to ask party guests to not smoke or wear stillettos in the house

[Irishchic]

I got a party invite today. On the invite it said it would be appreciated if guests did not smoke in the house or wear stilettos (this couple have recently renovated house and fair enough have spent a fortune on lovely oak floors throughout..)

I think this is ok to put on an invite. Another friend of mine is livid and thinks it's really rude...

Is my friend BU?

Nah not unreasonable at all IMO

Nikita... I'm glad all my mates would rather have a good party then worry about their floors ..just as well we ain't mates

tbh I am more worried about arson and pet poisoning when I have a party

but then my friends are all Hells Angels

No smoking, very reasonable request. No stilletos, very precious. Don't have a party if you're that bovvered.

Will there be food? Make sure you don't spill any, that could be the deal breaker.

Stilettos, obviously.

Well, I think it's fine. Wedges are fashionable now anyway.

Tabout 20 years ago, I would have considered these instruction on an invitation akin to "no puking, except in the loo", but I've grown up since then.

'Is your floor more important than your guests comfort?'

I tend to find that stilettoes are uncomfortable after a few hours wearing them anyway.

OP's friends should be able to throw a party without worrying about their floors being ruined. It's not as if they're asking people not to wear shoes, or any heels, just not stilettoes.

If their friends could be relied on to show some consideration by not wearing stilettoes/smoking (and this is obviously not the case with all of their friends, the reaction of the OP's friend proving this) then they wouldn't have had to send these requests with the invites.

rofl at 'is your floor more important than your guests comfort' - ha ha ha. Stilettos & comfort in the same sentence - I dont think so. (That is unless they are sat in a box on your lap!)

'Is your floor more important than your guests comfort?'

'I tend to find that stilettoes are uncomfortable after a few hours wearing them anyway'

You're quoting something I wrote earlier, but if you re-read you'll see that I was talking about normal shoes when I said this, not stilettos.

Obviously completely agree with you both re. stillettos and comfort - not normally found in the same sentence, are they?

no problemo with either request
many prefer no smoking and remove outdoor shoes

sorry mattiellie completely misread

No YANBU, in your house visitors should respect your wishes, they would expect it in their own homes.

Do some really walk in stilettos?

My dh put a wood floor down, then gave all sorts of instructions on what was allowed to go the floor.
Um..we have 3 dc's one of which is 2 years old and a big dog - the floor will get ruined anyway.

I had to say to my friend who comes round a lot and always wears high heels that she had to walk on tip toe through the hall until she reached the kitchen.
Luckily she knows dh and wasn't bothered by the request.

Me personally couldn't care less about a floor and would have been fine with a laminate but that is what he wanted so fine, but why the hell put a floor down that is guaranteed to get ruined!!!

It does look very nice though.

After having my floor ruined by somebody else's shoes, I would say it is rudder to wear stilettos and smoke in other people's homes.

It's not de rigeur to put such stipulations on an invitation.

When guests arrive it is so much more polite to say to the ladies 'I am so sorry but we've just had these new oak floors put down and I'm a bit precious about them, do mind mind taking any stilletos off?'

On the issue of smoking it is polite to say to the guests who smoke - 'I've put some ashtrays on the patio table'.

I'd be a bit surprised at the no-smoking bit, but the stilettos thing is quite reasonable. I've been to lots of events in venues where there have been requirements because of the floors (ie no red wine, no stilettos). Not in people's houses, but can't see the difference. Most smokers go outside anyway and you can always just open the windows the next day.

Sorry mattellie

I just thought it was a great sentence in which to make my point. I really should have reread your post and included a response to that instead of just borrowing your sentence

expatinscotland "Do some really walk in stilettos?"

Yes, but only for 3 to 4 years max and only occasionally.

So to all those who think it's unacceptable to ask for guests to remove/not wear stilettoes.... are you all saying that you'd feel perfectly justified and OK about it if you were responsible for causing hundreds of pounds worth of damage to someone's house? Just for the sake of wearing a certain pair of shoes?

Suggesting no stillettos and no smoking on the invite doesn't suggest the party is going to be especially fun does it?

We have flipping gorgeous original 1820s pitch pine stripped floorboards (with some, but not comprehensive rug coverage) throughout our house. We have had our wedding reception, 6 kid's birthdays, 3 New Year's parties, my 40th and 2 lots of very boozy Xmas drinks here in the last 5 years. No dress-codes or footwear stipulations. A few dents but I'd rather have holes in the floor than tell people what not to wear on their feet.

Indeed, clam. I rather think that the hosts are being quite gracious - imagine how horrified you'd be if it transpired that you'd inadvertently totally wrecked someone's new flooring with your shoes? Much better to warn in advance, imo.

It has however crossed my mind that the hostess devised these invitations because the host has a stiletto fetish...

mazzystartled I like the sound of your house...give me a few pockmarks that form part of a house's history over pristine floors any day.

thank you hatwoman

yep, give me a bit of patina over a place where you are scared you are going to spill your drink any day