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AIBU?

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Original poster

8 boys and wanting a girl

408 replies

icarriedawatermelon2 · 02/02/2010 19:10

AIBU to think that this programme was very unlikely to ever be called 8 girls and wanting a boy poor boys

The comments on the website about the programme are so sad

www.channel4.com/programmes/8-boys-and-wanting-a-girl

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 05/02/2010 00:13

I have a preference for a girl, probably because I AM a 'girl', but considering the fact that after 2 and a half years I have failed to produce a single child anything will do.

My DH has a preference for a boy, probably because he is a boy, but I know he wouldn't really mind either way.

Knowing the emotions which come with infertility I do have a small amount of sympathy for the irrational feelings these women have but I am still a bit about the level of their distress.

pigletmania · 05/02/2010 00:30

When that rich woman, Nicola I think with the twin girls, said to them that they were special because they were chosen, poor boys arent them special too! What are they thinking hearing their mum think like that!. Those twins are only spoilt becuase their mum treats them like that, its not their fault they were born to a mum like that.

I think that the mum who is pregnant with her 5th boy needs counselling to help her deal with her emotions, as its obviously affecting the family and her abiity to funtion, and also will probably affect her ability to love or bond with this new baby because its not a girl.

westmilf · 05/02/2010 00:33

With 4DBS and 1DD,having lost DB 3 I would give anything to have him back and to worry about sex seems so trivial.I do wonder whether we strive for things because we "can"
and not because we know that we are doing the right thing.I know that I could never have a child on a selective basis as it just feels wrong-but I would consider fad diet etc for the hell of it.FYI my DD was the first born in 40 yrs of the family.DH is one of three,what does that say?

KPidgeon · 05/02/2010 07:37

I'm not a mum (yet!) but found this problem very upsetting. I was worried about the impact of of the mothers' attitudes on their sons. Also this PDG thing does not seem like a good idea- upsetting natural selection of the human race. China has masses of girl orphans and attitudes in India favour boys massively. If they were permitted/could afford PDG on a large scale the natural balance would be totally skewed.

NormaSknockers · 05/02/2010 08:23

pigletmania - there's an interviw on the channel 4 website that the lady who was PG with her 5th son which they made since they filmed her. The baby's 4 weeks old & she seems quite happy & spoke about the europhia of having a new baby in the house. She did also mention that her & her DH may try again though.

We have a DD & a DS & when DS was born lost of stupid idiots people commented on how thrilled DH must have been at 'getting a boy this time' like having DD had been a disappointment to him

SimonCowellIsSatan · 05/02/2010 08:35

I don't understand how anyone could be disappointed with a little baby no matter what sex it is. Babies are such a special blessing. I have just had my third and through all my pregnancies people would ask me what I hoped for and I would always tell them I really didnt care. I have 2 boys and a girl and love them all dearly.

Some people just don't realise how lucky they are.

pigletmania · 05/02/2010 09:21

Norma thats good I am glad, but try again! Fgs why cant she just be happy with what she has. Tbh there is no point in her trying without having that sex selection, she will probably have another boy, than when will it stop!.We have a dd and when i was pregnant second time round I had people saying i bet you want a boy, it would be nice if you have a boy , well i had a m/c just before christmas. We would be happy to have another one either boy or girl as long as their are happy and healthy

NormaSknockers · 05/02/2010 09:27

I thought the same piglet as she seemed so sure in the doc that they wouldn't have any more.

Sorry to hear about your m/c, I hope you get your happy & healthy baby very soon.

VinegarTits · 05/02/2010 09:33

I found this program extremely sad for the youngest of the littles boys involved, i am sure the mothers love them, but imagine how they will feel when they are old enough to watch the program and realised that they were not wanted as much as a girl

I wanted to slap the smug bitch who had the twin girls, her last comment was very smug and patronising

xkaylax · 05/02/2010 09:50

When i was pregnant i desperately wanted a boy. Luckily i got one i love him so much just cant imagine myself with a girl.

xkaylax · 05/02/2010 09:50

When i was pregnant i desperately wanted a boy. Luckily i got one i love him so much just cant imagine myself with a girl.

mrswill · 05/02/2010 10:27

I admit a preference for girls - I have an 18month old DD who seems to get more 'girly' by the day, and I really enjoy having a girl just as others love having their boys. But to place a higher value on a particular gender seems weird to me, a baby is just as wonderful no matter what sex it is.

If the women felt that strongly about having a DD, they had the option of adoption. I feel that American woman came across very badly. To dimiss the boy embryos as though they were worthless was awful. I did feel a bit sorry for the woman who found out her 5th was a boy, as you could see she was very distressed.

pigletmania · 05/02/2010 10:34

Thanks Norma I hope so, just makes you put things into perspective really

VigourMortis · 05/02/2010 10:39

That programme made me want to shout SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP at the screen.

porcamiseria · 05/02/2010 10:55

me too, really angered me. I think it angered the makers too as they definately edited rich bitch very unfavourably.

the blonde mum needs psycho helo, NOW

silly women, but hey we watched it!

undercoverelephant · 05/02/2010 11:04

Regarding the American woman rejecting the male embryos...could she really have given them to someone else? This is a genuine question. On one level, what are the legalities? I suppose you can donate eggs or sperm, so why not an embryo...but on another level, who among us would be an egg or embryo donor? I appreciate there are selfless women out there who do these things. I take my hat off to them for the wonderful thing they do for another woman/couple. But I couldn't do it myself, knowing that there is a child "of mine" - and yet not mine - in the world . I realise it's a selfish outlook. I'd like to be a better person, but it's just not something I could do.

So that's a long-winded way of saying that the American woman rejected the male embryos because she was paying to have a female one implanted. While I find the whole process abhorrent, it was the aim of the process.

As for her manner, I agree, she seemed very blunt, but maybe that was just her way of coping with a very stressful situation?

duchesse · 05/02/2010 11:13

I just felt really sorry for all the boys involved, feeling that they just weren't good enough for their mums. On the other hand, I think that the lady with the 8 boys who had lost her daughter may have had a deeper problem that she should talk to someone about- I think she's not got over the stillbirth of her daughter. I know another family with 4 boys who are now all grown up where the mother never got over the death at birth of her daughter, and it doesn't have good repercussions long-term on the poor boys.

bellissima · 05/02/2010 11:13

I'm sure it's already been said a thousand times but I watched last night and when Nicola talked about not having the gender (you mean sex dear) you want being akin to not being able to have children I thought she should have been slapped in the face by every desperate childless woman in the country. And the bit (can't remember whom), about 'I want someone to talk to, go shopping with' etc - erm, tried having a friend? A daughter might enjoy going shopping with you for a few years but you will get an almighty shock when she tells you to get off her case at some point in her teenage years.

Also felt very sorry for the younger sons who would realise at some point that they were produced in the hope of having girls.

Also wondered whether it was all a bit 'safer' and less 'sensitive' in meeja land terms, to talk about middle class white women wanting girls....

BrigitBigKnickers · 05/02/2010 11:37

Only watched the last few mins of this programme. Actually felt sorry for the American lady as she was obviously dealing with bereavement but the one with the twins needs a good slap.

The little twin girls seemed very well behaved and sweet but there again all scenes I saw involved them being indulged; dressed in and going shopping for designer clothes. Here's hoping they will become the teens from hell!

She claimed she wouldn't marry her DP until he had "given" her girls - made her sound like she was demanding some sort of expensive present rather than human life. What she really wanted were bridesmaids to balance out the little page boys she had already...(who were extremely cute too)

I feel so sorry for those little boys who certainly didn't feature in the part of the programme I saw.

I also feel sorry for the little girls who are obviously going to be brought up with an over inflated sense of importance which will not do them any favours in life as they grow up.

jellybeans · 05/02/2010 11:38

Those twins were treated like dolls too, is that really the best way to bring up girls with such stereotypes? Why not take them somewhere other than spending all day shopping? My girls wear jeans and do normal stuff, were never 'princessy'. The follow up interview with the blonde lady sad at 5th boy was shocking, linking choosing a boy/girl like buying a handbag or car!!! Devastation at a scan is finding out your baby has dies or is very sick. i know how this feels, gender is trivial. Just be grateful for your lovely boys!!!! Boys and girls are equally lovely.

MrsDmamee · 05/02/2010 12:08

i find the whole idea of gender selection selfish. The i want i want attitude and the american woman spending a fortune on her wants and the mum of the twin girls too.

The whole idea that they needed someone to be girly with to go shopping with or to bascially treat like a dress up doll, they seem to forget girls(children infact) dont stay yours forever, they grow up move on and some girls like myself dont have a very close relationship with their mothers.

i think any mother is blessed to have any child and to watch them grow regardless of gender.
DH and I are pg with our 2nd dc. We have a ds together and i adore that he is a clone of his dad(in looks and personality) and why wouldnt I considering i love his Dad.
So if this baby is a boy then i get another ds to love and thats all thats important.

I do feel it is natural to wonder what having a dd is like, but like everything in life we cant have it all.

minxofmancunia · 05/02/2010 12:13

I tried atking 3 year old dd "shopping" in John Lewis last week. After peeling her from all the mannequins as she wanted to hug and kiss them all and replacing all the shoes in both the womens and childerns shoe department I gave up and all I bought was a packet of crips from the cafe

She's not that great at shopping! the reason being she doesn't do it v often, she does toddler stuff. felt v sorry for blonde posh womans boys, husband and twin girls she didn't come accross as a particularly pleasant person.

jellybeans · 05/02/2010 12:55

Makes me sad that there are people willing to test and abort if the baby is the wrong sex.

LouMacca · 05/02/2010 13:02

I make me so sad when the lady was ready to have the girl embryo implanted and the doctor asked her if the other 5 embryos were to be disregarded. Just like that, 5 possibly viable boy embryos destroyed Could these not have been donated to an inferile couple?

LouMacca · 05/02/2010 13:04

sorry - It made me and should say infertile - its been a long day!