To wish that if someone chooses to do CC with their baby, would be nice if they considered the fact that they are mid terrace with thin walls?

[Squiglet]

Firstly I really dont get CC, not something that has ever felt right for us as a family. Also the baby next door has been left from a very young age (a few weeks old) to cry. He's now 5 months and she just leaves him to cry. In the daytime she leaves him crying often as well as night. She'd never ask for help or accept it and likes to be seen as coping and superwoman. He dp is a medical prof and works long hours and she has an older child too.

I can sypmathise that she might be struggling but it is so hard to hear this little babies crying ds1 9 often comments and says how upset he feels hearing it and that his little brother never cried like that.

And I do know for a fact she does cc because she told me so I'm not presuming.

Oh get over yourself! Have you forgotten how hard it is a with a newborn? You may not agree with what they are doing, that's just tough. I certainly wouldn't accept help from my perfect neighbour with her perfect non crying children The thickness or otherwise of you walls have bugger all to do with this - there are lots of things you could do that would annoy one another, that's life in a terrace. YABU!

And yet CC advocates say it only takes three days till the baby stops crying and becomes "contented".

I am sorry you have to go through this OP, I get very upset by the sound of a baby crying. Can you complain about the noise to your neighbour.

'Can you complain about the noise to your neighbour. '

Yup - that's a great way to get a mouthful of rage from said neighbour and make her cry. If that's your aim follow Notapollyanna's advice.

Get over yourselves, babies cry fgs thats life. Not every baby is a perfect contented baby who just squeals if they want something, my dd had colic and would cry from 9am to 9pam each day despite all our best efforts, after reading this thread i am glad that i live in a detatched house so as not to disturb your peace.

Put yourselves in the other persons shoes and think back how it was like with a newborn/ young baby.

Are you 100% sure this baby has been left to cry or is just a very cryey baby? From bitter experience the latter makes for a miserable experience.

lovely NL. I think most of us are well aware of what it is like to have a newborn as well as an older child/children and yet a majority of us don't resort to leaving the younger one to cry - especially from a few weeks old!

Squiglet, very sad that you have to listen to that. I don't think I could cope with hearing it either. I'm with Pollyanna, can you mention the noise to your neighbour but maybe in a conversational - have heard him sounding upset/is he teething - type way so that you can get talking to her? Maybe getting to chat to her a bit would open the door to making alternative suggestions or offering to help out somehow rather than sounding like you are just complaining/attacking her parenting style. Definitely time to do something - if it has been going on for months it clearly isn't working!

Just wrote a long post but not very eloquent so It'll have to be

do you know its cc? dd had colic or someother reason why she screamed for hours on end for about 11 weeks. it probably wasn't very nice for our neighbours, but i'm sure it was worse for me!

Just post the No-Cry Sleep Solution through her door.

how do you know she's leaving the baby to cry all the time? some babies cry a lot whatever you do. dd went through a phase of crying at night whether you picked her up or not and wasn't much better in the day.

You dont know its CC baby might have colic or teething,mine screamed the house down with both, i had PND and had to sometimes close the door while i had a cup of tea to calm down. Even now dd is 2.10 and does cry sometimes when she wants something instead of speak and i have to remind her that if she wants something she has to talk properly to me or she will not get it.

OP says that she knows her neighbour uses CC because she told her - not just speculation.

CC is not the same as a normal crying baby, and why shouldn't they think about their neighbours?
Get over yourselves, having a baby doesn't mean that the normal rules of common decency don't apply. And I wouldn't have any problem making the neighbour cry, if they have no problem leaving a young baby to supposed controlled crying.

oh i hate these threads. people are so precious.

I had to leave DS2 to cry - when up to my arms in DS1's dirty nappies/bathtime/sickness etc. Didnt help he cried a fair bit anyway. (or felt like it anyway)

Thankfully i had very understanding neighbours - DS2 was against the dividing wall the whole time we lived there and it was only as we moved out we realised their beds had just a thin wall between them. Only once did they bang on the wall at 2am.

I know of someone currently moaning about their neighbour and their baby crying. What they forget though is even though their own child now sleeps well, she didnt for at least a year and they used a sleep clinic and controlled crying. They've forgotten that they may have disturbed them themselves.

Move to a detached house.

We did CC with our son,5 min intervals and it took two nights.He has slept through since unless he is unwell.
Leaving them to cry for ages and ages isnt CC i dont think.
Our neighbours baby is 4 weeks and screams most of the night and we are in a mid terrace.
We can hear the noise but it doesnt "disturb" us IYKWIM, i just think poor things,the mum is doing her best and is totally exhausted,she needs support not someone having a go.
I agree it must be awful if you feel the baby is just left though,i know my neighbour is doing her best.

Glad your not my neighbour

when dd is over-tired she just ROARS, you have never heard a louder baby, i swear. i can have her picked up and be comforting her but nothing will stop her crying until she decides.

Imagine being precious about a young child oh the shame!

She's hardly going to be doing CC in the daytime, presumably, in which case she simply has a baby that cries a lot.

pooexplosions, what do you suggest people with inconsolable babies do to shut them up?

I dont think that CC means leaving the baby cry day and night, it means that you leave them for 5 mins go in reassure them than go out, if they cry again reapeat until they settler. I would not do that for a very young baby mabey over 6 months, but i could not leave a baby to cry and cry and do nothing.

Your post does sound a bit presumptious...

How do you know she's leaving him? Colicky babies can cry while being carried for hours (like my DS...) My teething, poorly 14 month old screamed for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night last week - he was being held or in our bed for nearly all of that time. If my neighbour ever mentions having heard DS crying (I apologise to her in advance if he's had a very bad night), I feel twice as bad as I already do after having been up all night with a grumpy baby. We don't do CC either.

I'd feel sorry for the baby but even sorrier for the parents.

TBH what is describes in the OP is not CC. It is just letting a baby cry. Very different. Also CC is only recommended over a year old, and if done properly it should only take a few days, and never results in loengthy crying like this.

OP -can you speak to her at all? Check she is ok? Poor baby, if it isjut being left.