To wish that if someone chooses to do CC with their baby, would be nice if they considered the fact that they are mid terrace with thin walls?

[Squiglet]

Firstly I really dont get CC, not something that has ever felt right for us as a family. Also the baby next door has been left from a very young age (a few weeks old) to cry. He's now 5 months and she just leaves him to cry. In the daytime she leaves him crying often as well as night. She'd never ask for help or accept it and likes to be seen as coping and superwoman. He dp is a medical prof and works long hours and she has an older child too.

I can sypmathise that she might be struggling but it is so hard to hear this little babies crying ds1 9 often comments and says how upset he feels hearing it and that his little brother never cried like that.

And I do know for a fact she does cc because she told me so I'm not presuming.

And could someone point out exactly where i have said this baby is neglected?

sugar water and no milk at 5 1/2 months during the night??!! Please tell me you advised her against this!

I'm a lentil weaver and hate CC, but I really think you need to give yourself a talking to. You sound like a judgemental beeyatch.

6 months and no i didnt advise either way, just listened.

Carrie - wow that was a really helpful post. You really have read my posts on this havent you.. or have you just skimmed other posts? bitch i am then.

She's at the end of her tether isn't she and trying everything she can think of.

Can you offer to help? Do they have cash maybe she could pay someone to come and look after the kids while she has a break?

If she is giving him sugar water at night to try and get him to sleep through then presumably she wasn't just leaving him before. Unless she was and is now trying something else?

Poor woman. Could you point her in the direction of MN, she would get plenty of advice and support on here. You'd probably have to get this thread deleted first!

Sorry - I know I focussed on that one part Squiglet. It's good that you've made contact and that things are settling down with the dethronement issue. I just find it shocking that someone would be giving sugar water instead of milk - even without considering what it would do the the baby's teeth - it means he is missing out on proper nutrition at an important developmental stage. 6 months is still very young to go through the night without a bf....no wonder the baby is crying.

ImSoNoTelling - I really hope she hasnt found mn already because i'd hate her to feel bad at all. I know she has it tought, hence posting her and not moaning at her.

The sugar water reasoning was that he was bfing in the night and not enough in the day so she is trying to swap that around. Not heard of it, but she isnt first timer and successfully bfed her ds1 to 2-3yr. I am hoping that we meet up more so that she can eat cake and drink tea here and have a change of scenery (its chaotic here )

I would offer more feeds in day - by giving sugar at night she is still giving food then, just a different sort of food, so why would baby change feeding habits. But that;s by the bye really! She sounds desperate to me.

If you get more friendly with her you can suggest MN, various books etc. You could approach it from a POV of you went on MN when you had a problem of some sort and they were great and it's weird it's all over the news now type thing and let her draw her own conclusions.

MN is the only parenting resource a woman needs IMO.

No way poo as soon as dd started toddlerhood i replaced the milk in the night with water in a bottle and placed it beside her so that if she was thirsty in the night she could take that and not expect a feed or food. Hell no if i am waking in the night to make food or drink if they are old enough to know that they should eat their dinner and that they do not have milk in the night. Babies are different but toddlers/children no way

Squiglet I am pleased that things are working out, mabey your neighbour wanted someone to talk to, poor thing its hard when you have a child with any disability and a crying baby that will not be quite and cry for hours on end. Mabey she just needed understanding and a shoulder to cry on so to speak.

bubbleymummy i don't feel my ds is enslaving me at all through crying or any other reason, what i meant was, and i apologise for lack of clarity is that endless rocking/patting/feeding to sleep etc. can be quite restrictive and limiting as your entire life iscentred around it. Looking after a 3 year old and an 18 week old as I do it's important for the sake of the whole family that he learns to settle himself to sleep, early on. And if that means a few minutes of squawking now and again so be it. I do not have the time or the inclination to devore hours settling him when it takes less than 3 minutes on average to settle himself, usually calmly, sometimes with a bit of shouting.

And i stand by my point that once he's fully weaned say 10 months or so if he's still waking up for milk in the night on a REGULAR basis, this means its' a habit and I'll do something about it. If it's ocassional it's a need for fluid in which case I'd give him water. I'll also do my best to see what he's doing during daylight hours.

It goes without saying that whenever he cries if it's due to cold/hunger/wet/dirty/boredom/in pain/poorly I'd address that and soothe and cuddle him. If it's just a question of struggling to settle then I try to encourage him to do that himself. If I rock/pat/shush him to sleep he gets more and more agitated thrashing about and wriggling, up tp half an hour. If i do and wind down routine then put him in his cot/pram awake but drowsy he either goes to sleep straight away or takes up to 5 mins with a bit of crying. for me it's a no brainer.