to ask party guests to not smoke or wear stillettos in the house

[Irishchic]

I got a party invite today. On the invite it said it would be appreciated if guests did not smoke in the house or wear stilettos (this couple have recently renovated house and fair enough have spent a fortune on lovely oak floors throughout..)

I think this is ok to put on an invite. Another friend of mine is livid and thinks it's really rude...

Is my friend BU?

Its their house and they can politely ask for this (which doesnt seem particularly unreasonable to me), particularly if they've just done the place.

It's a bit declasse.

But I would be fine with the warning in advance as if going to a party I might have worn my thin heeled party shoes. And I'm a short-arse so wouldn't look good with my shoes off and would rather have warning so I could wear thick heeled shoes/boots.

about the stilettos, that is quite funny. Fair enough about smoking imho.

Still at least if the guests know in advance about the shoes, they can wear an alternative. I would still pmsl at putting it on an invite though.

the no smoking is fine
the no stilletos is a bit weird
I can understand why though

I wouldn't have a party inside if I was that worried about my floor as I would hate to ask people not to wear high heels.

Thank god we have engineered wooden floors.

Yes, I think that your friend is BU. I'd hate people to smoke in my house or bugger up new flooring. If your friend dosen't like it, perhaps she should stay at home, wearing high heels and chain-smoking .

I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask both things.

It wouldn't bother me at all. I think its very rude to smoke in someone's house if they don't smoke. If a friend had spent a lot of money on oak floors and stillettos would damage the floor then I'd be whipping my shoes off.

If your friend is livid then it doesn't sound like she's much of a friend to the people whose party it is. She doesn't have to go if she doesn't like it.

It is OK to ask for not smocking. I ask people to take their shoes off when they come to mine so the no stilletto would not bother me one bit either.

i haev done no stielltos once after our floor was aertexed

( on teh invitation)

Have you seen the damage stillettos can do to a wooden floor?

Its fair enough.

Am surprised about the smoking though. Nobody I know would ever light up in anyone else's house. It has become completely socially unasseptable.

Smoking's declasse. Having to ask people not to smoke in your house just means that some of the invitees may not be quite housetrained. (Think Jim Royle)

yes i dont know any smokers

they are all poor peopel surely?

What gracious hosts.

If they're that worried why don't they throw their party in a restaurant?

Maybe because they spent all their money on their floors.

And vascular surgeons, funnily enough.

i think it's odd to put it on an invite. most people these days wouldn't smoke indoors. certainly not without asking. and no-one would be offended to be sent outside. ime people go outside for a moke anyway.

stilletos - hmmm, not sure. personally I'd hate to care that much abt my floor and suspct these people sould get a bit of a grip. re putting it on the invite - I guess it's warning people so they can choose shoes they don't have to take off. but, tbh, how many of us have a selection of shoes to go to parties in....I think if you're going to have nice new wooden floors and parties you need to chill out.

I'm more surprised that anyone thought they had to stipulate no smoking - any smokers I know automatically look for the back door if they're gasping.

Fair enough on the No Stilettos, though I might have giggled a bit when i first saw the invite. Actually, I would have giggled to see an invite - the sort of parties we go to are the ones where someone sends round an email/text saying we're bored, come round to ours for some beers and a curry.....

aertex floors??

Mildly interesting about the stilettos - a few decades ago it was not uncommon for clubs etc to ban them because they trashed the dancefloors. I don't think it's rude any more than asking visitors to remove their shoes (of whatever type) is rude.

reminds me of a house party i had as a teen. a friend wore stiletto's and walked across the kitchen floor leaving a hole in the lino every time the heel went down. i immediately asked everyone to leave and had to fess up to my parents, damage was more than i could fix before they came home!

op, tell your friend who is livid at the requests that story and ask them if they'd be happy if someone's shoes caused enough damage to warrant replacing the floor in their house.

Depends who you're inviting - your friends might always assume that there was no smoking indoors but that's not going to be the case with everyone.

yes our kitchen has a load of dots where she was standing

Neither request is unreasonable.

I am also intrigued by the aertex flooring. Is it old shirts knitted into a sort of carpet or what?