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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have made sausage casserole for my family despite dh saying last night he does not want it!

130 replies

Snowfun · 03/02/2010 11:55

Dh likes sausage caserole we don't have it that often last time I made it was about a month ago. Anyway last night he was adament he did not want me to cook sausage caserole but he wanted me to do toad in the hole with carrots green beans mash and gravy etc etc.

Anyway ds2 aged 2 loves sausage caserole. He is slightly off his food which is very unusual for him and so this morning I have made sausage caserole in my slow cooker. Ds2 got so excited and squealed sausage caserole!

So aibu to have done this its far easier for me anyway. Tried explaining that to dh last night too but he was absolutely adament he didn't want it! I know he'll be annoyed I cooked it and will doubtless moan!

OP posts:
Hullygully · 03/02/2010 15:34

Dave C has something to say on the subject

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 03/02/2010 15:38

YANBU, poorly child trumps fussy ADULT man capable of cooking for himself.

Dp is the same, doesn't like sausage casserole (or cabbage, mince, onions, tomatoes, sprouts, swede, cauliflower, chilli, pineapple, tinned fruit, cooked fruit, crumbles, pies...) if I always always listened to him ds and I would miss out a lot, so I'm starting to care less and just make what's convenient. I had a craving for carrot and swede mash the other day which I haven't had in about 6 years, thought "sod it, I'm making it" and he ate it, no complaining!

Throw a takeaway menu at him, op, and tell him to deal with it!!!

wubblybubbly · 03/02/2010 15:41

PMSL Hullygully!

To the OP, no YANBU! My Dh wouldn't dream of telling me what to cook, though to be honest, I wish he would sometimes, I'm sick of trying to think things up, but he eats what he's given. I've even made Moussaka, though he hates aubergines, he ate it without complaint.

Text him, tell him it's sausage casserole, if he doesn't fancy it he can pick up a ready meal on the way home.

Pikelit · 03/02/2010 15:50

There's a portion of last night's sausage casserole in the fridge as it happens. DP has been told that he'll be eating it tonight but this instruction only came about because I'm out at a rehearsal and I don't really want him cruising around in the freezer while there's perfectly good fresh nosh that needs eating up. It hasn't occurred to him to pipe up in complaint, tbh. But it also hasn't occurred to me to get home at 10.30 and fuss over whether he's had his supper. It'll either be in him or the terrier.

doesntplaywellwithothers · 03/02/2010 15:57

PMSL Hully...I can't believe how funny that is!!

Pikelit...no worries, you can share Mr. Doesnt...he eats anything!

I am fortunate...DH eats pretty much everything, so it's not a huge problem to omit the few things he doesn't like. Also, DCs eat whatever we're having...I haven't really cottoned on to making them a separate supper. I only do that when DH and I are having a takeaway after they've been put to bed.

I cook one meal, everyone eats!!!!

TheSmallClanger · 03/02/2010 15:58

Who referred to sausage casserole as boiled willy? That is absolutely hilarious!
I can't stand sausages myself so my view on this is null and void. Mostly.

Sometimes I actually prefer it if DH specifies food preferences as it means I don't have to think of things to do with what I have in the fridge. I do have weekly menu plans but they don't always work.

Pikelit · 03/02/2010 16:11

I'm a bit of an eggistentialist when it comes to food.

The idea of a menu plan disturbs me since I'm hard pushed to imagine what I want to eat tonight. Let alone tomorrow.

ImSoNotTelling · 03/02/2010 16:24

YANBU whoever does the shopping/cooking decides what everyone's having, bearing in mind the likes and dislikes of the others.

If I had to ask DH what we were having it'd be sausage bloody casserole every single day

AuntieMaggie · 03/02/2010 16:35

YANBU - it's difficult to get a DC who isn't eating much excited about food so I would've cooked to his liking rather than you DHs too.

I'm like Connie - I do the shopping and know what meals are to be made with each meat and what we have the ingredients for, though we share the cooking. I get annoyed because DP never suggests anything and sometimes I just can't think of anything.

WTF is wrong with the slow cooker? My DP is the opposite and keeps trying to get me to use ours!

ImSoNotTelling · 03/02/2010 16:44

Do people really throw food into the bin untouched? If someone says they don't like it?

AnyFucker · 03/02/2010 16:44

you pretend to use/not use a kitchen implement in order not to provoke a mood ?

he rings you several times in one day to check up on what/how you are cooking ?

I would boil his willy

seriously, he has more issues than just having a preference for one meal over another...

LaDiDaDi · 03/02/2010 16:49

YABU, why did you discuss it if you weren't interested in his response???

ChasingSquirrels · 03/02/2010 16:53

sausage casserole recipe please??

I did do something once and the sausages were scrummy, but the other stuff was manky.

Angelcat666 · 03/02/2010 16:54

OP if I were you I'd tell him to do the cooking.

Mind you if I had a DH he'd probably have to or suffer food poisoning until he'd developed a cast iron stomach

LoveBeingAMummy · 03/02/2010 16:58

pmsl @ connie

You have to hide the fact you cooked it in the slow cooker Why? Surely once he's eaten it you can tell him then he knows to keep his mouth shut.

YABU for taking this shit

heQet · 03/02/2010 17:20

Tbh, I think the sausage casserole is the least of your problems!

Rebeccaruby · 03/02/2010 17:27

YANBU, cooking is something creative, I sometimes change my mind as the mood takes me. Seems reasonable, if your child is off his food and fancies it. Just say that instead of getting toad in the hole, he's getting toad.

Hullygully · 03/02/2010 19:16

Snowfun - okay, v. good. So who are you?

MiladyDeWinter · 03/02/2010 19:21

YANBU regarding your OP, DH agrees. In fact he said that he would probably eat actual floating cock / boiled willy casserole if our protein-refusing toddler expressed a preference for it

Your DH is BVU with his dumplings and dislike of the slow cooker.

poshsinglemum · 03/02/2010 19:23

YANBU -unless you live in the 1950's!

What objection does he have the slow cooker? Does he have food issues?

poshsinglemum · 03/02/2010 19:25

Does he have to the slow cooker I mean?

I also missed the bits about dumplings.

Tell him to make his own dinner/ make a family meal if he feels that strongly about it.

thisxgirl · 03/02/2010 19:32

I can't believe how many responses this thread has got - all over a sausage casserole!

I'm sure the OP sat down to dinner with her son who loved every mouthful of it (which is probably the priority, since he hasn't had much of an appetite lately) and her DH ate it, perhaps slightly begrudgingly and with a little moan about how he hadn't wanted it tonight but since he does actually enjoy the meal on other occasions, why is it such a big deal? She didn't cook him a meal he doesn't like, she just cooked him a meal he didn't feel like/wasn't his preference because it was most convenient for this evening and her son was very keen on it.

She could offer to cook him a meal of his choice on another evening, which sends her DH the message that she does care about his tastes and preferences.

Since I do all of meal-planning, shopping and cooking I do decide what we eat, but I take into consideration DP's tastes. If he had his way, we would eat meat and potatoes every night so he's not overjoyed by a weekly pasta dish, but he accepts it with gratitude knowing there is a steak in the fridge for another evening.

sincitylover · 03/02/2010 19:35

tbh it would take about two mins to whip up batter, extract two cooked sausages and bake the toad in the hole.

I sometimes make chilli and spag bog on the same night cos the dcs don't like chilli but I do.

However given that your h seems a bit control freaky prob wouldn't do that on a point of principle.

However tonight we have had spag hoops, spaghetti and beans on toast.

Although I have to do all the cooking as Im the only adult in the house, when married I would have hated to be solely responsible for the shopping and cooking. As we both worked that wasn't always the case.

Would have hated to have been in a household run on traditional lines. Cos then you are having convos like this.

I felt as I worked had more leverage to tell h (now exh) to stuff it if he did complain.

Original poster
Snowfun · 03/02/2010 20:19

Tbh tonghts dinner is the least of our worrys. Most nights ds1 aged 4 will ONLY eat pasta with grated cheese on it which is what he had tonight. Ds2 loved his tea and could not eat it quick enough. He had 2 helpings (his brothers share!) THis from a little boy who earlier was cuddling me saying me sad me poorly! I served dh's with yorkshire puddings. He moaned when he first walked in but ate it and said he liked it. THis is often the case with him and food.

Dh is convinced that slow cooker dries food out because it cooks for so long! He never used to want me to cook chicken casserole if he had wind I was planning it would spend an evening trying to talk me out of it. I found it very hurtful as he loves his mums and if we're going round there knowing thats what she's doing he looks forward to it!

OP posts:
ImSoNotTelling · 03/02/2010 20:25

The page break made your post read "He never used to want me to cook chicken casserole if he had wind"!!!!

I was wondering if it was some kind of alan partridge effect with the scotch eggs...

I think your DHs attitude to food and cooking is a bit odd TBH. If you're doing all the work really he doesn't get to whinge on about what pots you're using and stuff. Especially if he always likes what you give him anyway.

Maybe he should get a surprise for his supper from now on, so he can't go on at you about it.

I like your name BTW

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