

That way you feel better and he actually has something to complain about. A win-win all round methinks!

ConnieComplaint · 03/02/2010 12:14

I made sausage casserole last night.

Me, dh & dd loved it.

Ds hated it.

I probably won't make it again, he eats little enough as it is... I ended up giving him my sausages as he ate them, it was just the mushrooms, onions & the sauce he hated!!!

EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 03/02/2010 12:24

to me it just looks like floating cocks casserole

coldtits · 03/02/2010 12:28

I'd not be happy if I was your husband. If I came home expecting toad in the hole and got manky sausage casserole instead, I'd be really disappointed.

You may be the one cooking it but that doesn't make you the sole contributor. He's been at work so you can pay for it - surely he gets some say in what you make with it?

stressheaderic · 03/02/2010 12:32

YANBU. He should be consider himself lucky to receive a nice home-cooked hot meal when he gets home from work. He can see to himself if he doesn't want it.

Mmmmmm I love sausage casserole

haggisaggis · 03/02/2010 12:36

Hmm - you discussed it, he said he didn't want it and you made it anyway.
I think YABU

GetOrfMoiLand · 03/02/2010 12:38

Whoeveer makes the food gets to choose what to do with it imo.

I pay for all the food and I do all the cooking and I choose - I sometimes give DD and DP options but I generally cook what i like. But I always cook something that we all like.

That said, if DP said that he really didn't want soemthing, i certainly wouldn't cook it. I think that's a bit inconsiderate tbh. It wouldn't have killed you to cook toad in the hole. Obv your 2 year old has not voiced an opinion either way.

Coldtits i agree with you but think you're going to get flamed for that one.

doesntplaywellwithothers · 03/02/2010 12:38

No...DH does not get say in what I cook. If he doesn't like what's on the table, then he can do the cooking. I don't buy this whole, 'he pays for it, so he gets some say'. Bullshit!!

I told my husband EARLY in our dating life that if he complains about what I cook, then he wears it and he can be the cook in the house. I do the shopping, the menu planning and the cooking. I know what things he won't eat, so I am considerate to those things, but beyond that...husband and children get what I cook, or they get toast!

coldtits · 03/02/2010 12:39

But it's not fair! you are 2 adults living together - would you accept him dictating your diet to you? I wouldn't accept that from my partner.

2010aQuintessentialOdyssey · 03/02/2010 12:41

gosh I never consult with dh over the cooking. He is free to request something though, he will say "I fancy gravadlax of salmon this week", so at some point in the week we will have it! Or, "honey, is there any salad?" if I have been "lazy" and not made any. And I will reply "sure, the fridge is full of green stuff" and he will go and make a salad and then sit down to eat again.

I am a terrible wife, arent I?

2010aQuintessentialOdyssey · 03/02/2010 12:42

coldtits. but if you both work. who does the cooking?

coldtits · 03/02/2010 12:43

Whoever gets to it first.

itsmeolord · 03/02/2010 12:44

I think you are being a little unreasonable.

You had a discussion last night, then you ignored that discussion. Your child would still have eaten the sausages I expect even if in a toad in the hole.

I think coldtits answer sounds a little bit "surrendered wife" though. He pays for it?? So how about the op refuses to lift a finger around the house and do any childcare, after all, if she is not being paid for it why should she bother?
bOLLOCKS.
bOTH parties are contributing to the household. I don't think it is fair to bring the old dh has been at work to let you live the life of riley argument into this.

doesntplaywellwithothers · 03/02/2010 12:47

If he is willing to do all the cooking, I will happily eat what is put in front of me.
If OP had said that her husband hated sausage casserole, then I would probably think differently, but he likes it, so suck it up!

Don't get me wrong, I will also accept requests, and I do usually ask when I go shopping if there is anything in particular he fancies, but I don't consult with him day to day.

BertieBotts · 03/02/2010 12:47

I would have got some aunt bessies yorkshires and served them with the casserole as a compromise.

bibbitybobbityhat · 03/02/2010 12:48

We had a similar thread recently and I thought the op was U for taking the stance that as the cook she always gets to decide what everyone in the house is eating.

Now, I find cooking a terrible chore and I resent having to think of things to eat all the time and I wish my dh would cook more often. And I am the least Stepford Wife in the whole history of wives on the entire planet, ever. But to never let him make a request about what you have for dinner seems really off, somehow.

Your dh probably will moan. Perhaps he genuinely doesn't like sausage casserole? Would you be happy to eat a meal cooked by him (if he ever cooks, I don't know) that you'd specifically asked him not to cook?

In summary, yabu.

Hullygully · 03/02/2010 12:50

Who cares what he thinks?

chopstheduck · 03/02/2010 12:53

YABU, get one of those giant yorkies and serve his up in that.

I sort of agree with coldtits. You are two adults living together, and I don't see why cooking gives you the right to dictate what he eats. Dh and I decide together what's for dinner (with a little give and take soemtimes) and I cook it. I do all the cooking, because I am at home all day, while he goes out to work. I am also a better cook!