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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that a man who "doesn't drive" is not remotely sexy

445 replies

AnyFucker · 30/01/2010 19:29

I saw this on another thread (doesn't matter which) and didn't want to hijack it with my silly ramblings

but, I can't imagine being with a man who "doesn't drive" (disabilities notwithstanding)

just someone too lazy to learn, who would let their OH chauffeur them around

there is something very appealing (sexy) about a man who drives well

mind you, I have a thing about a well-shaped wrist on a man , and driving in short sleeves shows that off to perfection

am I showing my age here ?

OP posts:
Crazycatlady · 31/01/2010 14:35

Oh yes, the Pavement Man, ROFL

KurriKurri · 31/01/2010 14:48

Sorry haven't read all the thread - but I read the last one on this subject. There's nothing sexy about driving, its just driving - a lazier form of walking.

My DH does drive, but I wouldn't find him any less sexy if he didn't. In fact some of his least sexy moments occur when he's stuck in a traffic jam and grumpy as hell.

I'd hope our relationship goes a bit deeper than having a certain skill or not. For the record I don't drive. Am not lazy, don't cadge lifts, use public transport, bike or my legs.

lucky1979 · 31/01/2010 15:17

wanders over from the original thread

DH doesn't drive AND wears short sleeves. Quite a few of my exes didn't drive, but then, I lived in central London where no one really needs to.

I did used to go out with a guy who drove a Lotus Esprit though. He was a tosser. Another ex learnt to drive while we were going out and proceeded to become (even more of) a tosser who constantly wanted to drive my car. In fact, I'm thinking that the drivers I have dated have been considerably less appealling than the non-drivers. Therefore YABU.

MrsFlittersnoop · 31/01/2010 15:31

DH and I are non-drivers. So is ex-DP. Loads and loads of my friends don't/can't drive but they are mostly Londoners. Quite a few of them are reformed petrol-heads who will hire a car when necessary or are members of a car-pool scheme. We are all VERY sexy people. We positively OOZE sex. Dripping with it in fact!

Since we moved from London to Bath we've discovered how awkward life is down here without wheels, especially living with a not-so-mobile 81 year old mother, so we've had to bite the bullet and have signed up for driving lessons. FIL can't drive any more due to poor eyesight and has just given us his car. I'm hoping to pass my test before I'm 50!

expatinscotland · 31/01/2010 16:41

'Cars make blokey all paunchy. That is not sexy.'

DH is still wiry and toned.

As for entertaining kids whilst waiting for a bus. Sorry, but I find that pathetic, but it's probably because out here, if there is a bus running where you're going at all a) it's going to be a very long wait b) the weather most of the time sucks really, really hard.

cory · 31/01/2010 16:53

Well, why is it more pathetic if the weather sucks? I'd have thought it was braver and more heroic and ...you...know...kind of sexy.

sarah293 · 31/01/2010 16:55

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BrahmsThirdRacket · 31/01/2010 16:59

YANBU, it's not cool. They should at least be able to drive, even if they don't because they never leave central London or whatever. I would not be able to put up with being the designated driver for the rest of my life. Not learning to drive seems to imply an underlying belief that someone else will always get you to where you need to be, which isn't attractive in anyone.

expatinscotland · 31/01/2010 17:01

'Well, why is it more pathetic if the weather sucks? I'd have thought it was braver and more heroic and ...you...know...kind of sexy.'

Um, no, cory, it really isn't. Unless you're 16 and can't drive anyhow.

Otherwise, it's sort of like, 'Loser.'

Yep, that's my opinion.

cory · 31/01/2010 17:07

Brahms, dh and I have never lived in central London, but we managed to cope for 20 years without either of us driving, and those 20 years involved extensive travelling both within and outside the UK, outings into the countryside virtually every weekend, visits to relatives at the other end of the country etc. We saw the Welsh mountains - and the Lapp ones- because dh didn't think trains and buses and walking was anything to be whimpish about.

That's what I admire so much about dh, that he is so creative and not at all put off by difficulties. And fit.

After all, Wordsworth managed to live in the Lake District without a car, didn't he? And probably did not rely on his friends to drive him around either.

ABetaDad · 31/01/2010 17:07

Wow! I have not driven a car for 20 years and gave my licence back to DVLA a few years back.

Ironically, DW hated me when she first met me as a student, partly because she thought I had a BMW (I wish ). She ony started to like me when she found out I only had a bike. She cannot drive either.....which is lucky.

I have driven lots of complicated and large vehicles though as a farmer's son and can still reverse an artic between two gate posts but I hated the stress of driving on roads so I just decided to stop and never regretted it.

Now I walk a lot and often walk faster than cars crawling down the main road during rush hour near my house.

I am truly amazed to find that young blokes really were right all along - women do fancy blokes in flash cars .

sarah293 · 31/01/2010 17:10

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Francagoestohollywood · 31/01/2010 17:13

I think that people who rely on cars as little as possible are rather cool!

You know who I find sexy? Men who can ski well. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Mumcentreplus · 31/01/2010 17:18

Come to terms.. Driving does not make men Sexier..actually taxis are sexier..he can sit in the back and feel me up

expatinscotland · 31/01/2010 17:23

'Men who can ski well. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm '

Mmmm, yes. Climbers are sexy, too. In the US, though, at least, climbing usually involves driving to climbing areas. Ditto skiing .

UnquietDad · 31/01/2010 17:31

Anyfucker - the point is that there are many and plentiful ways to demonstrate skill and confidence. Admiring a man because he can drive a car seems exactly on a level with my deliberately daft washing-machine example.

Why not admire men for being good at engineering, writing, painting, playing a musical instrument or even being a good father and knowing how to look after children?

Of course, it is entirely possible to do these things well and still be a cock, but it's a little less cliched than getting all gooey over the car-worshipper - and, by implication, insinuating that the man who, for whatever reason, isn't one is a bit of a Big Jessie.

sarah293 · 31/01/2010 17:32

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Francagoestohollywood · 31/01/2010 17:33

... Actually you can get to many skiing resorts by train and coach here in Italy Expat (oh yes, climbers!!!)

UnquietDad · 31/01/2010 17:34

In fact I am, on reflection, being a little too kind to your OP and there is a bit of revisionism going on here. The OP and the title are very negative about non-drivers rather than admiring of skill and confidence in those who do. Why the need to phrase it that way?

TheOldestCat · 31/01/2010 17:36

DH doesn't drive and is rather sexy, but that's subjective I suppose.

Must say I find the sight of him on his bike a lot more attractive than most of the men I see zooming past in cars.

sarah293 · 31/01/2010 17:37

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expatinscotland · 31/01/2010 17:39

Why not admire men for being good at engineering, writing, painting, playing a musical instrument or even being a good father and knowing how to look after children?

I do. But they have to drive, too.

bruxeur · 31/01/2010 17:39

Angry male cyclists?

Whyever could that be?

UnquietDad · 31/01/2010 17:40

What an attack of the 1950s this place has from time to time.

UnquietDad · 31/01/2010 17:42

It's like me saying I can admire a woman for being funny, attractive, creative and a good mother, but that she "has to" have perfect teeth, nails, hair and designer frocks like Cheryl Cole before she can be considered a "proper woman."

Sometimes you lot are your own worst enemies.