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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have made sausage casserole for my family despite dh saying last night he does not want it!

130 replies

Snowfun · 03/02/2010 11:55

Dh likes sausage caserole we don't have it that often last time I made it was about a month ago. Anyway last night he was adament he did not want me to cook sausage caserole but he wanted me to do toad in the hole with carrots green beans mash and gravy etc etc.

Anyway ds2 aged 2 loves sausage caserole. He is slightly off his food which is very unusual for him and so this morning I have made sausage caserole in my slow cooker. Ds2 got so excited and squealed sausage caserole!

So aibu to have done this its far easier for me anyway. Tried explaining that to dh last night too but he was absolutely adament he didn't want it! I know he'll be annoyed I cooked it and will doubtless moan!

OP posts:
MamaVoo · 03/02/2010 12:55

Good God woman what century are you living in? Of course you're not being unreasonable. If he wants toad in the hole he can make it, failing that he can go hungry. I am at your DH.

mayorquimby · 03/02/2010 12:55

yanbu to just make it.
yabu if you have a strop if he decides he doesn't want to eat it and either has something small or makes something for himself as happened with someone on here the other week.

Hullygully · 03/02/2010 12:57

If I've cooked and dh or dc say one word other than, thank you so much it's absolutely ravishing, the plate is removed and dinner scraped in the bin immediately.

ConnieComplaint · 03/02/2010 12:58

YABU.

He specifically said he didn't want casserole.

So you made it.

Basically that's saying to him, fuck off, you're not entitled to an opinion...

or "I hear you, but I ain't listening" I mean, why ask in the first place?

When Dh makes spaghetti bolognese he knows I'm not a huge fan of it, but he makes me it, then adds sheets of lasagne & sauce & makes me a lasagne when everyone else has bolognese - he loves me

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 03/02/2010 12:59

what's wrong with sausage casserole?

DP loves it and requests it all the time. Suits me as it takes 10 mins to make

OrmRenewed · 03/02/2010 12:59

Well personally I wouldn't have cooked it in those circumstances. I'd be quite upset if the tables were turned, wouldn't you?

Doesn't matter who does the cooking and who earns the dosh IMO. You don't deliberately cook something someone doesn't want or like.

bobblehat · 03/02/2010 12:59

Give him toad in the hole for a whole week. He'll be well chuffed with sausage casserole then

notquitenormal · 03/02/2010 12:59

Does he like sausage casserole? If he doesn't isnt it reasonable to take that into account?

I don't like tuna pasta DP loves it, but he wouldn't make it and expect me to just lump it. Same the other way round with gammon.

If he does like it...it's put up and shup up or do the cooking himself.

2010aQuintessentialOdyssey · 03/02/2010 12:59

So then who gets to it first choses what to cook, right?

ConnieComplaint · 03/02/2010 12:59

Really Hully? No-one is allowed an opinion if it's a negative one?

I quite often tell dh the dinner was too spicy, he tells me when the spuds could have done with being boiled a bit longer etc....

Hullygully · 03/02/2010 13:01

No. I hate cooking. Not going to have complaints as well.

That doesn't mean that I don't allow requests in advance that I will consider and accommodate if appropriate.

LadyintheRadiator · 03/02/2010 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mayorquimby · 03/02/2010 13:02

ffs some of you sound like someone who's obnoxiously setting out to prove a point. if all the husbands of SAHM decided "well fuck them I'm the one out earning the money I'll decide what we'll spend it on, I might ask them to give the illusion they have a say but if I don't like the answer I'll just ignore it." They'd sound like a twat.

ConnieComplaint · 03/02/2010 13:02

Well, I know if I;ve earmarked mince, chicken, chops etc... for dinner then I'll also have discussed what we're making with them.... bolognese, onion & gravy (mince) stir fry, burgers, roasted, grilled (chicken) etc.... so whoever gets in first makes what the planned meal was, not just whatever they want...

Same with chops, I hate them plain, I like to have them marinaded in chilli sauce or mustard or something... dh likes them plain. If he's in first he'll know to do my marinade mixture, not just make me plain chops.

gagamama · 03/02/2010 13:03

YANBU at all. If he complains, just tell him you were polling him yesterday, not giving him the casting vote. If he's outnumbered, why should he have the final say?

ConnieComplaint · 03/02/2010 13:05

Snowfun - will you be offended if he doesn't want it & goes out & buys a take away instead?

Dh did that to me once....just the once mind you, his take away looked much nicer than fish pie!!

bobblehat · 03/02/2010 13:09

I have to cater for 4 of the fussiest eaters in the world (and I include myself in that, as the sole veggie in the house). Everyone gets a turn having what they like.

Personally, I'd just do some yorkshires with the casserole.

lizziemun · 03/02/2010 13:20

YABU

Why would you give dh or your something they don't want. You only end up binning it anyway.

Although why anyone would want to eat boiled willy sausage casserole.

FWIW i asked dh what he would like for dinner and asked for chicken wraps. I thought buggar why can't ask for something i got in the freezer, so i went and got the bits i need to make it.

wizbitwaffle · 03/02/2010 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

doesntplaywellwithothers · 03/02/2010 13:34

Hullygully...we are on the same page.

I am all for accomodating when possible, but on a day to day basis, I am in charge of the coooking. I plan menus weekly, so requests have to be made then; if I don't have the stuff in to make a request, it has to wait until the next shopping trip.

I don't like inefficiency. I am a full time grad student and a full time SAHM with a crazy schedule, and I need things like meals to be planned well in advance. So, I will not listen to whinging about meals, especially if I make things that I know we all like...which I tend to do anyway!!

Shodan · 03/02/2010 13:37

I cook, DH and DCs eat.

If they don't like it, they don't eat it. DS1 has been a pain in the bum about food all his life so have given up trying to accommodate him. DS2 will eat more or less anything.

Am slightly amused at the idea that I consult DH over the week's menus. It takes nearly 3 hours to get him round a supermarket (on the rare occasions I let him come) because he wants everything. He doesn't care what I serve up, so long as it's food.

My standard response for demands is 'I am not A Restaurant. If you want menu choice, go to a restaurant.'

skidoodle · 03/02/2010 13:40

"Why would you give dh or your something they don't want."

Because the alternative is that she gives a small, sick child something they don't want OR that she cooks two meals.

This man is an adult. He made his request, he's been overruled because he's not the only person in the family whose opinion counts, and unless he's a massive asshole he'll eat his sausage casserole (which he allegedly likes ) and be grateful for it.

CillySunt · 03/02/2010 13:47

Tell him to make his own dinner if he doesn't want, ungrateful git.

carrieboo75 · 03/02/2010 13:47

yaBOTHbu - Him for causing a fuss over not wanting something he actually likes and you for deliberatley cooking something he has said he did not want.

It's not rocket science, if in your house you discuss meals then then you should actually be listening to each other in the process or what is the point .

OrmRenewed · 03/02/2010 13:52

"especially if I make things that I know we all like...which I tend to do anyway"

But the OP asked him. Didn't she?

And surely there are other things in the world that sausage casserole and toad in the hole?

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