To wish that if someone chooses to do CC with their baby, would be nice if they considered the fact that they are mid terrace with thin walls?

[Squiglet]

Firstly I really dont get CC, not something that has ever felt right for us as a family. Also the baby next door has been left from a very young age (a few weeks old) to cry. He's now 5 months and she just leaves him to cry. In the daytime she leaves him crying often as well as night. She'd never ask for help or accept it and likes to be seen as coping and superwoman. He dp is a medical prof and works long hours and she has an older child too.

I can sypmathise that she might be struggling but it is so hard to hear this little babies crying ds1 9 often comments and says how upset he feels hearing it and that his little brother never cried like that.

And I do know for a fact she does cc because she told me so I'm not presuming.

Alibaba - but that is very different from every day for what can be long periods of time. All babies cry and children too, and sometimnes they are incosolable which is bloody hard. That isnt what I am talking about, but I wouldnt and havent complained to her as that wouldnt help anyone. But it does feel cathartic to moan about it.

"CC is obviously a sensitive issue with some people though - justifying it to themselves perhaps? "

• the OP describes Crying it out - which is totally different from CC.

I have nothing to justify - I did CC with DS1 and have no regrets whatsoever.

mean me avril.

Gosh such emotive language! I don't think most parents do any kind of sleep training because they think their babies are manipulative and demanding, i think most people try things because they are at the end of their tether!

Plus most people know their own babies well enough to know when they are tired/hungry/teething/in pain/bored etc etc etc

All of these procedures and edicts and methods and stuff. What happened to women knowing their children and trusting their instincts? Why do we have to come down in different camps all the time? Why not simply trust that the vast majority of mothers are doing what they think is best, knowing their own children as they do. And that unless they are doing something completely bonkers, everything will be fine in the end.

I think you have to take the thread at face value.

I know there are plenty of parents who leave their babies to cry...

A little baby offered a boob will generally settled for the boob... it's not inevitable that babies cry... theonly time my DD cried was the last 5 minutes or tired howls, while I pushed her round the block in her pram, or drove with her...

Who wants to teach a baby that no one will come... how awful...

Bad Mummy, me thinks!

well I wonder how all the parents who don't use cc manage it then AV?

"Alibaba - but that is very different from every day for what can be long periods of time."

oh I don't know after 2 months or so of the constant crying it kind of pailed into nothingness, I knew when I woke up I would spend the day with a baby screaming all day so got to the stage where I just sat there with screaming baby without really "noticing" that he was screaming - it was the only way to stop me going insane.

CC for those 3 nights was dead easy in comparison - after a mammoth session on the first night to get him off to sleep he slept all the way through

Your previous post is confusing AH - do you find it sad or acceptable that 98% of babies in care sleep through because they've learned no one will come? Surely that's a very sad thing - yet you then seem to approve of cc? Not sure where you're coming from tbh - is your reference to all those children in care proof that the method works?

well in CC someone does come - cry it out no-one comes..........

Easy to say for one whose children didn't scream night after night. DD1 was a textbook perfect baby, DD2 screamed from 5pm til the middle of the following morning and NOTHING I did could stop her. She continued to wake and cry (screaming so loudly I thought the next STREET could hear her), waking up to 8 times a night until she was 15 months old when I stopped going in to her and just let her scream. It took almost a week and then her crying reduced to waking 2 or 3 times a night.

Had I not I would have gone insane and she could have borne the brunt of my exhaustion and frustration.

Babies cry, dogs bark, cows moo. Thats life.

My DD1 screamed her head off from 7 pm til 2am every day for a month when she was small. "offering a boob" or anything else had no effect at all.

However after that she settled down easily and slept through 7-7 without any prodding poking prompting or methods at 6 months.

I hate this "well my baby did X so obviously all babies must be like that" cobblers. They are all little individuals and usually their parents know them well and are doing what they are doing for a reason.

"Babies cry, dogs bark, cows moo. Thats life."

Very good

I think posters have failed to think about how awful this is for squiglet and her family and neighbours.

My BF is a hippy, happy, bf-ing mom, who co-slept and jumped up every time baby cried... which is tiring to say the least...

So how would you feel if after getting up umpteen times to soothe your own baby, either baby or mum or the both of you are woken by the selfish bint next door who is leaving little Johnny to cry for 2 hours to teach him a lesson?

I wonder why they are crying? I mean surely there is a reason....for me it was allergies - for others - teeth/hungry/thirsty? I just don't see how leaving them to cry solves the problem really...

"They are all little individuals "

oh how true - after having had the aboslute hell (sorry it was) of DS1, DS2 was a bloody shock. For starters I could put him down during the day for a little while and he'd lie there happily, or to sleep in his moses basket at the end of our bed.............and I woke up in absolute horror one morning when he was 3 weeks old about 5am convinced he was dead............only to see a little face, mouth open snoring - he'd slept all night , DS3 has been a mixture of both of them, took longer to sleep through at night, but generally q uite a happy chap most of the time.

Squiglet, You said that you think your neighbour may have PND, but she should still consider other people around her.

If you are just going to judge, you would do well to keep your nose out.

Actually I think living in a terraced house with paper thin walls does make this a small part the OP's business. It has been going on for months, is affecting her dc and is distressing to hear. However, if it is colic/reflux I do have huge sympathy as I have been through that with three children and it is hard and exhuasting. But in any case the OP just wants to offload a bit here. Living next door to noise is debilitating and when my friends went down the CC route (and yes I hear you not CC but CIO) the dr advised they have a quick word with their neighbours. But as correctly mention CC is brief and measured, CIO is not.

And before you leap on me I appreciate there is little to be done for colic etc, in which case maybe it would be nice for OP to chat to neighbour. OP can offer a sympathetic ear and will be less troubled by the crying as obviously it is not CIO.

Now you can all have fun trashing my post.

but WWC what if your friend jumping out of bed every squeak could be heard next door and be the thing making little Johnny cry??

No one's way of parenting is the right way. There's just several levels of "good enough" which differ from person to person and baby to baby.

Well for me 'colic' was a dairy allergy so all the formula was not doing me any favours! My mum still feels guilty about not getting it checked out sooner. Everyone just kept telling her I was a fussy baby. Not saying that all colic is the same but I'd say there have to be a few others out there in the same situation....even 29 years later!

"leaving little Johnny to cry for 2 hours to teach him a lesson?"

why this emotive language - the presumption that a crying baby must = coldhearted parent? it's patent nonsense.

Also "I wonder why they are crying? I mean surely there is a reason....for me it was allergies - for others - teeth/hungry/thirsty?"

I assume this was aimed at me and others who had babies who screamed inconsolably for hours every night. Well no-one knows do they - they call it "colic" but they haven't worked out exactly what it is. To imply that we were all leaving our babies unfed/unwatered/not tending to their needs is quite offensive now I think about it. Some babies just cry a lot. No-one knows why.