8 boys and wanting a girl

[icarriedawatermelon2]

AIBU to think that this programme was very unlikely to ever be called 8 girls and wanting a boy poor boys

The comments on the website about the programme are so sad

www.channel4.com/programmes/8-boys-and-wanting-a-girl

I have 2 gorgeous boys. Dh discussed having a 3rd child a couple of years ago but decided not to. We really wouldn't have minded what sex a 3rd was.

Mil wants me to have a 3rd because she thinks i must feel I'm 'missing out' because I dont have a girl . We were at a family night out on saturday and she spent an hour trying to convince me to try for a girl. She said if I had a girl she'd look after her for me. This is the woman who, when told I was pregnant with ds2, said 'I'm not watching 2 of them'!! I asked her if I did have another, and it was a boy, would she still look after him? She laughed and said 'oh you wouldn't want it if it was another boy'

She only had 2. Dh and his sister. She says she has the perfect family. So perfect Dh and his sis fought all the time growing up and even now aren't very close (I'm closer to sil that DH is!). On the other hand my 2 boys are best friends and love each others company.

I have one daughter and twin boys. Give me boys anyday! I find girls harder work, bit more manipulative and play mind games. My boys although noisy are loving and don't mess with my head!

I read a saying that made me giggle. Boys wreck your house, girls wreck your mind.

?But I get so sick of mothers of girls saying things like 'it's a girl thing' in the smuggest of voices.?

lol romanarama, and it is always mothers of girls who say this sort of thing, isn?t it? Or at least, usually.

I always laugh at these generalisations because for me, DS was a dream baby and a very easy child whereas DD never slept and is difficult and challenging in many respects.

But obviously I?m just wrong because we all know girls are easier, right?

Sounds like this programme will be worth watching. Can't help thinking they've invented 'gender disappointment' though.

I think most people, if asked whether they'd prefer boy or girl, would plump for one or the other. If they say 'boy', it doesn't mean they would hate a girl, or vice-versa. If someone asked me whether I'd prefer a Crunchie or a Bounty, I'd say 'Crunchie'. But if they offered me a Bounty I'd accept!

Little girls might be perceived as being easier than little boys - but what about teenage girls!

I'm a bit surprised that so many people on this thread are saying that mums seem to want girls and dads seem to want boys, as my experience has been more often the opposite, or that everyone seems to want girls.

I only have boys so can't make any daft generalisations comparisons, but mine could happily ignore their dad most of the time, but treat me like I'm some kind of goddess, which is very gratifying nice for me. My dh dreams that having a little girl would give him his moment of glory. Maybe that's rubbish too.

Personally, I do find my girls a lot easier than my son.

As for moodiness, my son can throw a strop with the best of them already.

it is so true that most women who complain of gender usually mean they are disappointed if it turns out to be a boy. it is very rare for it to be the other way around. very sad world if that's how people think. I love having a boy. And would have also loved a girl too, but they are people not dolls, you can't just sterotype them. They are individuals.

I have 2 DDs and love being a mum to girls. I have really enjoyed the ballet classes, pretty party dress stage and the like. However, I never only wanted girls and would have been happy to have a healthy boy both times.

My best friend has two boys, we were pregnant together both times and she desperately wanted a girl both times. She had trouble bonding with both her boys made even more difficult because her sister had a girl at the same time. She and her husband nearly split up because she wanted to try for a girl and he has only ever wanted two children regardless of gender. I could not understand how she felt and sometimes I felt impatient towards her attitude and disapointment. She has got over it now and has resigned herself to never having a daughter. I do understand what a strain it put on her relationship with her DH and Ds and sister though.

I have one DD who is highly sensitive, emotional, very typical pink loving girl princess, one who is a tomboy loves dinosaurs and is very happy to play by herself and the 18 month old one who is just mad with a temper to match. I feel sorry for my poor unborn boy being born into this madhouse of 4 alpha females.

I don't think you can relate gender to specific traits, I don't think one sex is easier than another sex. I think the reason most Mothers want daughters is that they were once girls themselves and feel they can relate to the better.

I haven't seen a bias towards girls irl at all. If I had 8 of either sex, I would be likely to want one of the other sex. (although would probably have stopped before 8 )

I wanted a boy for me first and got him. I didn't mind what I had after that, although I am pleased I have some girls (now have 3 girls and 2 boys). My preference is for girls, but this is only based on the fact that ds1 has asd, and I worry that any other ds will also have this. (ds2 hasn't shown signs yet, but is only 20 mo). In terms of personality, they are all different, and my most "difficult" child is my youngest dd.

I would like one more, and have no preference, although it would be nice to have another boy for ds2 to play with.

It is sad when the parental preference is made known to the child(ren) - I remember Princess Diana saying she was supposed to be a boy, she had 2 elder sisters and her parents wanted a boy in order to pass on her father's peerage. Sad.

A guy I used to work with already had a daughter and his wife was expecting their second baby. He desperately wanted a boy and had organised a big family celebration to welcome his new son. She had a girl - and he cancelled the party. Really sad.

my daughters were the only ones that were disappointed that ds2 was a boy!

We all knew that my mum wanted a boy but I don't think this has affected any of us at all. unfortunately she has also made this preference clear with the grandchildren.

Actually I think you have a point sweetkitty. I don't have a girl, but would have loved to take my little daughter to the ballet (my happiest childhood memories are Covent Garden with my mum), and to plait her hair with ribbons. I know not all little girls like this kind of thing, but the chances are pretty high. As it is, dh takes the boys to car shows and formula one, and they love it. I sometimes go just to see them all having a lovely time, but tbh am just as happy to give it a miss.

I have one friend who's a real action adventure sport kind of man, and his 2 daughters absolutely weren't into any of it. He was so thrilled when he had a son who quite clearly by the age of about 18 months was passionate about motorbikes and going sledging as fast as possible etc.

My sons have very different personalities, but they are all nuts about cars and the like. Boys.

In countries such as China, India the BOY looks after the family when he is an adult. So people favour boys because they are economically advantageous. Traditionally you would have to marry off girls and provide a dowry into the bargain.

In the West, we largely now retain our GIRLS in adulthood - as our close family and emotional support in old age.

Of course people will leap up and down and say they live 2,000 miles away from their parents and hate their mother, but by and large it is the case that females remain closer to their mother.

I mean, look at all the anti-mil threads on here. Thousands of them. If you have sons you can't help but be alarmed (I know I am) and worry about a future where you've been sidelined from your son's life.

I think it's obvious that having daughters is not so much about being able to dress them up prettily and share treasured reading books. The preference is basically a simple and gut instinct insurance policy.

China is definately the country where boys are favoured. Girls are seen as a burden to them. The one child policy doesn't occur in the farming areas though, each couple is allowed a second chance if they first conceive a girl. If they have a boy second time round then they are 'lucky', if they have another girl they are 'screwed' so to speak.

agree with gramercy in certain cultures there is reasoning behind the preference of gender.

My mum was abit negative about boys. She has loads of brothers and no sisters and felt surrounded by boistrous boys. My nan always gos on and on that she is so glad she had a girl as the grown sons 'don't bother so much' and have their own families.

My mum only had girls (she always went on about how much she wanted girls) but I think it is good for her now to get grandsons and realise boys are scrummy too. I had no brothers and boys were ailien to me after my DDs but once I got over the 'not knowing' boys I realised what I was 'missing' by not appreciating boys.

I used to feel abit 'sorry' for people with just boys as family went on and on all the time about girls being so great. And most my friends with just boys were desperate for girls. Once I had my own boys, though, I realised how great they were, just as nice as girls. At my scan with my DTs they said both were boys I was shocked but over the moon. After suffering m/c and s/bs gender was never relevant.

If I hear any smug mums of girls going on about how girls are better i just remember that they probably just hear/see negative stuff about boys or they simply have enjoyed their kids/girls so much that they think what they have is 'best'.

Message withdrawn

My late MIL was furious for dh and I having dc3 - we already had one of each, why did we want more?
It took a while to get through to her that we weren't bothered if they were boys or girls, we loved them anyway!
When my SIL was expecting her 3rd, MIL was in floods that it was another boy. As soon as he was born, her first words to SIL were for her to get on and have another, as she might be lucky next time - no word of congratulations at all
She'd turn in her grave if she knew dh and I were trying for another

When I ws expecting ds4, had been given sympathy umpteen timesmy Sikh mate offered totake me to her Gurdwara where i'd be pampered for being a mumof many boys.

Iwas a bit that I only mattered becuase of the gender of my sons (she'd never offered before) but the change from the otehr opinions was also nice.

We don't have a society here that means boys are essential to survive and we have to make sure that bias like that is not something that spreads in our society.

yep, thank goodness this isn't a communist country...

Things aren't quite so simple in China. The one-child policy only holds in cities, though couples who are both onlies are now allowed 2. The preference for boys amongst middle-class city dwellers is not very obvious.

In the countryside the rules are different and vary from place to place, though the general rule is 2 kids are OK. The rules are widely flouted and there have been outcries over too-strict enforcement. Around 4 years ago there was a hideous case in Wuhan, where 'family planning' officials came to the hospital where a woman had just given birth to a second child, against the rules, and ordered the father to murder his daughter. He took the baby outside and left her nearby (alive of course, poor guy ), and the nurses found her and brought her back. I honestly can't remember whether the officials ended up dumping her in the river or not, but a local journalist had the courage to write about the whole hideous episode and the PM was moved to tell officials to quit behaving in such an inhuman way.

It's true that many little girls are abandoned or killed. There is awareness amongst officialdom that this can't continue - apart from the fate of the girl babies, there's also a huge gender imbalance in some areas now.

Romanarama "there's also a huge gender imbalance in some areas now."

Which will presumably have the desired effect of bringing down the population.

Or perhaps given the West's preference for girl and the East's for boys perhaps we will see a reversal of the current situation where women start importing husbands.

Who knows, you shouldn't fuck around with nature, she will bite you in the arse.

yes basically girls aren't favoured over there, which was what I was getting at in my later posts. boys are favoured because it makes life easier. I've also heard of girl babies being abandoned or killed because they weren't the preferred gender.

surely most people want both boy(s) and girl(s) ?

What a horrific story, Romanarama